Half of My Husband's life

Like Saving a Bomb

Andra hugged the standing body pecking at her question. The body that began to contain because it contained his child was stiff as if reluctant to move, whether his mind was returning to that time. The time he lost Azzam.

"Tell me." whispered Andra tighter and tighter.

He could hear the heaviness of the breath rising and falling on Hafizah's chest.

"Am I so bad compared to Azzam that you still can't forget everything? Is my relationship with Ara not enough to make you sure that I really want to make you happy? Was I_"

"Mas!" he sobbed in Andra's chest.

"I love you so much Hafizah, what do I have to do to stop remembering about the Azzam accident. Do I have to get out of this world first so you can love me as much as you love Az_"

"Yes...! Ilove you. Don't ever say to go I don't want that, I want to be with you, raising our children." Hafizah looked up at the face that looked so disappointed, she grabbed Andra's hand, lowered it down to touch the stomach that was starting to fill.

"I'm sorry Mas. I won't repeat my words about anything you don't like. I promise, I won't repeat it." caressing one side of Andra's face, looking at her sincerely.

Andra did not answer, filled with heart to hear the cries and promises of women who should not feel guilty. But to tell the truth he was still unable to.

Without a word he warmly kissed the left cheek of Hafizah, but then passed it.

"Yes..."

He didn't stop either, walking towards the front yard.

"Mas!"

"Mak Fiza."

Aunty's voice shocked Hafizah, the already senior woman in Andra's house seemed to understand what they were talking about.

"Mas Andra Bi." said Fiza worriedly.

"Mas Andra just needs a minute." Aunty asked Fiza to sit on the sofa in the living room.

"Bi, I'm afraid she's upset and..."

"Ga do not think of anything, Mas Andra really loves Mbak Fiza. Aunt's husband was young when he was not like that, but he did love, love died. Just a drop when compared to Mas Andra, jauuhhh......! Lose." Aunt chuckles.

And managed to make Fiza finally smile a little, among the faces that are still worried about the front door.

"Sorry, I heard that. Actually Mas Andra was afraid of losing competitiveness with her late husband Mbak Fiza, aka jealousy." Aunt smiled again.

"There is no competition Bi, In terms of religion it may be Mas Azzam more than Mas Andra, it is natural because he is indeed a preacher. But in loving me, Mas Andra knows better. And to be honest, for the first time I felt jealous, suspicious, and I didn't believe myself to be his wife." slowly at the end of his words.

Auntie chuckled back. "That's you two are the same." Shaking your heads.

Hafizah was embarrassed.

"Mas Andra is also the same, feeling not confident accompanying Mbak Fiza who is the son of a Kiyai. He tried his best to love Mbak Fiza, waking up in the morning to make milk, the night was also so. Afternoon martial-belain went home just to make sure Mbak Fiza ate. Not tired at all, here and there like a hot iron, not to mention having to take care of Indri Mbak."

Hafizah looked at Bibi, hearing Indri's name she was still thinking about many things. "Bi, I just feel the same fate as a widow whose husband died in Kak Indri's accident."

"Well!" old Nanny Andra's eyes were wide.

"Mak Fiza." Call Auntie a little quivering.

"I'd better not remember that, Mas Andra will be angry if I hear that." Hafizah wiped her tears. He didn't know if Andra was standing listening to him talk with his eyes feeling spicy.

"Had Fiza met her man, she apologized. Is Miss Fiza still willing to forgive her?" bibi asked deliberately while giving code to Andra not to approach.

"That can't be Bi, it's been over a year." Fiza's getting down.

"There is wisdom behind disaster. Suppose Fiza's husband is still there, it means we won't live on the same roof." Aunty smiled gently, holding the nervous hand of Hafizah.

"Yes, in the end I am grateful to be reunited with Mas Andra. Husband and father to my children." hugging his own stomach.

"Then, be grateful for this happiness. Explain everything that has happened. Remember there are lives that need full affection from both parents. Arafah too." those warm, wrinkled hands slightly stroked the side of Hafizah's belly.

"Auntie's right, I'm pregnant with the fruit of love I heard Mas Andra. I shouldn't have made him mad."

"I'm not angry." A pair of warm Andra's arms were coiled, hugging her from behind who was half-obstructed by the sofa.

"Mas." call him in a whisper.

"Sorry, honey, I'm the one who's not comfortable with you. I'm sorry." Andra said again.

Aunty left the two people who were in love, quarreled and made up. But in his employer's household this really makes his heart exercise, because he knows exactly the beginning of this marriage. Indri killed her husband, and Andra came to pay him without honesty. "I feel like I'm storing a bomb that one second later could have exploded violently." the middle-aged woman muttered.

Actually, Andra did not need to be angry or worried about anything, let alone that it only concerned the story about Azzam, he was dead. And no one knows about that incident. It's just that hiding big things from his beloved wife makes his head sometimes feel like breaking. The more his love day increases, the more his guilt grows. In addition, now she is pregnant, not afraid of losing Hafizah and her children.

"Prepare yourself to admit everything, so that you can live a quiet life without burden." Tomi suggested that morning, the three handsome men were sitting in one room.

"You're right, but not now. She is young pregnant, she is sensitive and cries easily. Even though I liked him, he was more spoiled and jealous. It means he loves me." Andra smiled slightly, imagining how his wife had been lately.

"He does love you. That's why you should be able to make her sure that you love her. Not just because he was responsible for the accident." said Tomi again.

"Yes, I know." Andra took a breath, she just needed to try, and should be able to.

"And you?" Tomi threw the folded paper at Mingho.

"Ah, weren't you going to see my sister?" Andra spoke while opening Tomi's laptop.

"Yes." Yeah." Mingho answered briefly.

"Then?" Tomi was curious.

"You know, it turns out that the youngest was thinking about a lot of things. Not what it looks like on the outside, tough and ruthless. His heart is soft like an angel, even sadness can be hidden very neatly."

"Sad?" Andra knitted her brows.

"Yes. Like you said, the pesantren's finances are not good. And it became a burden of his own mind for Ningrum. You better talk about your plan to send him to Egypt. I'm very sure he will refuse, but will not refuse if we help the pesantren's finances." explained Mingho after thinking about it since yesterday.

"You're being a masked hero?"

Then they laughed.