The Black Valley Becomes the Empress

Part 17's

Today the sky seems more cloudy than usual. The sun refused to show itself. The gurgling of rainwater added a piercing chill to my bone marrow. My eyes were puffy, I had been crying since this morning. The phone call from silvana made my heart tear to perfection. The pain I felt deep inside my heart. This journey felt long and exhausting. Sometimes I wipe away my tears as my eyes begin to blur. "Who else will I lean on, Lord? Why did you take my father so soon?" inner shouting. My tears just keep on breaking. I don't care about the pair of eyeballs that occasionally notice me on the bus. All I want is one, get home soon. Seeing the father for the last time before the father in between to his final rest. I felt like the bus was going too slow this time. I began to rile, several times I contacted silvana asking if the father had been buried, silvana replied waiting for me. Tears keep flowing. I glanced at the clock on my wrist when it showed at 9am. It still takes 2-3 hours to arrive at the terminal I said batin.not to mention after from the terminal I had to take 1 hour drive to arrive at my home. My mind is soaring. Looking out the window of the bus I was riding in.

"Sorry, this bench is still empty?" ask a man whose age might only be a few years older than mine. I glanced towards the source of the voice. Staring at his face with no expression. So deep was my daydream that I didn't realize when there were some passengers riding after the bus drove. When I first got on the bus, it seemed that only half of the seats were filled. Now everything was filled except for the seat next to me. "it just so happens that the entire passenger seat is filled with only this seat that is empty" he continued.

"Snack" I said at last. My voice was raucous because I was crying. I turned my face back on. staring out the window. My mind is still struggling with my memory of my father, the man who raised us all. the man who never complains is tired of working despite the 20 hours of his time in a day he spends working despite the wages he earns just enough for us to eat and school fees alone. "God, why did you give me such a heavy burden. Why did you give me a responsibility that should be your responsibility. Sir we still need a father, I still want to be filial, why not the woman who died?" I screamed in my heart and cried. I don't care about anything right now. I just want to cry. That'sthat's all.

"Letting yourself be a spectacle when crying, will only confirm if you are a poor fool and give up easily" said one man from my left side. I glanced at him, looking at his face for a moment until I was sure the man sitting next to me was not the man I had asked for permission from.

"I don't care" I said. His words struck my heart.

"It turns out I misjudged you, miss. Not just stupid, unfortunate and easy to give up. But you're selfish too"

"You don't know me so stop judging about my life"

"I don't need to know you more deeply, miss. To be able to judge you. Just sitting next to you for a while, I already know how you are"

"Sok knows" I gawked.wouldn't want me to serve also my quarrel with this strange man.

"No feeling" I said a little. The tears that flowed from the corner of my eyes grew louder.

"Then cry all you want. Shout as you please. Make yourself ashamed of your behavior" he replied. He was still looking straight ahead. Not one bit turned to me. I'm speechless. Didn't intend to answer his words even just say one broken word no. "Why are you silent now, miss? does that mean you justify my words?" continued again. I'm still silent. I looked deeply into the man's face with hatred. I wanted to hit her on the head and scream right in her ear why I was crying this time. I'm tired of being next to this guy. I wish the bus would go faster, so that I wouldn't be around this guy much longer. I closed my eyes. My head was a little dizzy, probably due to me crying nonstop for several hours.My eyes felt a little sore when closed. I remember the first time I got the news that you were in the hospital at about 3 am. After that, I cleaned up and packed up to go home. As soon as I got my leave permit I left my place to collect rupiah coffers. Apparently luck is not on my side. No taxis crossed that road. It rained so hard that morning. To make me run to shelter at the nearest bus stop. Several times I tried to order a taxi online, but no one was able to take me to the terminal. My erratic, restless and agitated mind filled every niche in my heart. I wasted an hour waiting for one uncertain thing.

"Teh, the father's condition is getting worse" the message that fadly sent me. My tears are dripping so hard. The streets were still quiet at the time, I tried again and again to contact the taxi base until the call was answered. The taxi I ordered arrived shortly after I ordered it. I hurried up the taxi, mentioning the terminal as my destination. And started looking for a bus to my hometown.a small run under the rain that was beginning to subside. "Si al" I muttered in my heart as I looked at the scheduled departure of the bus which was still 2 hours away. Today was so hard for me. In addition to the sad news of the departure of the father. It hurts my heart more to accept the fact that I wasn't next to my father in his last moments.

...****************...

Someone shook my body.I slowly opened my eyes.

"It's here" he said as I opened my eyes, though it wasn't completely open yet. With a flash I stood up, and prepared to get off the bus. My eyes caught the floating bus ticket paper as I stood, it landed on the floor of the bus upside down. There was something written behind the paper.I picked up the paper.read every word in the writing.

"Sorry lady, I said rudely to you. I see you haven't stopped crying since. I see fatigue in your eyes. I just want to piss you off. Because that way you'll close your eyes because you're mad at me and start falling asleep" I squeezed the paper as I read through all of it. I had forgotten the incident that made me angry earlier, but the writing from the man made me recall it.