Satuku Hand Husband

I'm a Bad Man

The laughter of Mandala stopped. The one-armed man then covered his face with his right hand and shook his head weakly.

Where Amadea once imagined, that he would see a cold and fierce Mandala would look as weak and fragile as this.

"Papa was busy saving the family business that was about to go bankrupt. To be honest I only found out later after adulthood that papa and mama have been cold war for a long time. And it hurts more because I didn't know anything.

My dad cheated on me and had a daughter from another woman. I know from my mom's diary. Somehow their fate but I never knew firsthand papa's disgusting behavior. Maybe he played behind my mama very neatly before it was revealed.

At the end of the day, my mom wrote that I apologized and promised to forget about the woman. But is it a happy ending? Of course not, Dea. It's complicated."

The mandala looked like it was glaring when telling this dark story. Amadea continues to listen. Not because he was curious about this story. But he really wanted to make Mandala feel relieved because he had shared his story.

Amadea believes that after Rafael Malik died, Mandala had no one to talk to.'

"Mama also wrote that he gave a lot of money so that they could get out of their lives. Papa knows and he's quiet. He took off his stash and his daughter went somewhere. Mama kept the place where they escaped.

Life went a bit normal after that painful incident. Mama thought after she got pregnant again and had a daughter, papa would completely forget about them. But it didn't. The presence of Marisa does not make papa forget his first daughter.

In my diary, my mother wrote that at the age of Marisa who was only a year old, papa was caught telling his men to look for his son. Mama's stressed and certainly raging. He promised me again that he would not repeat.

If you were a girl, would you believe a man who lied to you so many times?" Pras looked at Amadea as if he wanted an opinion.

Amadea is certainly shaking. Can he imagine how much pain mama Mandala used to feel, apart from the impact of depression that can not be justified as well.

Mandala took a long breath. Amadea still looked at him attentively.

"After Marisa died, my mother was afraid that she would turn away and look for her daughter again. He is afraid of being left out. My position as a boy is forgotten. In my mother's eyes there was no price.

I'm not hurt. I know you must have a hard time because of your behavior. My family's really toxic, Dea. Worse and worse than your story about your family. Are you afraid of me now? The Barata family who are respected and respected in the public eye, the original is nothing more than trash. We're fakes."

...

Silence again, but Dea's hand kept moving around stroking the man's back.

"Mama once said she had made**nuh the woman and her son when they ran amok to me. Maybe he was unconscious when he said it. Whether it's a hallucination or a real one I don't know.

I only realized the meaning of his words after reading the book. I don't know if my step-sister is alive or not because I don't want to confess.

My family's that bad, Dea. Embarrassing, insane, and full of dark traces. I feel dirty..."

Amadea looked back at the eyes of Mandala who was looking at her with a look of hope. Mandala seemed to hope that Dea would not judge him so badly. Yeah, he knows it's bad. But don't be judged too badly.

"You're not dirty. You are not wrong..." Amadea said with a stifled cry. He feels pity.

The mandala stared at the floor.

"Do you hate your mom and dad?" Amadea finally let out the question after a moment they both daydreamed in silence.

Mandala nodded.

"I can understand. Its okay's. You're strong enough Mas has survived so far. You're not evil. You become temperamentous and grumpy but never physically abusive. Your words are rude and never insult the physical or personal of your employees.

Mandala.

"You're judging me too well, Dea. I really want to be like you. You love your late father. Then about your mother and all her behavior, you can still be patient and accept it even if you suffer.

I am a bad boy. I was sad when my mother died, but it is undeniable that there is relief because I know after that there is no more tormenting figure I was born inner.

When my father died, I was even more relieved. Oh, finally there's no scuffle and the actor that rules my life anymore. It feels like it. When papa was sickly, I could not take it anymore and revealed my mother's diary. Papa didn't admit it all and was silent when I asked where my step-sister was from the affair.

I did not shed a single tear. Even when colleagues came to the funeral and journalists covered, I tried hard to look sad when I was ordinary.

I was that bad Dea. I'm evil, right?" The mandala began to tear up again.

Amadea couldn't stand it. He removed his hand from Mandala's hand and wrapped it around her shoulder. Amadea hugged Mandala while crying.

Mandalas cry without a sound. He did not understand how Dea could embrace him and did not disdain him after all these confessions.

"No! You're not evil, Mom. Sometimes that feeling exists. I was disoriented when my father died, but there was a hidden relief that could not be denied from my heart either.

Finally, I don't have any more pain. Finally, I did not have to pretend that it was okay to see my mother angry at my father because of the crippling conditions that resulted in the economic foundation of our family being destroyed.

That feeling is also on me. You don't have to feel bad or guilty. Don't punish yourself..."

Amadea said while crying until her chest tightened. In fact, he cried with more frenzy than Mandala whose face was now dry.

"So you don't hate me? Don't think I'm a disgusting man?" Mandala manatap Dea whose cheeks are still wet.

Now it's so awkward to realize they've been crying together and hugging each other so tightly. Eating Mandala so wear the call 'me-you' again after than was too comfortable wearing 'me-you.'

The meaning is the same, but in the ear sounds different.

Dea nodded. "No. I don't hate you, Mom. Please don't hate yourself, either. They're gone, and now it's time for you to move on quietly while improving your broken condition."

Mandala smiled with teary eyes. "I thought you'd consider me a monster."

Amadea. "You're not a monster. You're just a poor kid growing up abnormally. You're the victim..."

Without waiting for Amadea to finish with her words, Mandala hugged Amadea. A close hug even if asked one hand that is perfect to hold.

"Thank you for not thinking I'm evil. Not even Meirika knows about this. He doesn't deserve to know. Only you know this secret now besides Rafael.

Tomorrow we get married and Meirika keeps terrorizing me. He's not bothering you, is he?" Mandala immediately asked that at the end of her sentence as soon as she let go of her embrace.

Amadea straight stiff. Yes actually he felt terrorized anyway time receiving DM insults from the famous artist. But should he complain to Mandala?

Mandala looked at Dea questioningly.

"Don't tell me Meirika got your phone number and your neror!" Mandala guessed and Dea could only shut up.

CONNECT ...