GIRL UNDER THE MOON

self-abusing

not only cut off hope, he also buried it deeply. life as if it did not give him a choice anymore.is it possible that it is just a form of emotional overflow? or not, it is the will of the destiny maker himself. 

sometimes the speech is a do'a. must not be realized immediately, without realizing it, someday must happen. Therefore, no matter how difficult the situation is faced, stay calm, stay calm, refrain, do not brag let alone curse, whether in the direction of others, or yourself.

...

huh. I sighed for a moment. staring at the mirror, to ask? "what other stories will I meet today?''.

 the story begins in the morning, which requires me to come to Leni's house. "her mother is waiting!" she said. 

just last night I asked him to come home, after morning arrived, Leni told me I had arrived home. 

since I no longer have a vehicle, I borrowed the motor om iwan on aunt lisa. aunt lisa did not feel objected, with the motorbike that I was about to borrow. it just appeared a sense of wonder in her mind, about where my motorbike is. before long he immediately asked. "your motor where nu?" 

my parents didn't teach me to lie, so I told them the truth that the bike was for sale. 

"sold?" he said he didn't believe.

"yes on sale." I replied affirming.

"why did it get sold?"

"mec. ahem. danu is confused as to where else to tan! danu also feels guilty to dad, for not asking permission to sell his bike first, but what danu did all for meera."

"isn't your relationship over? so what is the money from the sale of the motorbike used for?" 

"this is not about the relationship of lovers, but about humanity.his mother is lying dying in the hospital, the situation is very worrying, must be immediately examined and requires a cost of 50 million, he said, the only thing you can give them is the bike, and you sell it for 8 million, still less. Now Danu will come to Leni's house, to ask her parents for help, his mother was a sekbid of medical services in Pandeglang district, and I hope she can give way."

"yes, now you're leaving!" exclaimed aunt Lisa while handing me the keys to the bike.

arriving at the house leni. presence I was waiting by his mother.leni had already reported first. on the sofa I just two sit with his mother, I call him aunty. before getting into the topic of conversation, his mother Leni had told him about the return of Lenin suddenly. According to the story I heard from him, that night also leni went straight home to pandeglang. 

apparently, after hanging up the phone from me, Leni immediately contacted Beni, they agreed to go home to pandeglang tomorrow morning, but what happened, that night they both could not continue their sleep, they could not continue to sleep, until they decided to leave at that moment, until they arrived at Pandeglang in the morning, they were now asleep.

"the lens has been informed in advance, about the purpose you want to meet aunty. said leni is important! but he's not talking about the important things you're going to reveal to auntie."

"what's wrong, nu?" ask leni's mother.

"according to danu this is important, but do not know according to aunt.it is about life! since a few days, his mother lay dying in the hospital.the doctor who handled the advice to do the surgery immediately, but had to prepare the cost first, the nominal amount of 50 million. for them, the doctor who handled it, that much money from where to get it, especially in a short time.all they can do right now is surrender, waiting for life to pick him up. Now andu want to ask, is there no other way, no other way, in addition to collecting that much money, in order to be operated?"

"is the treatment using BPJS card, or SKTM satar[not able to]?"

"he said no. They're going the public line."

"why not ask first, before acting!"

his mother leni suggested to make SKTM letter only. I do not understand how the procedure.then he went back to explain, had to go to the local RT, then error, then error, to make a cover letter that will be brought to the district. afterwards make a referral letter at the puskesmas where meera lives, after her referral letter in can, later will be assisted by her mother leni. 

by noon, I set off back to the hospital sari asih attacked, using a car with leni and beni. 

"is it true that nu, lo and meera are having a problem?" leni asked on the way.in the car itself, beni was driving, leni was sitting next to him, while I was behind them.

"the reality is like that." I answered Leni's question earlier.

"why?"

"all things start on New Year's Eve."

"did meera not approve of lo going with us?"

"that's not it. you know for yourself, don't you and your cousin's inspiration?"

"want?"

"meera too and his wife the inspiration of the cousin. In their opinion, if my relationship and meera continued until the marriage, it was pamali. because between the four of us there would be a mutual defeat. that's the reason that makes meera retreat."

"if someone is strong to hold on to his beliefs, then it is difficult to break.then you choose to give up nu?"

"gw is not typical of people who fall in love easily, let alone change the taste. I also do not include people who give up easily, so I will still survive, and try, to try, until my feelings for meera are gone."

"heem. means you'll keep hoping." 

yes, I will still hope.even hope that kills me once. I do not want to live in a charade, pretend love, but the heart refuses.I choose to live in honesty, I choose to live in honesty, every moment suffering approaches.

arrived at the hospital.I have not found anyone else in the waiting room.so decided to enter the room where his mother meera in the room, only meera and her father lived, only meera, who accompanied his mother.

meera was amazed to see the arrival of Lenin.he immediately approached to embrace him.in that embrace leni advised. "patient ya ra!" in a sobbing, meera thanked leni.

his father told him that inspiration and risma had returned home, their return home was nothing but to take a change of clothes. 

I invited meera's father to talk, but I didn't want to talk inside, I took her to the waiting room, she followed him, followed by Beni from behind.

"mohom sorry before sir! want until when do we just fall silent while hoping that his mother meera can be operated? while there's no effort we can make." I said.

"lantas, how else?" tanyanya's confused.

"if you don't mind, danu will help make the certificate not capable.Hopefully with the letter, my mother can be operated."

"the way?"

"let danu take care, now you just prepare a copy of the photo kk and ktpnya!"

her father meera prepared what I asked for, thus requiring me to leave immediately, in order to fulfill all her requirements.

I left at that time also to meera's hometown, accompanied by beni. have informed the inspiration first, to help facilitate finding the address to be headed.

"if I may know, what reason do you make, so willing to do all this for meera? sory, do you want to draw sympathy from him? your relationship is over." asked Beni in the car during the trip.

"if loving him alone has no reason, then why should reason? you should know, this is not a way to attract sympathy, but I am understanding the definition of love.if indeed he is not in love, there is no need to hate him. If you have to, it is not love, it is not love, but lust wants to have it."

"lo is different nu. that's one reason people like lo. every day I always think, how to be able to compensate lo, when I try to lo already far away, I always think, when I chased you already was one level higher than Iw."

"do you know why, ben?"

"he em."

"why did meera break up when I was in love with her? according to Iw, it's a way from god, as a lesson for me."

"yes I understand it, how suffering devi, how to feel leni ."

arriving at meera's hometown, inspiration and risma were waiting for our arrival, they welcomed meera's house.don't wait later, I asked her to immediately meet all the requirements, I asked her to meet all the requirements, so that my mother can be quickly in surgery.

risma as a guide, drove to the house of Mr. RT. upon arrival at the house of Mr. RT, unfortunately according to his wife pak rt was in the rice field. if you have to wait for him to come home can until afternoon. with a heavy heart, I have to ask that RT sir can be followed. because of the urgent situation, RT's mother is happy, go after him. 

one hour we spent, in order to wait for the return of rt sir from the rice fields.I submit what so our request to pak rt. by asking for a letter of introduction to the village, not just giving a letter of introduction, but also a letter of introduction, but rt sir also helped us in total to make a certificate of incapacity. 

together with Mr. RT, we went to the village hall. somehow, that day a lot of drama happened.The village office in the village was empty, aka there were no officers on guard. then Mr. RT suggested to go to one of his cadres, he happened to know. 

we were taken to one of the houses of the village cadre, the man immediately acted, asking the task of the people in the village hall. "why is that hour the village office is empty?" to the pak rt is worth appreciation. pak rt also intended to make a letter of introduction as soon as possible. 

I don't want, the incident in the village repeated in the sub-district. "pak RT, have no district officer number?" manya anticipate. 

mr. RT shook his head. "don't give the number, only you have" replied Mr. RT.

"i have." said the village cadre admitted. 

"please call! said we needed a referral letter."

the cadre then contacted him, he revealed according to my orders. 

after finishing talking by phone, the village cadre also told us to go to the address that had been written.It happened that Mr. RT knew, we immediately left.

in short, a letter of reference from the puskesmas carita has been obtained, live in hand over to his mother leni in RSUD berkah pandeglang. 

"nih tan, all the requirements needed have been collected" I told his mother Leni while handing over the file to him at the hospital.

"aunty will help the process.at least ten o'clock her mother meera can be operated." replied his mother leni promising.

all requirements have been handed over, just waiting.me, beni, ilhan, and risma back to the hospital sari asih attack, but this time departure increased by one member, none other than Mr. RT. "after all, meera's mother is my citizen, so I have to help her to be done." that's why sir rt came with us to attack. 

on the way, at about 9pm, we stopped for a while to eat. Just bribed some food into the mouth, leni called me. then I replied: "what's wrong?"

"where are you guys, why hasn't the clock come back yet?" ask leni. 

"we're on our way, we're eating first."

"anyways, you should come here quickly!" leni exclaimed furiously, urging that soon, something alarming seemed to happen. 

I said "yes." Yes we will immediately figure out. My appetite disappears, I feel anxious, I let the rest of the food is still half. 

his mother's surgical plan will be done at 10 am. But fate willed another, god has called him first. sobs broke right at 01 am, his mother meera breathed his last. meera was crying brutally. 

copyright silence is also shown the face of a concerned face that sees.also feel the sorrow, leni also shed tears.Risma hugged meera, calming. 

tears drenched his blushing face, a face that had once adorned with a smile, it began to wither.

her tears, her tears, her sadness, was my sadness as well. All over my body began to droop, my legs trembled, I could do nothing more.

the outflow of his emotions came out, so rebellious he cursed himself. "why did mom leave meera?" ask her disappointment. "she said she wanted to see meera get married.then why did you leave too soon, before that hope was realized."

"since my mother is gone, I have decided not to marry anyone, because for what else, mom is dead."

I do not believe, with emotional, meera can express words that should not be spoken. when sadness hits someone, somehow the person suddenly narrow thinking.and vice versa.

sometimes, I remember the words of my grandfather in the sheep village first.he said: "you will not be able to take love from his rabbi.meera has a long journey, if he arrives, he said, he has a noble position by his side." 

if it means the meaning of the oath uttered by meera, it is the beginning of the long journey later.if there is an opportunity, I will write his journey to ma'rifat. under the title "woman tested."

--o0o---

if I can resist, I will refuse the day it happened. If I can't, at least erase it in memory. Why is that so? because it was the rainy day of tears.the day that led to his funeral procession took place. 

could that be what fate means? come without being aware, go without having to say goodbye. 

a soft white cloth, wrapped in his stiff body.meera tried to whisper a word in the ear that could not hear it anymore. "you left me in this old house. the hut that holds many unforgettable stories, where mothers and fathers pour out tired, now stands deserted residents.pardon meera ma'am, if you can not meet all the expectations that you ask. meera will not marry anyone ma'am, because free mother will not be able to live again to watch.even with danu though, which I know meera loves her very much." said disappointed frontal.

I closed my eyes many times, I did not want to see the bitter reality.not only witnessed the reality of meera, but my reality as well.I also tried to close my ears, I also tried to close my ears, so as not to hear his screams in tears.

dusty photos, only a memory for a mute wall.where else, he can steal the taste of kelu and kesahan? I doubt who will help him to stand up? I don't know if he could face a cruel world of abuse while my hands couldn't reach him anymore, my jokes didn't make him smile and I said I couldn't convince him anymore, "I'm there for you."

sprinkles of bolons on the red ground, marked with gravestones.crying sounds so tear through the ear mesh.I could only lean under the old banyan tree.the inspiration came over, and, carrying his weak voice. "nu." said my name.he saw me helpless, a wound without spotting so slicing in the heart. 

beni and Leni who helped usher in the funeral procession took place, are concerned about the situation. "patience bro!" beni said while stroking my shoulders.from the hospital to the cemetery, leni remained faithful beside meera. as much as possible leni handing so that meera was not lulled in grief.

I want to leave that day, I invite the inspiration to be brought to his wife's house, because really I can't afford to be always shown with his cry. I told Beni to accompany Leni until the funeral is over, if you want to go home, pick me up at the house of his wife the inspiration. 

inside the homestead, I asked for a white piece of paper complete with its pen on inspiration. the inspiration took it for me. That piece of paper I would write a word for meera, before the separation actually happened.

"we have a desire, but fate gives us reality. The sun never chooses who to shine on, everyone has the same right, as long as the person wants out to pick him up. if God created the night to replace the day, you must be sure he created happiness to replace the sadness.don't let the sadness take your day.God never let his servant get dissolved in the sadness, he said, there must be a wonderful plan to pay for all those tears.keep all the stories in do'a, let god turn them happy.'"

if you read this, I hope that your smile has returned. Not only have I lost you, but I have lost your smile as well, and it has been a disaster for me. 

   january 25, 2012.                                                                       danu, someone who was once made to fall in love.

that is the sound of writing that I made to meera. I began to fold it, then put it on the inspiration. "ham. later you love this to meera! but not now. later, after the situation is tenag."

ilham accepted it, then replied: "myah I will love meera. By the way what is it?" ask him kepo.

"just give it a hand!" 

leni and beni followed, taking him home immediately. Before leaving home, they asked to say goodbye to all of their families meera, especially to meera himself. I said "no." let them say goodbye, let them, I'll wait in the car. 

the day I have to say goodbye, not just saying goodbye to him, but saying goodbye in his life.I will walk, on a road that does not know where it will go. I will always remember, even remember it. about the day that became a ray in the meeting.where on the 11th of the 11th month of 2011, I found it. it made my soul feel strange.After the meeting I was made to doubt, I was, but he came back with a miracle.I started to have a sense, I also want him to feel the same way, to require me to put in the effort, to make him fall in love.

I call her a woman under the moon, for that night was in the future by longing, she was sitting pensively on the bench stop, the moon shining above her beckoned, he was waiting for his girlfriend.

I did not come with a rose to symbolize love and affection. I also did not bring him chocolate, as a form of attention and commitment, but I came with the stars that would accompany him to shine.

The sheep village adorns the inside of the story, the story of a long day, where I suddenly sprawled. He presents a warm embrace, as a form of concern, I reply through a melody.

He knows everything about me, through the voice of Lenin. Until the peak of a feeling was realized, I loved him, he loved me. We become two people who complement each other.

Reality is not always on the good side, problems will occur in every life, I still had time to see him smile, before the smile was gone. I keep fighting, hoping for his hope to live.

He would rather condemn himself than defend. Until the day requires me to stay. Either you have to leave forever, or just wait for a break. Obviously, I have to beat time, or not time will beat me.

january 25, 2012. Marked as a day of mourning, as well as the last day I could see meera.