Princess Rajapatni

Princess Rajapatni - Gayatri - 13

Princess Rajapatni - Gayatri - 13

I am Panji Asmarabangun, I, 

I'm looking for my heart. 

Through the forest and mountains.

To the bottom of the blue ocean.

My dreams at the time were very strange. I was in a hut. A prince came to doubt Gending Panji. All the residents of the hut rushed out. I'm the only one left inside. Encouraged by other residents.

“Where are you, Princess Candra Kirana?”

The sound of gamelan swirling in my head. It was so bi-sing that I cried hysterically. Instead of stopping, the voice grew louder and louder. This time mixed with the voices of gunfights and people who fought. The war repeated itself violently, jolting my mind until my memory felt so painful.

I screamed again as I felt my body being pushed around. My back touched something soft. I was about to open my eyes, but my head was dizzy. The heat is still on my left arm. My whole body is stiff. The lungs feel tight, trying hard to collect air.

“You had a bad dream, Princess.”

A few times, I blinked my eyes. At first it looks blurry. Then I saw a woman

sitting near me. The woman squeezed the cloth and stuck it on my forehead. His face was tiny, with sparkling eyes and a big nose. Her pan-jang hair is unraveling, pitch black. He's probably two-three years above me.

“Thank God you've been sober. Some days this de-mam you high once.”

“What happened? Who are you?” I coughed. When I tried to sit, my stomach was nauseated. The woman then smiled as she stroked my shoulder.

“I Nari Ratih's. Maybe the Princess is no longer mengue-nal me.” He showed off his white teeth. “I used to play Princess Galuh Candra Kirana.”

Candra Kirana's name jolts my memory. Remember - An will wars and refugees scatter in my head. Was it true that the one holding me back at that time was him?

“Kanda Sakka who saved you.” Ratih justifies my assumptions.

“Sakka saved me?” I said absentmindedly. “And you?”

“I am his wife.” Radih explained. “Do not worry. You are safe here, Princess.”

“Where is Yunda Pradnya?” My throat hurts when I force myself to talk. I coughed again. But really care is against me now. Ayahanda has died. I need to know the fate of my family.

“Tenace, Princess.” I pushed something into my mouth. “Drink your medicine.”

I refuse firmly. I don't want to live if my outside is gone. Why live without them? Where am I supposed to go? Where should I stay?

Tears flowed down the cheeks. I rubbed it with my fingertips. The rest of my tears flowed after that. The sadness of losing my family and my best friend-like lady-in-waiting is more painful than the feeling of losing the kingdom.

“Minum, Princess. You must recover.”

“I don't want to heal!” my mouth is stubborn. Ke-tika Ratih coaxed again, I screamed. Angrily, I brushed off the cup in Ratih's hand until it broke into pieces.

“Why don't you guys let me die?” I was crying so bitterly. I cried hysterically several times. Ratih budging, must be confused to see my behavior. I always clasped his hand.

Just a firm grip that stopped me. I was so shocked I forgot to cry. Sakka's face was seen in front of me. His blind eyes were covered with a mask. His scar stretched under the mask. I can't stand to see the look in his eyes. The remnants of good looks are still visible in the hair and shape of his face. But his smile had turned into a cruel grin.

“At that time, I also chose dead.” His words were cold, “but you begged Raden Wijaya. You made me live to endure this curse.”

“Sakka.. I ”.

“Then why do you want to die now, Princess? Are you too cowardly to feel the suffering of life?”

His words pierced my heart. I don't know how many people he's been through, I don't know at all. I don't even know, that begging forgiveness will bring him suffering.

“M-sorry ” My voice is vibrating. Without feeling, I t-t

isak's back. I shed tears while hugging my knees. I'm ashamed to show Sakka a face. He's correct. I'm too cowardly to face the reality of life. “Ratih, will you make another potion for

Gusti Princess?”

“Good, Kanda.”

The silence felt stifling. Patiently, Sakka waited for my crying to subside. Heran, the presence of Sakka actually dampened my hysteria. I don't scream and rage. Instead, several times I stole a pan-dang towards him.

“The good of your heart is what keeps people from hurting you. You know that, right?” Sakka. “You saved me once. The entire members of the plucking mask owe you their lives.”

“But, I—”

“Princess ” Sakka sneak my words, “Remember one

thing. Whatever happens, you have to stay alive.” “For what?”

Sakka turned her face away. Jakunnya.

I don't understand what he's thinking.

“Sakka, you live for Prabu Jayakatwang.” My spit feels bitter. “You have a handle. You have a purpose. Another with me.”

Sakka laughed out loud. “So so apparently.

I... have nothing left to endure.” I looked at him confused.

“Listen. You might feel like you don't have a handle. But there are those who hold on to you.” The sly series was again seen on Sakka's face. “You can choose. Survive for your followers. Or let them rot in jail.”

My eyes are wide. “What?”

Sakka looked at me amusedly. He didn't give much response. Even when Ratih brought back a new potion.

“Minum, Gusti Putri.” This time it was Sakka who ordered me. “Arise and fight for those who protect you. Don't let them make useless sacrifices.”