Paid Boyfriend Brother Ketos

49. God Freaking Damn It

Fionns

Fxck. Fxck. I knew that this question had swirled around in Kimaya's head from earlier, just after I made my confession. However, it still does not prepare me mentally to listen to it directly.

What kind of physical relationship has happened between me and Alda?

That sounds so ... I don't know, dirty, if Kimaya's innocent lips are uttering it.

All of a sudden I pulled my head away from the girl in front of me. Now it is my turn to avoid her eyes.

"Fionn. Look me in the eye. You were gonna do this, right? I mean, I asked you that same thing. So now you have to take responsibility. It's as clear as I am as what the physical relationship that you do is. It's as clear as I am to the point that there's no question running through my head as you just said."

****

Kimaya

Why do I suddenly feel sad when Fionn keeps his forehead away from my forehead? Why do I suddenly feel lost when Fionn's eyes are no longer staring straight into my eyes? Why do I suddenly feel sad when I really have no right to feel it?

No, no, no. This can't happen. I can't feel anything for this young man. He does everything with purpose. He does everything with consideration. He does everything because there is a reason. I don't know what his purpose and mission is to do this to me, and I can't let myself forget those things.

I can't let myself off guard.

I have to be strong.

The boundaries that existed before should not be obfuscated. I need to clarify that line again.

"Tell me, Fionn. It's the same with me."

The urge succeeded in making him pull the arm that had been lying on the sink on my right and left side. That urge managed to make him take a few steps back. He now brushed the wavy brown hair that looked so fine with his right fingers while his left hand was parked at the waist. He breathed a strong breath, not like before, before he brought me here.

The excitement that was seen on his face and body language really made me realize that I did not know Fionn in the slightest. The part of Fionn I know is just the part he wants to show me. The part of her that was shown to us—Dad, Mom, Miss Pik, and I— at home, was part of her role playing. That thought really opened my eyes. From there, and it was from the distance given by Fionn that I regained my strength.

I straightened the body I was leaning against the sink. With the power fully restored, I with the protection re-attached, I took one step towards him. "Ah, that's it, Fionn. Don't be too thoughtful. I don't really want to know either. I just ngetes lo doang really. Relax." I deliberately re-used the call lo and I who if remembered again have been some days we do not use. I guess I don't know why. "OK deh. Then I pull it off first, yeah. Bye." That way, I passed.

****

Fionns

I went to class after class, not knowing how long. And unfortunately my last class today was Pak Mulyono Bald's class. "Sorry, Sir. I'm late. I went to the bathroom after I finished my break." I reasoned when Mr. Mul directed his full gaze to me.

Although it has been two weeks to go home and go to his house, trying with all my might to try to make the middle-aged man I still speculate as Kimaya's adoptive father prefer me, but all the effort is wasted. The man still doubted my sincerity.

My instincts deserve a thumbs up. However, I must admit that compared to two weeks ago, what I felt for her daughter now has gradually begun to lean towards a cleaner direction. Not only do I care about my values and goals, but day by day the contact with Kimaya has grown one ... hal—gue still has not called what changed a feeling, more sincere than my original intentions. And yet, yes, he still won't give me his trust.

I headed to the back seat, the seat position that from the beginning of the lesson year we had mastered. In any class, me, Hamish, Aldi, and Mario will occupy the same position. Although the classes that we four took were not always the same, but this has become like an implied rule that has been known by all students of Taruna Nusantara.

****

Kimaya

Unlike usual, this time I did not pay much attention to the lessons that were being explained by Bu Ratih, our World History subject teacher. I was distracted by what had happened in the woman's toilet and how I felt right now. Not only my feelings were chaotic, but my body was as well. I don't know how I can forget the pain that struck my stomach during the encounter with Fionn earlier. However, after returning to class and no Fionn with any drama accompanying him as a distraction, the pain came again. This time with many times more strength.

Sialaaan. God, I'm really not strong.

However, I chose to put on a flat look, not showing the pain I felt to the people around. Kuremas strongly put the two fists I put on the thigh. Keep your teeth and lock your jaw so that no squealing can escape from there.

Yeah, God. Why does it hurt so much? Is the lesson time still long? When will this day end?

Yeah, God. Please, I beg you, I beg you. Can you make time pass quickly?

I continued to repeat the plea in my heart, hoping that when time rolled quickly, I could get out of here and enjoy this pain myself in the confinement of the walls of my room.

However, God seems to have misunderstood what I said. He really sped up time, but it was not the time to go home. I realized this when I finally felt something like pee outside and wet my school skirt.

Oh, naw!

****

Fionns

I don't know how long I've sat here and let my mind wander everywhere. I don't know how long I let the voice of Mr. Mul who is still explaining about the material of the possibility of compound events—gue know this because I read the title written in great detail by Mr. Mul on the board the top of— went into my right ear and did a U-turn without a stop in the brain. I don't know how long I've been wasting my time and not doing things that matter.

Until the kids in class simultaneously check their cell phones. I could even hear the buzzing sound of a mobile phone vibrating because it was happening almost simultaneously. Just like with my phone.

I suddenly pulled the offended object out of my pants pocket. Before looking at what made everyone's concentration break, I tried to read the situation first. The class was instantly filled with girly and restrained giggles from the male disciples.

Okay then's. I can conclude that something funny has happened. I opened a broadcast message that came from a mobile number that is usually used as a hotline for OSIS complaints.

What the fxck? Since when was this complaint number used to spread gossip?

This alone obviously fueled my anger. Not to mention the content that has made everyone laugh.

Oh, my fxcking God. I didn't know what I would see in the message. God freaking damn it!

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