Lord.. Whatwoulder??

Sarah Flashback #7

After my father died, my mother had to leave me..

"Sar" said Fatimah

"Sister I'm not strong like this keep brother, I want to die alone" I said while crying tears

"Astagfirullah Sar, Istighfar is not good to say that"

"After Father now Mother has to leave me Brother"

Brother Fatimah just fell silent while continuing to stroke my back elus.

"Sister, Aliff doesn't know about this"

"Aliff told me your father died, he didn't know about your pregnancy and your mother died"

"I don't want Aliff to know, Brother"

"Why do you have to hide this from Aliff Sar"

"I.. I'm afraid Brother"

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid Aliff will stay away from me" I said slowly, looking down

"Aliff's not like that Sar, trust the same brother"

"But.. Sis, I still don't want Aliff to know"

"Then how should you tell me about your whereabouts here?"

"Don't tell Aliff Kak, don't ever tell him that I'm here"

"But.. Sar"

Fatimah just nodded slowly..

After Brother Fatimah came home, I was alone here, the shadow of Mom and Dad continued to haunt my life, I had to live with this child, the child I did not want at all.

"Why do you have to be present and ruin my life" I muttered while hitting my stomach.

"You shouldn't be present in my stomach" I said, crying

"No Sar, this baby is not wrong you and Jeff Sar, you are the sinner Sar, you are the despicable, you are the great sinner Sar, what difference do you have with prostitution*r Sar, what difference do you have with prostitution, you gave up your honor for nothing but and now you're pregnant, look at you Sar how despicable you are Sarah" I murmured while looking at myself in the glass

"This baby is the only family I have that Mom and Dad have left me, left me with a burden that I have to bear alone, pregnant out of wedlock, and gone out of wedlock, the man who doesn't want to be responsible, your once-living garbage Sar"

I chattered in front of the mirror, looking bad at myself, how unfortunate my fate was..

All I have given to the man, but all I have is the humiliation of him and his family.

How foolish I was to be deceived in his persuasion and seduction, all his sweet words really made me fall asleep and lulled, until without me realizing I had fallen too far into the bottom of the abyss, without me knowing how to get back..

Both my parents are now victims of my mistakes, I have to endure the shame of my entire life, bathed in despicable sin.

Wouldn't it be better to be a woman at night.. Would it be my sin if I thought so?

I know the sin of an adulterer like myself, is it not proper that I be called the scum of society.

Can I turn back the time, when I did not know the jerk, where I never gave my honor to him, I regret that only that word can I say, I'm so sorry..

Now my life is alone, accompanied by the little baby who is still in my stomach, should I hate him, or should I love him

Because this baby ruined my life, I had to lose my parents.

Nope.. Not because of this baby, but because of my stupidity, because of my mistakes, this baby is not wrong, nor sinful, I am wrong and sinful.