The Black Valley Becomes the Empress
The Part 18
I have to get home soon, that's all I'm thinking about right now. I saw my face for the last time. Before it's too late.
"Mang, could it be more flattering?" I said while patting the shoulder of the base ojek mamang.
"iya nenk. handle ya nenk. slippery road afraid of falling" said the ojek mamang agreed to my request. I tightened my grip to the jacket he was wearing. Several times we almost fell because of the slippage motorcycle tyre, but mamang ojek who had mastered the battlefield so that he could save us from falling. Rain that may last night or maybe dawn has begun to subside leaving puddles in some parts of the road uneven. The road to my village is indeed rocky.A few years ago the local village government proposed road improvements, but did not also get a response.
Mamang ojek stopped his motorbike right in front of my yard. I got off the bike slowly, my house was crowded with mourners.I dropped the bag in my hand and ran towards the house. My tears broke again when I saw my father's body wrapped stiffly in front of me. Silvana and fadly approached me hugging my body to embrace my father. My crying didn't stop for a moment. I occasionally call his name. Makes the atmosphere more blue. The chanting of the holy verse of the Qur'an resonated in my ears to put to each other. Sometimes we heard sobs.
"Sir I want to see you one last time" I told a religious leader who I thought had finished reading my prayers for you. The ustadz man glanced at me for a moment, then nodded in agreement.
"Don't cry yes, kasian later your father is heavy there. Open your heart. Everyone alive will surely die" said Mr. Ustadz advising me. I nodded slowly. After reciting a prayer near the father's ubun2 wrapped in cloth, Mr. ustadz very carefully unbinded the head of the father. Tears forced to get out of place.I quickly remove the tears so as not to fall dripping. I saw my father's face there. There was peace in his sleep this time. As if all the heavy burden that had been on his shoulder had been lost.there was relief reflected on his face. Mr. ustadz covered his face again with a shroud that wrapped it earlier.
"Look at how well your father slept today. Your father was a good man. God has given us the best place there. Postpone. Sincere" said mr. ustadz again. I still can't hold back my tears.
I don't know how hard it feels to lose my father. Although I lost it once, long ago. But this time I felt a lot of pain. The pain I felt was so deep in my chest. The one I myself somehow explained. It hurts more when compared to when I was gone on our wedding day.
Some people began to prepare to take the father to the final resting place. I was still quietly resting by my father's side, as my neighbors were preparing cranes for my father's vehicle. Tears continued to flow, although I tried several times to stop them, but they seemed to refuse to stop.
"Eteh wants to come to the grave" asked silvana in between her sobs.I looked at her for a moment. Empty gazes. I didn't answer her question with words, just a nod of my head that I showed her to represent my answer.
No matter how long someone had a pashmina in my head. I glanced for a moment. Silvana seems to be tidying pashmina to stick perfectly cover my hair. Silvana took me out of the house, giving way to the neighbors who were about to lift the rigid body of the father. I just follow without saying. I think part of my soul is gone.
"Bapaaaakkk" I shouted and silvana together as little by little the ground covered the body of the father. All eyes glanced at me as well as silvana. Our bodies fell to the ground. The tears kept wetting our cheeks. Fadly jumped from the belly button eating. Grab us into the arms.
"Patient tea, strong ena tea. There's Ade here. Ade promised to keep eteh the same tea as the father" said Fadly. His voice stamped. Tears flowed from both corners of her eyes, though not so much as we did.
"Tea is not strong" I said in between tears. Fadly hugged us even tighter. Fadly grabbed my hands and silvana together. It made us stand up straight, although to be honest our legs had lost their strength. Even just to support our own bodies. Fadly went back inside the burrow. Start helping the neighbors who hoe the ground in order to cover the rigid body of the father.
Prayer is over. One by one the fathers came home. We remain the fathers who still remain staring blankly into the tomban made of wood. In addition to the only photo that we can see when one day long to touch our hearts.
"Father does not exist." I said softly. I swiped my father's headstone full of love. "Tea was not there beside the father at the last moment" I continued. "Useful child tea" my cries hardened again. The sky today is cloudy even though it is not raining, as if he was sorry for the passing of the father.
"If there was a mother beside us" said Silvana.
"Mom died a long time ago" I replied aloud. Haru's feelings turned angry. Both my sisters were silent. The pain they felt made them forget that I would always be angry when talking about my mother. The sound of lightning started to sound.
"It's raining soon. Come home tea" said Fadly while holding my hand and silvana. I looked at him for a moment and then shook my head to give an answer.
"Eteh wants to be here" I said.
"Tea, I'm calm there. We're not alone. We still have each other" said fadly. "Back of tea" said fadly again. Silvana just kept silent while staring at the father's navel. Fadly then grabbed my hand and also the hand of silvana. In his hand we both. We left my father lying there by himself. Step gontai. The whole energy seemed to disappear from my body. Yeah Fadly's right, we're still looking at each other. Life is still going on. This is not the end, but the beginning of my struggle. The fight will be harder than ever.
