Satuku Hand Husband

The Dark Past

Suddenly became quiet again. The solemn conversation just now was suddenly silent.

The empty air of this house makes the confusing atmosphere in Amadea's heart become increasingly upset.

So now they're visiting the place where the body of the late mama Mandala was found?

And the scene was right in front of where Amadea was sitting?

Instead of being afraid, but now seeing the downcast Mandala with reddened eyes made Dea feel pity.

I don't know how old Mandala was when it happened. But at any age, it feels like finding your biological mother**h yourself and dying at home alone is a terrible thing. Just imagine Dea can't.

"If you're not comfortable talking here, we can go. It was actually my first time coming back after that. This place is left empty but routinely cleaned and repaired if anything breaks." Mandala instead answered Dea but tried to make an offer to move.

Amadea shook her head quickly. "I'm comfortable talking anywhere. But if you're uncomfortable, we can go. A place is still just a place. And events will vanish with time."

Mandala then looked at Maya Dea and drowned in it.

Amadea now feels more comfortable talking to him. He was no longer wrongly called 'Father'. He is comfortable calling 'Mas', and even now calls the pronoun 'you' to Mandala as freely as if they were a real couple.

"Mama did that out of depression after my sister died. Do you remember the tomb? Yes, Marisa's my mother's favorite child. He died after being hit by a motorbike. It happened when I was a kid too. And he blames me for all this.

All my life I blamed myself. Some years with the mental condition of the mother who rose and fell, sometimes raging, sometimes want to make*nuhku, sometimes after hugging me while apologizing, sometimes, not infrequently after that he forgot and acted as if nothing had happened.

Dea, I think I became this hard because I grew up abnormally. Do you know now why I said don't love me? I am physically and mentally disabled. I can't manage my emotions when I'm angry because I may have received similar treatment from my mother before..."

Then for the first time, Amadea saw the stone-hard-hearted man shed tears with a sad face. If chosen, this is the most shameful expression of the Mandala Dea has ever seen firsthand.

When looking at Mandala for the first time after his hand was amputated it felt ordinary because the face of Mandala itself exuded an ordinary attitude. But this time another.

"Why did your mother hate you so much and turn you on for your sister's death? You weren't the one who hit him? You're not the one riding that bike, are you?" Amadea became confused by the incomplete story of this Mandala.

Mandala shook her head then rubbed her tears like she was holding back embarrassment. Dea's eyes capture the reflex movements of the Mandala's left shoulder that move. Maybe part of him still forgets that his left hand lives up to the elbow. The missing hand he could not use to wipe his tears.

"I'm not the one who hit, Dea. But little Marisa ran into the street because it followed me who was chasing the ball that was thrown into the street. Marisa saw me almost getting hit and trying to push me.

His innocent actions made him get hit badly while I was just a little scuffed by the rocks. Can you see my left temple? The stone that struck it caused a scar." Mandala continued.

"We played ball in our family's mountain villa. The villa is so beautiful. The grass is green, there are trees. But the location is right on the side of the road which is the only access to the area. And there was a sharp curve that made me not know if there was a speeding bike there.

The motor that hit is not an ordinary motorbike, but a trail bike. The area is indeed near the Motocross site of a regional community. How severe the impact to make Marisa died on the spot." Mandala looked down when she told about the traumatic incident.

Amadea who had some courage from nowhere, but he suddenly clasped Mandala's right hand and one of his hands again wiped the tears of the man whose casing looked so strong.

Oh, this is the fragile side of the Mandala... Amadea understands now. The mandala was more fragile than he had imagined. He was just a misstep because he built that fragility with a foundation of hatred. He has not made peace with the trauma, and that is understandable. Was difficult. Not everyone can be that strong.

"Rafael Malik who people misunderstood had a special relationship with me was there at the time of the incident. He knows I didn't push Marisa or do anything to hurt her. He's the only eyewitness besides the impactor.

Does my mom believe it? Yeah, he believes. But if Marisa's feelings of loss recur, she'll say that I'm pemb*nuh. I don't want that to happen. I blame myself even now." Mandala kept talking.

Amadea did not say a word but her gentle rubbing on Mandala's back implied everything. That he exists, he listens, and he tries to understand.

"I've been traumatized to see a dirt bike for years. Especially after my mom died. Papa who does not play a lot and tends to give up his hands because he is busy working says I am weak. He said men should not be weak.

After my mother died I was educated very hard. Too hard even to feel like my days are in hell. Papa's coercion to make me grow masculine, not crybaby or run away if tortured mama makes me this way.

You know I like extreme sports, right? Even the bike I hated used to be able to ride and control with the jocks on the extreme terrain. What do you think I've lost a hand like this? For hunting adrenaline.

Initially due to the compulsion of the father with extreme activities, I begged for an accident and just died. Papa really made me forget the trauma and conquer it. He thinks the effect is good. But yes you can see now I'm like this."

The story goes on. Indeed from one side only aka Mandala who continues to talk and Dea is silent. But Dea's sincere eyes made Mandala comfortable, as if to tell Mandala to keep talking to her.

"Why weren't you sad when your mom died?" Finally Dea asked after the last drop that came out of Mandala's eye he wiped.

Mandala shook her head then laughed with a bitter laugh.

Amadea was further confused by the unexpected Mandala reaction.

Why indeed? What is the secret story that Mandala actually hid through the laughter?

SERIATE...