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It's getting late, since the incident at Alvin's restaurant has not returned. He might be angry at my attitude. Let it go, the most important thing is that what I say is true. I, sitting on the balcony terrace, heard the knocking of the door. I walked to open the door.
"Do you say that because you already have someone you love ? And basically, you also want to quickly part with me so that you can marry that man."
I stared at him sharply. "So you think like that ?."
"Yes." Yeah."
I smiled thinly. "It's up to you to think what it's like, Vin. It makes no difference either."
"That's not what I want to hear from you."
"Then what ? You want to hear if what you think is true ? Or.... You want to hear me say I love you ?." Alvin was silent.
"You don't love me, for what it all matters."
With a face that was hard to decipher, alvin just left. I closed the door again. What exactly is going on with him ? Why would he ask such an unimportant question ? Time keeps going. If he doesn't love me or at least learns to love me, he doesn't need to know anything like that. He doesn't have to go too deep in my life.
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Now I'm going around the house explaining every rule or detail of the house to the housekeeper. Before Alvin went to work, he told me there would be a housekeeper who had passed his selection. The housekeeper looks good. She is older than my mother.
I was working on finishing my writing, sitting on the bed. I smiled, thinking of the surprised face of auntie when she found out that my room and Alvin were separated. We are husband and wife but we feel like other people. Husband, wife bound only ijab kabul. Legitimate to religion and law. Not bound by love and legitimately become husband and wife in each other's hearts.
While I was sitting in the living room watching TV, my aunt brought me a glass of orange juice with ice on the table. Aunt suddenly sat down on the floor next to me, I immediately told her to sit on the sofa. At first the aunt was reluctant, afraid of being disrespectful but as I kept convincing it was okay, the aunt ended up sitting next to me.
"Must be non hurt by the circumstances" said aunty.
I'm turning. There wasn't much I told my aunt about this marriage, but from the look in her eyes she understood how I felt.
I smiled softly. "You know what else, bi. This is my destiny."
"Auntie is sure, someday no one will surely get happiness for this painful sacrifice of taste."
"Hopefully, bi." Then smile, thin.
"Wait for me, we'll eat together." Standing up, looking at me. Then leave.
It didn't take long, Alvin showed up. We also ate together. It turns out auntie's cooking is better than mine.
"You still angry ?." Alvin asked in front of me.
"Angry, why ?." Then put a spoonful of rice and its side dishes into the mouth.
"James problem."
"I've forgotten it, Vin." Just a little bit of chewing.
"I'm sorry, if I thought that I didn't."
"Nothing."
"You've always understood me, but I never understood you."
"Eat him, learn to understand." Then stand up, walk towards the sink to wash the dishes.
When washing dishes, you want to put the dishes in place. The plate slipped out of my hand, rolled and fell to the floor. I tried to clean by directly picking up the broken plates.
"Armgh." I said, feeling shocked and painful to feel my index finger scratched by the shard. Blood slowly dripped slightly, onto the floor. Lots of people came out.
Suddenly someone reached for my injured hand. Alvin, the man was looking at my finger that was still bleeding. Alvin took me to the front of the sink, then he put my finger under the water running from the faucet.
He took me to the dining table, and he went and brought me back a P3K box. He sat next to me, then began to treat my wounds gently. I'm watching her. Seeing Alvin like this makes me afraid that my heart will melt, and end up falling in love.
I was happy, seeing his attitude like this but I was also afraid that this was all just the beginning. No one knows his heart. All the possibilities can happen.2 years is still a long time, there are still many worst possibilities happen or. I don't know. I can only leave this to God. Alvin's heart and decision.
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