Sisi, The Pending Soulmate

Satria felt guilty

Arriving at the park, Satria parked her car. He's not out, he wants to stay in the car while reading a letter from Sisi.

Dear Satria,

Sorry if I told you something you don't like. Sorry if I disappointed you. Sorry if I was selfish. Since long ago, I could always dream of getting a chance to study abroad, you have known about this since we were in High School.

If you say this is heavy for you with our condition that must be separated, then the same thing with me. None of this is easy for me. Being away from you is not what I want. Since my parents lived, my world has been completely silent. Until we are finally found. I've rediscovered the colors in my life since I was with you. I've been dreaming since I was with you. I've been finding my spirit and confidence since I was with you.

One day, I forgot exactly when, accidentally found that scholarship ad on the internet. Then I tried filling out the submission form. Long time no answer even I forgot about it. Arrived last week when checking email turned out there was an answer from the campus that I was headed.

I didn't just answer even until you read this letter, I haven't answered that email.

If you ask why, the answer is because of YOU. Yeah, because of you. I want to pursue my dreams if you will, if you will. If you feel like I'm not thinking about your feelings, you're wrong.

I could have agreed to the scholarship if I hadn't thought about you.But I didn't, I would have accepted the scholarship if you'd allowed it, if you wouldn't have allowed it then I wouldn't have taken it.

I wanted to explain all this yesterday but you were already angry at the beginning without giving me a chance to explain. Now I wonder if there is still love like it used to be for me in your heart.

Because the Satria that I know first is Satria who can always control her emotions because her love is so great for me can defeat all emotions in her.

The Satria I met last night are not the same as my previous Satria. I'm scared, I'm disappointed..Am I starting to lose my Satria ?

My Satria is the man who promised to do anything for my happiness, will help me realize all my dreams.

Then where is my Satria ?

Honestly, I was hesitant and feeling lost. I was wounded and more and more afraid to face the reality if it were true that I would lose my Satria who had been there for me all along.

I'm sorry if I've done so much wrong so slowly your love is gone for me.

I need some time alone. Treat the wound and prepare if my Satria no longer love me.

You also need time to ask your heart again, is there really still love there for me.

For a while, I chose to leave your life. No need to worry, because I'll be fine. I need time, and so do you. We should be like this for a while, each of us lives life while thinking and asking where this heart will go.

If it is true that my Satria still loves me, then ask God to give us his way.

Take care of your health and take good care of yourself. I love you.

From the one who loves you to the one who loves you at any time

- Side

Satria could not hold back her tears as she read the letter from Sisi. He really felt guilty for his attitude last night. He was selfish because he felt Sisi wasn't thinking about him, he was wrong. Sisi loves him a lot and now Sisi is the one who feels that Satria changed, Sisi feels the loss of Satria that he has known because of the selfishness of Satria last night.

"Go back please, I still love you very much and until whenever this feeling will not change" Satria said sobbing.

Satria hit her head many times to the steering wheel of the car in front of her. He ruffled his hair in frustration.

"Now I have to find you where dear" he said in his heart.

Satria takes her HP and contacts Renata. "Maybe Renata knows which side" Satria thought.

Satria's heart aches when Renata doesn't know Sisi's whereabouts. Even Renata also blamed Satria for his attitude this time.

"If anything happens to Sisi, I can't forgive Kaka", Renata said before disconnecting his phone.

Renata decides to meet Rama at his house when Sisi leaves. Soon he drove his car to Satria and Rama's house.

Rama and his parents were in the back garden when Renata came.

"Ka Satria isn't home yet ? " ask Renata to Rama.

"From the morning he came out and has not come home yet" replied Rama.

Renata tells him that Satria called him and was looking for Sisi. Rama and his parents were worried. They did not expect Sisi to leave.

"Let Mother call Satria and ask her to go home first" said Mother as she immediately took her HP.

Two hours passed, finally Satria returned to her home. Renata has been trying to find Sisi's whereabouts. He asks Adit, it's possible that Adit saw him on campus this morning, but today Adit hasn't met Sisi at all.

Satria was trying to find where Sisi used to teach but there was no Sisi there. From the description of his students' parents, Sisi last night asked permission not to be able to teach first in a time that Sisi could not be sure until when. This makes Satria worse, because it means Sisi plans to leave for an undetermined time. He couldn't imagine that Sisi didn't want to go back on her.

Satria came home in a very messy condition. Both her parents as well as Rama and Renata were already waiting for her in the living room. Her mother held Satria to sit down first when Satria was about to pass through the living room.

"Tell me what happened, son" said Mother gently to Satria.

Satria took the letter Sisi left for her and gave it to her mother. Mother then read it and understand what her child feels. "The misunderstanding between my two children must end soon", Mother's mind.

Satria also recounted that Sisi paid a farewell to the parents of his students until the deadline that Sisi could not determine.

"You calm down first, I'll tell people to look for Sisi's whereabouts" said the father to calm his son.

"It's all because of my stupidity", Satria replied regretfully.

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