LOVE OF JUITA

Who Ever Stopped

During her life Julia had only been in contact with men three times. The first man was named Dani, a high school time friend. He is not first love, because according to Julia love is a deep word. Julia likes it because Dani is smart and polite. Dani no neko-neko, she's a good boyfriend to help her learn. 

Their relationship is like a monkey's love, a schoolboy's courtship. Meet only at school, which is discussed lightly. Every now and then they go out together to study groups, never going alone. They are always surrounded by friends.

Julia and Dani dated for three years. During High School only Dani is Julia's only boyfriend.

Their relationship was very comfortable, to the point that Julia could not without it. Julia thinks the days passed without Dani would have been very different.

Which he feared happened. After High School Dani studied out of town, at an Institute of Technology in Bandung. Dani promised that nothing would change.

Long distance relationships are not suitable for them. Dani is too busy and Julia is too demanding. Their relationship was difficult, serious conversations always led to debate. Dani can't stand Julia who he thinks is spoiled, must be told constantly.

Dani decided to pause for a moment from this relationship. Julia didn't expect much.

"The pause in the relationship for me is stop, stop. No need to continue anymore."

Obviously Julia was sad, losing an emotionally close person for three years. But, in Julia's heart was relieved. Difficult relationships, constant debates only make the soul tired. Julia was grateful it was over. Although it would be awkward without her, Julia believes this is best for both of them.

***

Haris is Julia's second boyfriend and senior at the college. Their relationship was short, not for a year. There are many incompatibilities between them. Maybe it was Julia who received Kak Haris without much consideration. Brother Haris comes when Julia just broke up, is in need of a friend to lean on.

Kak Haris is a gaul guy who is rame, splashy, likes to socialize, his friends are everywhere. Mall is like a second home, shopping branded clothes is a hobby. Haris is not at all stingy, he overflows Julia with gifts, new clothes and bags.

Kak Haris routinely transports Julia to campus in his maroon color box Karimun car. Every Sunday night, Julia ate at an expensive restaurant. Simply put, Brother Haris treats Julia like a princess.

But Julia is a simple woman who is not used to such a lifestyle. With Brother Haris, his achievements are down. How Julia wants to learn, if her days are up to go around the mall and just watch the cinema.

Haris is not the man Julia is looking for. Haris is not a man with mature thinking. In Julia's eyes, she just wanted to have fun. Julia has no idea where their relationship comes down to.

One day Julia asked for their relationship to end. Brother Haris is very angry, wrathful to be exact. He berated Julia who he thought did not know the lucky. Even Kak Haris mentioned all the gifts, as if Julia asked for it all.

Sister Haris makes Julia feel ashamed. With the disgust of Julia collecting her gift items, she packed them in cardboard boxes and sent to her home address.

After breaking up from Julia, Kak Haris's behavior became more and more. He behaves like a playboy, deliberately showing Julia that he can change girlfriends easily. Julia did not care, really she did not lose at all to break up with him.

Although her love story with Kak Haris ended bitterly, Julia felt grateful to be kept away from men like her. Luckily Julia followed the inner voice, not ignoring the uneasy and gloomy feeling in their relationship. Julia already knew her true nature. The process of moving on from Kak Haris goes so fast. Julia released.

***

Julia's third boyfriend is Mas Faqih, a student who is studying English Education. Julia had known him since Mas Faqih was still her senior brother when she became an assistant lecturer. Mas Faqih is a charismatic, courteous, intelligent and charming man. Her calm and mature carving made Julia fall in love.

At that time, Julia did not expect Mas Faqih to also put her heart into it. Because there are still many other students who are more beautiful and intelligent. Mas Faqih said, when he taught, only Julia paid close attention to him. Julia is not like other students who underestimate her just because she is an assistant lecturer. Mas Faqih felt appreciated.

Mas Faqih likes to share knowledge, does not hesitate to help Julia find sources of referrals and books to do the task. Mas Faqih suggested Julia eager to go to college, looking for LPDP scholarships abroad after graduating from college later. Mas Faqih opened Julia's eyes to this vast world. Julia had to step up to see a new region, a new culture, to get her mind open.

Mas Faqih is the only girlfriend Julia introduced to Mom. Julia was really serious and steady at him. In his eyes Mas Faqih was a material husband. Mas Faqih's status as an S2 student makes Mother proud.

On graduation day Mas Faqih came carrying a chocolate bar and a large bouquet of flowers. Greeting and greeting Mom and sister. Mas Faqih really blend in, as if steadily want to be part of the Julia family.

Later that night Mas Faqih invited Julia to dinner together to celebrate graduation. Julia feels this is the right time to make sure to take where this relationship has been established.

"Mas, I've graduated. Already accepted work as well, what is the plan for the continuation of our relationship?" Ask Julia steady.

"I want you like me to continue higher school. Seek knowledge, experience, build relationships and more established careers." Answer Mas Faqih without hesitation.

"Yes I know, there is nothing wrong with education. But that's not my priority right now. My priority now is to find money to help Mom. Besides, I'm not interested in going to college anymore .. " said Julia lirih.

"Hmmmm .… " Mas Faqih let out a heavy breath. 

"My dream is simple, I want to be a teacher and get married soon. I'm ready to be a supporter. I'm very supportive of Mas going forward" Julia asserted.

"But I'm not ready to deck, if I have to commit as soon as possible ." he replied.

"There's no need to hurry up Mas, I'd like to wait until the thesis is in order!" Julia was insistent with her opinion.

"Yes, but Mas also has other ideals. I want to pursue a doctoral scholarship first. If it goes well, the doctorate will take about four years to complete."

"Then I how did Mas ?" julia said.

"If you're ready to wait Mas will surely marry you deck. I want to succeed first, honestly Mas is not the type of person who can divide concentration. If you focus on school, then go to school first. About getting married and other things we've been thinking about lately!" Rigorously.

Mas Faqih's reply left Julia confused. If Mas Faqih is serious about their relationship, he should choose the option of getting married first while continuing college. This is not impossible because the average lecturer took S3 lectures when they were married. Outline, Julia and marriage are not priorities for Mas Faqih.

The atmosphere of the dinner was bland, they went home without speaking a word. As if immersed in the vortex of each other's minds.

Julia is a woman, she needs reassurance. While currently Mas Faqih only gave one choice, waiting. I don't know until when.

That night Julia had difficulty sleeping, she was intermittently awake. Julia chose tahajud prayer which continued with istikharah so that her heart was calm. Julia asks Allah the Almighty for guidance so that she is given the steadfastness to choose the best for her life.

Julia was drowning in prayer crying to her satisfaction.

"I've realized that the source of the nestapa is in my heart because I'm pinning hope on others."

With tears streaming down Julia took off Mas Faqih. He won't wait. Julia will seek happiness on her own path. Julia believes if they are indeed a match God will unite them in an easy way. If it is not meant to be together, Julia's heart is sincere because she has no hope for him anymore.

The next day with a round heart Julia sent an SMS to Mas Faqih. He made a decision. He could not wait, along with prayers that Mas Faqih be facilitated in achieving his goals.

For days Julia did not get a reply

Julia believes her love story is over.