Occasions

Occasions
CHAPTER 22 | You Who Are Then and Now



Ctaak!!


Reza flicked his finger, disperse my daydream quickly. “Thinking what, anyway?” he asked while occasionally looking at me while driving a car.


I blinked, trying to regain consciousness of the present I am living in. Looking at him and then throwing my eyes out the window, I hated it when he asked that question. “Neither,”I replied briefly.


The journey from home to the traditional market here only takes about ten minutes, if using a car like now. There is no traffic like in Jakarta. I immediately turned off the AC and opened the window, feeling the cool morning air.


The view here also looks more beautiful and beautiful. Unlike Jakarta which is filled with traffic jams. Green open space was as if it could not divert the annoyance due to the density of the highway there.


Far away I threw my gaze out the car window, watching the person who was still casually doing his morning activities. Some are jogging, cycling, sitting down to enjoy the environment, and many others. On average they look happy without the burden of life, without sadness and problems.


Yes, it is always what is seen from the outside, that is what people see with their eyes. Though everyone must have their own problems, with their own level of difficulty, according to ability.


So is the case with me, who is currently trying to calm my heart because sitting next to the man who a few months ago hurt this heart. Scratching wounds that will never be able to heal with just a word ‘maaf’.


Not long after we arrived, and it didn't take me long to get around in the traditional market, buying all the necessities written on the grocery list. Reza was following me, picking up all the groceries. We didn't discuss each other, I kept stepping in front of him and he kept behind me.


I just turned to him while giving one by one the groceries that were successfully purchased. Until finally he reprimanded me when this footstep headed out of the market. “Everything?” tanyakanya.


I just glanced, then nodded a few times. Then walk back to the parking lot. Actually I feel sorry, seeing his hands full of groceries, do not have the heart to see the look of his tired face.


Reza immediately opened the trunk to enter all the groceries, while I who did not know myself, went straight into his car, sat down to relax waiting for him to finish arranging the groceries in the trunk there.


“You want to eat first?” reza asked again, as soon as he had managed to sit behind the steering wheel, next to me.


“No, just go home. Meat should quickly enter the freezer.” I reasoned.


“Why are you, anyway? Ketus very same me?”


“I was like this from a long time ago,” I replied casually while looking straight ahead, without turning my head in the slightest.


His breath sounded so rough in my ears. “Sorry if I made it wrong,” he said.


“I don't need any apologies you used to want now. Because I should have known myself to destroy everything that grows wild, before being watered back.”


Why would I answer it like that? Doesn't that sound too sensitive? Then I need her to apologize, right? Damnit damnit!!


“I promise I won't make you hurt again,” said again.


“Not promise if it can not be kept. Why make a promise to me if only based on heart? Not God?” I looked at him briefly.


Our eyes met, which I quickly shifted. I still couldn't bear to look at him for long. No more words were spoken from his mouth, he was silent a thousand languages.


I too, shut my own mouth, for I felt that no matter what sentence I spoke to him, it must have sounded harsh to my own ears. Especially in his ears?


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