Is There Another Love in Your Heart?
Crown for My Husband
❤❤❤
My head still feels heavy. I slowly opened my eyelids. Trying to remember what happened. Why am I here. Whose room is this? Questions filled my brain.
Between conscious and not. I try to circulate the view around the room.
“Mas Zulfan...!”
I'm aghast. It's really like a dream. His dark eyes are staring at me.
"You're conscious, brother?" sapana.
I still look at him barely blinking. It was almost unbelievable to see her figure beside me while the scent of eucalyptus oil was oozing. My head still feels heavy. My surroundings feel spinning. Looks like my vertigoku is crumbling again.
Zulfan brought his face closer. Our distance is so close. Just a few centi. Until the breath from his nose warmed up in my face.
“Still dizzy, huh?” Zulfan rubbed my head. Gives a kiss on the forehead. Wet eyes. He rubbed the corner of my eye with his fingertips.
I'm nodding. My eyes are still closed withstanding the dizziness. Unable to open his eyes.
“Tok..tok. tok.”
Door knocked. The sound of footsteps approaching. Apparently my mother-in-law. He asked my condition to Zulfan.
"Aware?”
“Sampun Ma'am. Vertigonya rumat. ”answered Zulfan.
“It's warm tea. Later minimized. If it's okay to take him to eat." said my mother-in-law.
“Nggeh Ma. Let's rest first. Just realized it."
“Ya already, Mom stay first.”
“Nggeh.”
"Drink huh, Brother?" whispers softly in my ears.
I opened my eyes slowly. Zulfan helped me sit on the couch. He stuck my body with a pillow. Then bring the glass closer to my mouth. I snuffed the sweet warm tea that my mother-in-law gave me.
"Spend, donk!"
"Enough!" I shook my head slowly.
"Eat ya!, I'll get it. Why are you so skinny?” I smiled wryly.
“Let's go. Mas isn't hungry yet. What time is it. I have not prayed dzuhur.”
“Iya pray first gih. It's been half two.”
I was about to get up, but my head was dizzy. My front wall is like a rocking. I closed my eyes immediately.
“You carried?”
“Ihh what the hell, Mas! I pinched Zulfan's arm. He grimaced and held my hand.
“Then that's tayamum yes. Pray while sitting. I don't want you to why”
“Heem.” I'm throttling.
Selesei prayers dhuzur I'm still lying down. My laughter trembled many times. His position is in the bag. While getting out of bed, his head was still turning. Zulfan pamph out for a bit. To buy medicine at the pharmacy.
About an hour later he came back.
“After a time, Mas.”
“Kangen yes, darling! Zulfan kisses my forehead.”
Buy your medicine and vitamins. Let's eat it out first taken the medicine.”
“I don't want to take medicine. Later made to sleep healed by himself. Regularly gini.”
“Do not recline. If you do not take medicine, take long. Later night should heal.” Whisper in my ear.
“You eat here or outside.”
“It looks like I ate in my room. Make way still nggliyeng.”
“Wait here. Go get me something to eat.”
“Still mas. Sorry to bother.”
Not long after that Zulfan had brought a plate of rice complete with his side dish.
“A lot of people took it. I did not end that way, later mubadzir you know.”
“If it does not run out, Mas who finished it later. Let's open his mouth.”
“Make. I can eat by myself.”
“But mas like if you are spoiled.” I had to obey.
Not long after, Fais and Lisa went into a room where the door was not closed. Lisa is Fais' wife.
“Hmm romantic.” Fais seduces us. My face immediately blushed. Lisa nudged her husband's arm.
“This is not how much.” Zulfan.
“Still warming up Yes Mas.”
Two men in front of me were dragging. Zulfan glanced at me who seemed uncomfortable with such a play. Zulfan reminded Fais to talk to the others.
Lisa asked about my condition. Fais and Zulfan chatted about their affairs. Not long after that the couple agreed to continue the activity. I just spent a few spoons. Because the stomach feels nauseous and lazy to eat. Zulfan devours the leftovers in the dish.
Then Zulfan sat down beside me. Put my head on his lap.
“Mas..! Fais told me everything. Why do you do it like this. Why not be frank from the beginning? Why did he disappear without news? Do you think I'm that cute? How could I leave me that long. While I've almost been like a madman.”
I sobbed.
“Sorry. Because I don't want to see you sad. You want to forgive mas.” Misty Zulfan eyes.
“But what you did made me sad and disappointed.”
“Does anyone dare bother you as long as you are not near you?” I was surprised by Zulfan's question. Skept not warting.
“Why silence.”
I hope Zulfan doesn't have any thoughts. And fear began to wander this heart.
Iris we met so close. Our hearts are racing irregularly. In the end, I was only able to close my eyes.
***
The melodious chant of adzan maghrib has not long reverberated. Thank God my belly has diminished. I try to sit down. Thankfully, it no longer rotates like that. I put my feet out of the room for ablution. Zulfan pamphit for prayer to the mosque.
The condition of the house. Fais' parents and mother-in-law were having some business out visiting the brothers from afternoon. So did Fais and his wife with their respective affairs.
From the Zulfan mosque immediately followed to the room. I just finishedi wiridan and folded mukena.
“Mas, I can go home yes. This is so hot keep going. I didn't bring a change of clothes and a daleman. Cook sleep wear keki.”
“Do not go home. Go to the dress shop. Need anything?”
“Iya Mas.” I gave a note of some of my needs. Then give it to him.
“If tomorrow is not papa huh, Mas?” I'm sulking.
“It's not so, Mas. Plans tomorrow to move the boarding house. My mother asked me to go back home. I'm sorry I told my real parents. They keep asking you questions because they were never seen when I came home. At first I could cover. But I can't lie anymore.”
“Let's Mas explain to Mom and Dad. Go out first. If bosen in the room can go to the middle room watching tv.”
“Negak mas. I'm used to being gini. At home also rarely watch tv.”
I was deeply moved by my husband's humility. I don't think I deserve this kind of kindness. There were many regrets that suddenly loomed over him. All this time I've been so bad at him. The thing I regret the most is to have confided in Hilman at that time. Tell me something I should've shut up. Since then he has been eager to get my love. How careless I am. Satan has blinded the eyes of the heart. So that I enjoy all the attention that is clearly forbidden in religion. Luckily I never talked about how I felt about her. He always starts. Never a physical touch. As much as possible I take care of myself. Although honest from the bottom of the heart, has grown the seeds of love that should not exist. How would Hilman feel if he knew I was coming back to my husband.
What if one day Zulfan knew that his wife had once held a love for another man who was not himself? I am interested in heart.
O Lord, forgive my sins.
Since yesterday I did not dare to open the phone. Although actually my hands are itchy. Must have been a lot of important messages coming in. Especially from Hilman. He must be upset. The condition of the house is empty. I finally turned on the Cape. Opens the green phone icon. Oops! Over a thousand messages came in. From school groups, study groups and several other groups. There were over a hundred messages from Hilman. In Zaura's written contact. My heart ripples. Open what no yes. Then I checked again there were over twenty missed calls from Hilman.
I told myself to open a chat from Hilman.
[Bun..what else?]
[I don't answer that]
[You don't lift, you don't go to your boarding house]
[Bun ..I'm in front of your hostel. Where are the cover, where are you?]
.
.
[On the phone not picked up, busy yes.].
.
.
[Yuk, culinary. Sama Zaura too. He just wants you to keep. Kangen said]
[This is what it feels like to miss. Which I don't feel. Kasian de gw]
[If maghrib doesn't answer, I go straight to your house. Let me sleep with you]
.
.
The deg! I don't read them all. It means that it is currently heading to my house. I'm confused what to answer. My hands were shaking because I was nervous. I need to answer right away.
[Waalaikum salam wr.wb. Sorry to hear that in the bag just opened. There's more outside business..
I haven't finished my message yet, the sound of the door opening. Zulfan has entered with a white creche bag. I was so shocked to see his sudden arrival, that my phone dropped.
“Mas ngagetin only.”
I picked up a hape on the floor. Hand trembling. Fortunately Zulfan was not so attentive. I immediately put the e-cigarette into the bag. Then open up Zulfan groceries. There's a nightgown, a robe, a hijab and some daleman.
“Let's wear that nightgown yes.” I looked at its open shape. Zulfan grinned at me.
“Now change your keki shirt with that robe first.”
“Iya, Mas. But if the daleman has not been washed I do not want to use.”
“Use my CD only. There is a small one that I have not used.”
Again I rebuked Zulfan's proposal. But rather than not changing, I'm reckoning.
“Sana mas out. I'm changing clothes.”
“Neg. I am your husband. Cook can't see”
“Ihh what the hell.if so I want to change in the bathroom only.” Zulfan held me back and began to smile meaningfully. Along with that the sound of people from outside entering the house. Zulfan scratched his head and exited the room. I smiled triumphantly.
Just now I was about to open the phone to continue the one earlier. A new message came in from Hilman.
[I've reached your house. This is talking to my mom and dad. They don't know where you are, he said]
[Hmm mebek emotion and heart image]
A few seconds later Hilman contacted me via VC. I stammered immediately. My chest's up and down. At the same time Zulfan's voice called out.
“Dik! Come eat.” Spontaneously I threw a hape into the bag. I haven't had time to turn it off.
“Iya Mas I out.”
“You're pale as a frightened person.” Zulfan touched my cheek. They're already waiting at the dinner table.” I followed Zulfan's steps. My mind is still very messed up. But I smiled at them.
After eating, I helped Lisa pack dirty dishes into the kitchen and wash them.
“Mbak rest only. Genengan looks pale it.” Said Lisa.
“Sir papa, Lis. Cappek just overslept.”
After that we all gathered in the middle room. Talk while watching the news about covid 19 that hit the city of Wuhan in China. No time has shown at nine. One by one they decided to take a break. Now it's me and Zulfan in front of the tv. Zulfan whispered to my room. Seeing this heart gelagatnya deg degan.
I sat down on the edge of the bed feeling ungodly. Still thinking about Hilman's phone. While Zulfan asks permission to go to the bathroom first. I caught up with him later. I used to clean myself and then wash before going to bed. Zulfan has been waiting for me to pray sunnah two rakaat. After I finished I was getting ready to go to sleep.
“Take a nightgown, Dik! her door. I do so without refuting. My body was hot cold looking at Zulfan's unusual gaze.
“Mas out first..” he shook his head.
“Then I came out. Go change to the bathroom.
“You are not ashamed of what from the bathroom wear clothes soan.Ya already Mas only came out.” Zulfan open room door.”Don't be long,” whispered.
Who buys clothes like this, my heart. You freak. Honestly, I'm worried about the open model. Zulfan's voice was calling from outside the door.
“Shortly,” sahutku. Really like a kid.
“Open the door.”
“Wait.” I can't wait very hard, my mind. I stepped up trembling. Zulfan smiled satisfied at my appearance.
While I bowed in shame.
“We pray first yes. Have you memorized his prayer?” i'm nodding. “Means it's ready ya.” I pinched his arm.
Tonight I will perfect my role as a wife. Zulfan smiled and his face began to stiffen.
The night is getting late. We have let go of all the longing and thirst we have been harboring for so long.
“Thank you, Darling. You've kept your chastity only for Mas.”
At 02:30 I woke up. Zulfan also opened his eyes. He smiled and stroked my messy hair.
“We should shower immediately. Don't get them first. Here at three o'clock people are up for tahajud.”
I'm nodding.
Then, we perform tahajud prayer. While waiting for dawn, I rested my head on Zulfan's shoulders. I want to ask God for time to stop turning around here. This heart is really wet.
Adhan dawn from the mosque. Zulfan prepared to welcome the most beautiful call of the morning. I looked at her face that seemed to glow with ablution water.
Lord, thank you for this wonderful gift. But I still have a big pe-er. Hilmanis. I pray and hope that Hilman finds a better soul mate than me.
❤❤❤
Seriate...
