Horizons

Episode 42

-Kendra

　

I'm lying if I'm not interested in Khanza. Totally lying.

As a normal man, my secret weapon also vibrates whenever the commoner girl from heaven seduces me. The day is getting frontal. Moreover, earlier malem, I cheated him with a backsound of unseen voices from the next room. It turns out that there is more difficult than fighting on the battlefield, which is fighting against one's own passions. But I'm amazed, I can do not myself to nerkam he was malem.

After knowing Khanza is the daughter of Major General, of course I retreat regularly. Not brave. Wherever I love my job. My family in Java depends on me. More so next year I already need a lot of money for college. As much as possible I'm not looking for trouble.

But the more I try to get away from the 'trouble beast', the more powerless I am to make. Every day it feels incomplete if you have not heard the nosy babble of the girl. Although sometimes annoying, but the behavior I always miss. For a long time I felt like he was an opium, which made me dependent and always dependent.

But now, it is no longer because of his affection for his father that makes me always hold back. Rather, it's a hard taste to express. It was so precious that she didn't want anything to ruin her, including myself. Therefore I laboriously hold back every time he fished for my maleness. I didn't realize how every cell in my brain struggled so hard to resist every urge to grab it. She is dangerous.

I know I'm a type of thinker, different from Khanza who just go with the flow. Every thing I always think mature in the future, let alone the affairs of women. My age has been the last two heads, bro, is not the time anymore I mess around. I also want to marry and have a wife to complete half of my life. But find a wife is not as simple as looking for shoes, not suitable to wear and then change. Can't be like that.

Khanza..he's too perfect for me who's lacking.

I want to be a mom, never ask women to accept our situation as it is. I often hear guys argue 'if you love me the same I accept me as I am'. To me, it's just the words of a sissy guy, who hides behind the words to cover up his unwillingness to fight for better change. If he was a real man, no words would come out of his mouth. Because a real man cannot let a woman live with him. No matter how difficult life is, he will only feel his own distress in order to make his woman live a comfortable and happy life.

In the dictionary of my life there are no words 'accept me as I am'. If we love someone, we must be willing to change and be determined to be with them. From the original males-malesan work should be the spirit of looking for rupiah for supplies in the future, from the original only think of his own needs should start thinking about the needs of both, such as a commitment. Must fill and complement each other, not just selfish.

And I would never ask Khanza to accept me as I am. It is precisely I who have to fight how to be worthy of being with this extraordinary woman. This fight is certainly not easy. More difficult than just the steep terrain, the whirring of bullets, or the booby traps that I have always faced. I repeatedly caught the shadow of that woman in the crystal ball I had. Imagining her in my grasp and accompanying my days with her jokes. But for that there is a steep road that I must pass first.

Khanza. she is the price I have to pay.