LOVE OF JUITA

The Distance Between Us

If the house is usually a paradise, the most comfortable resting place. This time it all felt very different. The atmosphere in the house feels like hell to Julia.

The night was long and long. The sickening silence. Just sobbing Julia as a sign of there's life.

Julia hugged both knees. I don't know how many rolls of tissue are strewn on the floor. Between the tears he patted his own shoulders. Trying to strengthen yourself.

"Your spirit can get through this. The spirit!" Julia spoke for herself.

Julia picked up another piece of tissue, wiping away the dripping tears and the clear liquid that was clogging her nose. Although his chest tightened and still as much as he did he pulled the hair that fell on his forehead.

Julia got up to the makeup mirror. He stared at the pale thin figure in the mirror reflection. Swollen eyes, red nose, puffy face. Irregular messy hair. How sad that figure is.

A flash of an angry Septian shadow hit the wall and cornered him made his kink collapse again.

Her tears are spilling again. How soon love can turn into hate. He hated Septian who didn't even ask how he felt, how confused and confused he was with the sudden problem that hit him.

"How could you tell me to finish all this on my own. Where do I have to do it?" Julia sniffles.

He was angry at his life scenario. Why is the happiness in this marriage only for a moment. Is it not enough to be tested by losing a baby candidate?

"Mom .. Julia misses Mom. Mom please hug me."

He dropped to the bed, face down, buried his face in the pillow. He wrapped his body in a blanket, hoping that there would be no air in.

"Aaaaaaaaaaarrhhhhh!"

He screamed with all his might. Letting out all the anger through his congested lungs, he spewed out a form of despair within.

Julia continued to scream until all her energy drained away. With a sag she let go of the pillow that covered her face, the blanket that enveloped her.

"Astaghfirullah hal adziiim." Julia was silent.

"Yes Allah .. O Allah. Help me, embrace me when he leaves me. Give me strength when he makes me weak. Give me patience when the world is cruel to me, swiping my heart to the point of bleeding." Pinta Julia with a gasp of breath.

"What will happen to both of us. Can't you forgive my mistakes. Can't you care a little."

Her tears are melting again. Although he was very tired, he was not sure he could close his eyes tonight.

***

Jemari Septian moved around typing the codes on her laptop keyboard roughly. He channeled his anger by returning to work. Her brain boils every time she remembers Julia's mistake.

Septian continued to talk to himself. He's feeling really crazy tonight.

"A dead lizard in a cake? How can you fail. So tucked!"

"Even the TB sick employee you don't know? Whatever you're doing there Julia!"

"I told you there's no need to work hard to produce your own goods. Use the services of others to supply products. But you're crazy about your branding. You're crazy about your visionary ideas. But you yourself can't manage it!"

"Look at how your ambition is destroying you. Not only you, you ruined my family's good name."

"Losing hundreds of millions of dollars for a mistake is a pain. But for me it's no big deal. I can look for him again. It's not hard for me to collect money. But my family's reputation has been ruined, how are you going to give it back!"

"Adrrarghhh!" Septian closed his laptop hard.

He rose suddenly from the chair violently until the chair flipped over to hit the floor. Septian threw his body onto the carpet on the floor. His hands clenched tightly over his head.

His heart beat as if asking out of the chest cavity. It felt like he wanted to destroy something to channel all the negative energy accumulated in him.

"How am I supposed to forgive the mess you created Julia?" Septian Swishing.

Her instincts wanted to hug and immerse Julia's face in her chest. Inhaling the delicate scent of Julia's hair can be a sedative for her. But this time the heartache entrenched in his chest made him ignore.

"Keep crying if it helps you." Septian fingers caress the walls between rooms.

"It's much easier for us to stay away from each other for a moment. I'm not sure I can control my anger if it's around you. I'm afraid of physically hurting you, my money."

Septian closed his eyes imagining the happy days that had passed with Julia. Everything is so beautiful and sweet. Everything went according to what he expected.

"I have failed. I've hurt you. You failed to keep my trust. What should we do after this?"

"What do I have to do to fix everything?"

He tried to sleep, but it was all in vain. His agitated heart continued to wake up.

***

Right after the Azan reverberated Julia moved to perform her morning prayers. His head was throbbing pain from not sleeping at all. His body was also warming like a fever.

He wanted to wake up the Septian for dawn prayers. She saw the lights of the Septian workspace still on, she was sure her husband would not forget to do his duty. Julia knocked on that door. He let Septian put some distance to their relationship.

After the dawn prayer, Julia called Riska to pick her up at eight in the morning. He felt unable to drive alone to the store. Julia was determined to face this matter bravely.

Before leaving, Julia took the time to cook fried rice and eggs for breakfast. He placed a plate of fried rice and a cup of tea for the Septian under the hood.

Intentionally he prepared a thermos of hot milk coffee for caffeine intake so that blood flowed tightly to his brain, to eliminate sleepiness that whack due to not sleeping all night.

The risk came less than half an hour from the promised time. Julia only wears the instant robe and khimar of t-shirt material that extends to cover the hands. He covered the body with a jacket and rushed out. Not forgetting he was carrying a backpack.

Glanced at the Septian workspace that had extinguished the lights. Julia took a deep breath, she had to ask her husband for permission before stepping out of the house.

Tok tok!

Julia knocked on the door. Counted a few moments. There's no answer.

"Mas, I need permission to go to the store first. Don't forget breakfast." Julia.

"Speak to me, mad it's okay. I know it's my fault." Julia stammered.

The door of the Septian workspace remained closed, there was not the slightest sound as if without the occupants. Julia wiped away her tears. He felt better to go and give Septian time to be alone.

"Goddessa …. " Say Julia before she really leaves.

He deliberately stepped slowly, hoping that Septian would soften, willing to get out of his study. He hoped Septian would answer his greetings and allow him to kiss the back of his hand as usual.

For a minute and two, the door remained closed. Julia was so hurt and desperate. Had he not been at home with his in-laws, he would have been eager to hit the door, banging it. Forcing Septian to come out and confront directly.

Julia was still staring at the door that was blocking the two of them.

"If you open the door and talk to me. Then I'll forgive your rude behavior to me last night." Inner Julia.

"But if you keep the door shut until I'm gone. So I take that as a statement that I am not someone important to you. And .. I can do the same. Don't care about you anymore." Julia's mumbling is heavy.

Drrrrrt drrrrt!

Julia's phone is shaking. An incoming call from Riska, perhaps a reminder that she has been waiting downstairs long enough.

Julia knew she had to leave. He held his shoulder. With a firm step he went down the stairs.

"I really won't care about you anymore."