Ninth Month

Conscious

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Intan blinked his eyes, his head felt heavy and his eyes were reluctant to open, his feelings he always felt in an endless sleepiness. Every time he woke up from his sleep, there was only one question he always asked, "where is my baby? give me my baby?" Nurse nurse, or whoever is loyal next to her every waking Intan always says the same thing, "quiet, Mother. All is well" replied the man, injecting something into his hose of infection and before long the darkness enveloped him again. When it awakens this time Intan tries to stay calm and not directly ask questions. Intan will pretend to stay asleep.

"I feel something is wrong here," Inner Intan. As soon as she woke up this time, she wanted to open her eyes and question the nurse, but she felt the answer would remain the same so she waited in silence. With closed eyes Intan tried to observe the circumstances around.

Not how long Intan felt the arrival of someone who then sat beside his bed. Intan can't be sure if it's someone she knows or if only the nurse will treat her like she was yesterday.

Not how long his right hand was gently grasped by the figure. His hands felt big and soft. Could it be Rayan's hand, Intan's happy mind. He intended to open his eyes but a second later he undo it when the figure spoke, because he had memorized outside the head who was talking, his voice was not the voice of Mas Rayan, but the voice of Mas Eka.

"Intan, get well soon. Mas Eka misses you, forgive Mas Eka for being away from you at that time. Why did you have to go see Rayan? and you know Papa is very much against it. Why was it when I was away from you? excuse me, Mas," Mas Eka's handsome face drooped on the side of the bed, he cried.

Intan refrained from stroking her brother's head. There was a turmoil of opposition in him, if at that time Mas Eka did not tell Papa and Mama about him. Maybe this doesn't have to happen. Currently, not only parted with Rayan, Intan believes he has also lost his baby. How Intan wanted to shout loudly and blaspheme Mas Eka. But he did not dare to do it, because he was still waiting for the truth, especially what was revealed from the mouth of Mas Eka.

"Intan, Mas Eka's fault made you run from the hospital and because of Mas's mistake, you also have to lose your baby. Forgive me, Mas, Intan," I'm Mas Eka while not holding back tears.

Intan was stunned in silence, tears were melting out of her closed eye fertiliser. At first he believed the baby would be with Mas Rayan because Papa forbade them to be together. It's okay to lose her baby if the baby is with Mas Rayan. But, if you have to lose a baby forever, he is not willing, he is powerless, it seems he can no longer pretend not to cry. The twin babies that he guarded in such a way turned out to the end could not be saved. Then why else would he live, Lord, which happiness would be left to me if you took it all.

Intan was crying with her eyes closed. The loud cry was heartbreaking. Mas Eka who realized Intan was crying. He shouted at the guard nurse

"Suster, help! sister"

"Intan, get up," cried Mas Eka while shaking Intan's body. However, Intan is reluctant to open his eyes, diamond can only hope that all that happens is a dream, if at this time Intan opens his eyes, he can no longer accept the harsh reality that is blocking him.

"Mom, calm down Mom. What the hell happened just now?" ask the sister to Eka.

"I don't know, Intan was crying with her eyes closed and her crying became louder."

"Well, we try a sedative injection first so that the patient is stable again" said the nurse while injecting something on the infusion.

Not how long Intan's cries subsided and Intan fell asleep. Eka waited for her sister while wiping the remaining tears that wet her sister's eyes.

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A gentle breeze played the ends of Intan's long hair. The quiet atmosphere in the afternoon adds to the atmosphere, the fragrance of frangipani flowers carried by the wind, bringing tranquility to lost souls. He stood pensively staring at the navel of his heart, no tears, no sadness.

*reudy D. Hendrayan*

Intan sat on the side of the tomb.

"My son, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, If Mom was stronger, I would have saved you, I'm sorry" Intan finally couldn't help but pour out her feelings.

1 Month passed and he just had the opportunity to come visit his son. Is she worthy to be called mother? Intan kept silent for a long time next to his son's navel while spreading flowers and pouring water in a jug he carried.

"Rudy, your name is so beautiful, thank you for being a part of my life. Rudy D's. Hendrayan, diamond is mother's name, you carry father's and mother's names. Be happy even though you are ahead of your mother. Wait for me, honey."

It was already dusk when Intan decided to leave. There is a heavy feeling in him. But inevitably, Intan must step his feet also away.

Just a few steps, Intan suddenly stood still, unable to leave. He looked once more towards the navel of his heart. With a flash he returned to the bed with a firmer cry. But not the lament that came, he gave thanks.

"Thank you, God. Thanks you! How stupid! I didn't realize it early. Rudy, I just realized that your brother's alive."

The new diamond realized only one name was engraved on the navel, meaning the other baby was still alive. She was truly grateful in her tears.

"Rudy, I'm gonna get stronger and look for her. Rudy, I love you. Thank you for one of you staying alive for Mom. Receive my son. Thanksmeme it... Thanks, God. You gave me a reason to continue living. Thanks."

Intan did not know the end, which he knew Mas Eka had dragged him out of the burial area by force despite his extremely messy condition but a strong determination emanated from his face. He is determined to be stronger, must become more powerful in order to stand alone, he must be able to find Rayan and her baby.

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