Is There Another Love in Your Heart?

Recognition

❤❤

The sun is high in the sky. The streets in the new city as an industrial area are so stinging. I'm driving the bike to the boarding house. Then throw this body on the bed. I was silent for a moment. Trying to understand the feelings in the heart. Without tears to wet the cheeks. There is happiness as well as fear that binds.

Then I took a pen and a pink diary, that's where I rubbed all the feelings in the middle of nowhere.

It doesn't feel like three months of my marriage. That means two months and a half Zulfan left me. There is no news at all. I bite my lips disappointed. I don't know what he's doing out there. Smile Satisfied to have lied to this innocent girl.

Suddenly I was ready to meet the judge. Why I just thought. Who knows, he might give us a way out.

After school I intend to go to the house of Ms. Aisyah, my neighbor.

“Tumben Ma'am Saida. How are you?”

“Alhamdulillah Bu Aisyah's. I'm fine.”

Then I told Ms. Aisyah, if I wanted to meet with the Judge. But I didn't tell you about the incident I experienced. Bu Aisyah said that Ustadz Hakim was accompanying Umrroh pilgrims. His busy life as a Muthowif required him to temporarily live in Mecca and Medina. I swallowed the saliva. Ustadz Hakim was the only person I expected to help me. It was he who introduced me to Zulfan.Maybe the path should be like this.

There was no choice but to forget everything about him. All roads are dead ends. If I remember what happened to me. This heart is so fragile. Really can't afford.

I felt satisfied that I could throw away all the memories of him. Even a wedding ring weighing five grams I have donated to the mosque. Now there is no more thing that has anything to do with him. Although sometimes the shadow still occasionally sneak. Especially at night. When these eyes are awake. How to truly forget you.

A message came in from my salary. Hilmanis. This guy is like an oasis. Returns the crying to a beautiful smile. Growing a spirit that was once gone. I always feel happy reading every message. Enjoying all his attention. The status is clear. The one-child widower. My status hanging is unclear. While I was undergoing an unclear form of relationship. Or let it all go like this. Holding the feeling in silence. Honestly, I'm afraid, because actually this heart is very fragile.

I'm a grown woman. All of Hilman's attention, the gifts he gave me was certainly not something ordinary. Again, I cannot refuse. He was a fighter without giving up. I realize this has consequences. We were both hurt in the end.

Hilman's presence gave me a new color. I am more excited about living life. I realized it shouldn't be like this. It'swrong. I'm a normal human being trying to live a life scenario. Does that mean I blame fate.

Many times Hilman invited me to meet. But I can always refuse firmly. He's not angry. He is proud because there are not many women like me. And his praise made a hover.

For Zaura. Here's door. His daughter is everything. According to Hilman, the little girl also often told me about me. I want to be with him more. He misses the figure of a mother. Hilman is just a father who wants to see his son happy. I thought silently about his confession.

One morning he called me via whatsapp. Invite to meet. There is something very important to say. This time half-collapse. Begging me to want, while putting the hand emotion down. The place is free wherever it is up to me. Finally after weighing for a day last night, I gave him an answer. We met somewhere culinary after I got home from school. No more than fifteen minutes. Hilman agrees.

I was really heavy and scared. Wh why? This heart is always stirring. Often near him there is always dust in the chest. I also know how she feels about me. Although at first he said it was for Zaura's sake. But the look in his eyes could not lie. He hoped for more. The feeling isn't playful maybe even bigger than I feel. Moreover, his status was clear. Singles. Me and Hilman are ordinary people. Who can guarantee we are able to keep each other's feelings. There is fear when this defense of faith breaks down.

By three I had reached the place where we had agreed. Hilman was waiting there. Knowing my presence he stood up. I dare not look him in the eye. He let me sit in front of him. A waitress approached us.

“Orange juice's. The ice is a little.

Ohya without sugar.” Hilman smiled. Then he ordered a drink too. Capucinos. The black-clothed waiter recorded our order.

“Eat? ask the waiter.

“Sorry I drink only.”I replied to the waiter. Hilman ordered food to be wrapped.

While waiting for the order to come, I waited for what to tell me.

“Why are you so tense, Bun?” tanyakanya.

Since a month ago, Hilman hasn't called me Mom again, like he used to. At first it was a bit difficult to be called mother. Rather than being called dik.it reminded me of Zulfan. Only he can call me that. Or want to be called mama.ah what the fuck he is. I showed an angry expression as he sent a message and called me mama. After that, he did not dare to talk. And, this heart always trembles to be called that way. It feels closer.

“Please see what you have to say! We don't have much time.”

“Can't you not call me father anymore, Bun.” I smiled a little. Don't ask her nervously.

“Iya papanya Zaura,” I replied briefly while throwing away the view. I don't want to give her a chance to tease me. I have to take care of a heart that is already starting to be noisy.

“Good Zaura. Can't you just relax a little bit. If you talk see the face of the donk. Cook it.” Hilman looked at me.

“Eit.” Hilman tried to arrest me. He took a breath. His face always seemed to be smiling. And that makes me very comfortable.

“Bun.I'm sure you already know how I feel. I want to be serious and immediately ascertain our relationship. I'm not alone. So all my decisions also took into consideration Zaura's feelings. My daughter likes you a lot. That's what makes me choose you.”

Like a sledgehammer in the chest. This is what I fear the most. Somehow and from where I explained it to him. I was silent while my eyes were foggy.

A few moments the grains also shed wet the cheeks. Ku sobbed. Hilman looked at me full of haru and question marks.

“Can you tell me. Whatever. I'm ready to listen.” Hilman's words were stuck. I looked up to find the strength to open my voice.

I began to tell him. The tragic fate of my marriage. From the beginning of my arranged marriage until Zulfan left me after two weeks of our marriage. His departure left no message. I sobbed between the slowly flowing lines of the sentence. I also told him that even though we were married but I still had never interfered. Hilman. I soon realized that I was telling too much. Even for something very personal. Right, I can't control my emotions. That's what I'm most afraid of. All this time I could close it. Even my parents know nothing. However, at last this man before me knew everything.I soon realized my mistake. I should have been able to control this speech.

“Sorry I was wrong. I shouldn't have told you this. Forget all these things. Let me go home.”

I immediately stood up to the bag I had placed on the table. Hilman got in the way by holding my hand. I quickly clapped his hand.

“Do not touch-touch me.” Hilman glanced at me. Pulling his outstretched hand.

“Sorry..Then sit down. It's not fair you've told me everything, then just leave without you listening to my view.”

I sat in my original position with my face down. Hilman gave me tissue. I accepted it and rubbed my wet eyes and cheeks. A moment of silence accompanied us. Hilman sipped a little capucino.

“Sorry in my opinion, he has already menzholimu. I shouldn't be a husband like that. I don't know any reason. Have you ever tried to contact her family? To ensure its existence.”

I shook weakly.

“What's your next plan. There is no reason to wait for something uncertain. Don't worry I'll accompany you whenever you need.”

“Thanks for empathizing. But I don't want to talk about that right now. Sorry I said goodbye. It's been fifteen minutes we met.”

“Alright then. We'll meet again to solve your problem. Wait a sec. I'm going to the cashier first.”

A few minutes later Hilman brought a parcel of food.

“Make a meal at home.” He gave me the food.

“Sorry it doesn't need to be like this. Just make Zaura,” I replied.

“This is what makes Zaura.” Hilman showed me one more piece in his hand.

“I'll take you home.” Hilman said.

“No need. I brought a motor. I can go home by myself.”

“I know. I was just watching you from behind. I just want to make sure you get home safely.”

“Not necessary. I beg you,” my door.

“Already. Don't argue. Ayoo!” hilman said firmly.

This time I did it. There's real concern. If he takes me, he automatically knows where my hostel will be. All this time, I never told him, even though he asked for it many times. Duh how is this. Hilman followed me behind. We're heading for the parking lot.

Although there are regrets to have told me about my problems, but at least I have been honest about my status. And that makes me relieved. It's up to him how. Accept it with such conditions or leave. No problem for me. I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone either.

❤❤❤

seriated