Just a little break

Sad Shows From Dreams (Part 1)

My name is Beyazid Ahmad. There are three big things this year that I want to make happen. First I want to get a job first after college, while waiting for the selection to become a professional footballer at Juventus.

Second, I want to be a professional footballer at a foreign club, especially in Italy. I've dreamed of playing for my beloved club, Juventus. Then at this moment my dream is almost realized, because there is a selection of scouts from Juventus who see my football playing talent. I did not expect, an Indonesian like me could get the opportunity to participate in the selection at a big club like Juventus.

If I pass later, I will use Ahmad's name as my jersey name. My third dream is. Getting love from the girl I want, Risa's name. Only she's a woman who can make me take my attention away from my world a little.

Those are all my hopes and dreams that I want to make happen this year. I hope everything is in the right place according to my wishes. I know it takes extra hard work to make that happen. Next, not even the first month is completed, I have got a job at one of the medium-sized private companies in Jakarta.

It was good enough to fill my time and wallet. After all, what I'm running is only temporary because my main dream is to become a famous and great professional footballer. There have been about five months I worked in this office, the days I lived were very boring.

It was like being in prison, all the deeds I did well and right were always considered wrong. I also feel that my freedom is constrained here, their work ethic in this office, is completely different from mine. I want to get out of this cage quickly.

Haafhhh, but how else. This is where I can earn money and fill the time before achieving my second and third dreams of the Year. Both of my parents were just ordinary printing employees who were quite old and sickly.

I don't want to overload them with my desires anymore. This is also one of my dreams. I have to live and thank him because God has granted one of my dreams that I asked for with all my weaknesses and sanity in living this life.

For a long time also I was waiting for the selection of the city of Turin, it was almost the fifth month this year. I started to get anxious and not calm. Afraid my dreams won't come true. Not because it is too ambitious or impatient, it can indeed be said to be one of them.

But what I want most is to show the world that I exist and that I am great. That's what I want, confession. Acknowledgement that I exist and am capable. Showing to those who are arrogant and consider me weak, incompetent, slow, less sociable and shy.

Show them that I exist and they deserve to be proud. In other respects they can underestimate me, but not in football. Because it was my dream. My heart feels the serenity in the midst of this increasingly chaotic world when playing football.

In the waiting period fortunately I was always accompanied by people I love, but unfortunately he was already the girlfriend he loved so much anyway. I can't do anything about it. It even crossed my mind, if my dream of becoming a professional footballer at Juventus came true.

I can get a more beautiful and kind girl like her and turn away from her. We both often told him about our dreams and ideals in the future, he was the fourth person to know about my dreams after both my parents and my brother. I really like it when he tells me about his fragile family situation, he often tells me when his Father and Mother quarrel and often say divorce from both.

I also just found out that he was looking for calm in the wrong way, he likes to run to hard drinks with his friends when he is having difficult times. When she told me all about it, I felt like she really needed me and thought I was there and important to her. I'm very happy with that, even though on one hand I'm worried about the situation.

Worry, fear of bad things happening to him. I guess my life has been hard. Born into a simple family and raised with a hard life. But it turns out that the lives of others who look happy and rich also have problems, arguably even more difficult than what I experienced.

Yes, problems are indeed friends of life, if there are no problems it means that humans are not alive. On the other hand, what I did not like most about Risa's story was when she told me happily and laughed about her boyfriend. She is in love with her boyfriend, and even aspires to build a family.

Although there are many office people who make fun of me. I stick to my conviction and belief that someday I will be a great man. I followed the selection, the selection was held directly at Gelora Bung Karno Main Stadium.

The selection is done quite closed from the media crew, maybe this is done to focus the participants to bring out their best abilities. Not to miss being present as a judge of this selection, the living legend of Juventus, Pavel Nedved. Selection is done with several stages.

First physical tests include running, push-ups and sit-ups. Then the second is a personality test, to measure the level of stress and emotional stress, and the last is a counter-test. Here it is divided into two teams namely, red and blue teams.

I'm divided into the red team, one of my favorite colors. I wish you luck. I also got the chance to start in this red team with my favorite position as an attacking midfielder.

Almost the entire day I did this selection along with twenty-five other people. In the final selection my red team won with a 4-1 lead over the blue team, I also scored 2 goals and 1 assist for my team's victory. All my team mates are glad I'm on a team with them.

I noticed from a distance also the scouts from Juventus were fascinated by my game. At 16:00 this selection was completed, the results will be notified about four months from the day this selection was made. I swear, long time.

That means I have to wait again and live the routine at my workplace again. The next day, many of my office friends asked about the selection, or rather mocked. I could only be silent and hold back from the fact that there were still many people who doubted my abilities.

Though they have also seen me several times playing ball processing the round skin. Is it because of my overly kind, friendly and shy nature. So they doubt my abilities.

Even one of my superiors had time to nag me in a cynical tone that if you are too good in Jakarta especially in the work environment, then you will be trampled by others. Hearing that statement, I thought. If this goodness of my heart is not accepted here, I will take this goodness of my heart to another place where it can still be received.

The place I dreamed of, and the destination was Turin City, Juventus. Apparently, waiting for it is good too. A lot of fun things happened in those days waiting for me to become a football star.

One is the news that Risa and her boyfriend have broken up. I don't know the cause and I don't care about it, the important thing is they broke up. Wicked Sii, but how else, that's what I always expected.

I took her out to dinner on Saturday, June 30, she said yes. I was so happy that I was confused as to what to do. It just so happened that Saturday I had a holiday, so I could keep my promise to him. It was a holiday by the rules on Saturday, but my boss often asked me to come to work.

So I forgot a little bit about my social life. I took him to one of the malls in Depok area. That night she looked beautiful, graceful. With a pink collar shirt that forms every curve of her beautiful body is visible, her face and skin are pure white.

Adding to the beautiful impression of God's creation of this one. I am so grateful to the God who created, brought me together and made me his friend. Then I will truly thank God if I make him my lover, my third dream of the Year.