Pride of Love

Not Understanding Your Own Feelings

In the food court area, the three of them had ordered different foods and sat at a table that was slightly to the edge in the open area. Indeed the place is the choice of Yogi, because he will always look for smoking area.

Light jokes were heard several times between them, Vilda was the one who spoke the most and told stories because she was just like that, always crowded when talking plus the silliness of Yogi who like the idle chiming makes the atmosphere never quiet between them. Only Nadya is more silent, knowing she is the most mature age there, the current chatter of Vilda and Yogi often makes him less understanding of the conversation between Vilda and Yogi.

Vilda fell silent as she turned to an American pizza and pasta franchise restaurant not far from their seat. Andra, Amel and Firman seem to be sitting there.

Vilda still had not finished her lunch, Yogi and Nadya were also engrossed in eating so greedily that they did not talk much anymore.

Vilda could not let go of her gaze looking at the three people who were chatting and eating together.  Amel was seen sticking from Andra even both of them feeding each other when they eat. The jealousy was becoming more and more real in Vilda's heart.

"Any woman who is in the position of Amel today must be very happy, have a husband like Andra, a good and handsome man, must be very happy, in addition he is also very responsible and considerate and certainly rich!" that thought always filled his head. But actually he himself does not understand what he is feeling, whether he is harboring love for Andra or just limited to his admiration.

"Woy.. bengong aja Lo Vil, the food is not consumed!" The Yogi broke his reverie.

"If you don't want to eat let me finish!" Yogi took the fries from Vilda's plate and moved them to her plate. Vilda was silent and did not protest when Yogi finished all his food.

Seeing the intimacy of Andra and Amel just made his appetite disappear.

*****

"That's Vilda, why is she standing there?"

Andra had just gotten out of her office and was about to go home, but she immediately slowed down the speed of her car when she saw Vilda standing on the side of the road.

"Vilda...., what's going on in there?" Andra opened her car window and called out to Vilda who looked shocked as she called out to him.

"Andra?!..., who do I think?" Vilda did not think that Andra came to her because that day Andra used his old car.

"Gue wants to go home to Ndra, but just stopped by shopping first!" Vilda said she was holding some shopping bags in her hand at the time.

"Come with me!" Andra presses the unlock of her car door and offers to drive her home.

Vilda immediately nodded her head and not thinking much, she got straight into Andra's car.

"Lo use a different SUV today Ndra?, which SUV lo usually?" Vilda asked just a stale base. He knew that a sultan like Andra changing cars every day would be very common.

"Yes., this is my old car, more often I also wear this, which yesterday was my wedding anniversary gift car with Amel from my in-laws. I use it every once in a while to appreciate Papa Firman's gift!"  andra replied as she drove the car faster.

"Ohya Vil, please forgive Amel's attitude this afternoon!, Amel is like that, he is not easy to get along with people and he is also easy to get emotional!" Andra recalled the incident that afternoon when Amel looked very angry at Vilda.

"No matter what Ndra, anyways I'm the wrong one to enter your room without permission!" Vilda responded casually.

"You two are indeed a compatible couple, Amel is very beautiful and you are also very considerate of him, plus you have rich and generous in-laws! Honestly I envy your affection!" Vilda expressed her admiration.

"Ah lo too much Vil!" Andra.

"Lo's more comfortable living here now?" Andra stopped her car in the apartment's drop zone.

"Yes Ndra, thank you very much I have found a safer and more comfortable place to live like this, I promise I will work better and harder at your company so that in the future I can pay rent this place by myself without the help of lo again!" Vilda smiled happily considering the sincerity of Andra who had helped the apartment rent for her.

"Yes the same as Vil" Andra just smiled faintly in response.

"Lo didn't stop by Ndra?" Vilda asked again while releasing her seat belt.

"When Vil comes home, Amel will be waiting at home!"

Vilda got down from Andra's car, both waving as Andra's car moved out of the apartment.

Vilda was still standing at her original spot until Andra's car was out of sight, then she got into her apartment lobby and headed for the elevator.

Arriving at her apartment, Vilda put all the grocery bags she carried on the dining table and she went straight into her room and laid her body on the bed. His mind kept on going to Andra and he always smiled remembering all the goodness of Andra to him.

"Andra was very considerate, Amel was very lucky to get Andra as her husband. Ahh.. If only I had been Amel....?!" Vilda felt increasingly jealous of Amel's luck. Vilda took a deep breath in trying to understand what was stirring in her heart, what was the meaning of her jealousy towards Amel at that time? he himself could not understand what he was feeling.

"Am I starting to love Andra? Oh no, I can't think like that, Andra is already happy with his wife I don't want to be the third person in their relationship!"

"Surely this is not love, I only regret myself who is still alone at my age. I've failed so many times in relationships with men, maybe that's why I feel jealous!" The conflict always rained down on his mind.

Despite always smiling and being cheerful in front of everyone, in her heart Vilda harbored immense pain. Sick, fragile and disappointed. Someone he once loved so much left him just like that after he gave up everything.

"Actually my goal to return to Jakarta is to forget the playboy guy, even though I still love him!" Memories of his ex suddenly reappear in his memory.

"But why am I meeting Andra? He is the root of all this!, He who has taken my chastity!" For a moment Vilda felt very angry and regretful.

"But what am I sorry about now?" No... no! I never regretted any of it, I did it with Andra on the basis of liking, and I also left her at that time. I was late to find out that Andra was actually a rich man, at that time I only knew she was a very simple person, I just admired Andra's good looks." Vilda was increasingly clueless with her own way of thinking, the dilemma as if attacking her in tubes.

Lonely! Surely he is very lonely living alone when others already have a partner but he is still single himself.

Vilda got out of her bed, taking off all the clothes on her body. From behind the mirror image he looked at the shape of his beautiful body which is now without a thread attached there.

"Vilda Veronica....! you are so beautiful and sexy!" Vilda felt his round, tight chest with both hands then squeezed it slowly.

"But why are you so fragile just because of men? There are a thousand handsome, wealthy men who want you out there!" Vilda muttered to herself then smiled meaningfully.

Vilda stepped into the bathroom and picked up her scratch box and rubbed it all over her skin.

**Somebody think it's weird because Vilda undressed? Hahaha... it just wants to stretch!**