Forced Flow of Life

Palau

POV Nisa's

Our meal is over. Okta and I rushed home. Huuhhh is exhausting and relieving. I finally passed the final exam.

Arriving at home I rushed to my room and did my usual activities. Change clothes, lunch, take a nap, help mamak clean the house and cook. I still ate lunch at home because I was hungry again even though I had eaten in the cafeteria with Okta.

For a few days, I thought hard about where I was going to go to school. Please note, until this moment I am a person who principled to go with the flow only. I will set the next step as I approach when I will begin to step. I'm not a man full of mature plans. Just look at my way of learning, really very disorganized.

Like I said I traveled somewhere using google maps without ever going there before. It's a bit horrible to get lost, but it's certainly up to the destination too. But that's the ingrained principle in my life.

After thinking carefully by considering my dreams, I want to continue studying at my favorite High School in the city. I want to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor in the future. There I also want to develop one of my talents, which is music.

People say my voice is somewhat melodious, even though sometimes I still feel inferior to others who sound melodious. I think the school is perfect for my talent development. I have to talk about my wishes tonight.

At night, all family members eat dinner together. It's simple. But everything feels good in the midst of the warmth of family togetherness. I ate dinner with my family with gratitude.

The food that I had taken I spent all of it without leaving the rest of the food on my side. Father said if you eat do not leave food on our plate. As much as possible should be spent unless the condition of the body is not possible, pain for example.

As much as possible I take food according to the needs of food that I can eat. According to the father, leaving food on the plate means we take the rations of people who cannot eat. Or people who lack food.

Finished eating me and my family left time for a chat. This is where both father and mother will give a message as a provision of life and discuss. We also joked about speaking indistinctly.

"Mr Sir the school year tomorrow I bought a bag yes, it has been damaged the old one," I said.

"By Nis," said the mother assented.

"Tas siji loro tas loro telu bag telu papat," chirped the father in Javanese which means after one two, after two three, after three four. The words of the father succeeded in making me and Mas Setyo stupefied. Mamak who already knew what you meant instead laughed at my expression and Mas Setyo.

"I don't understand you, sir, do you?" I still stare and think.

"Heem Deck me too. Explain dong mak sir," said Mas Setyo.

"Gini lho nduk le means siji bag means loro, loro bag means telu. Siji loro telu papat hahahahaha," explained the father and then laughed. I'm the same Mas Setyo laughed after knowing what the father meant.

We have our own way of joking around, maybe other people will think that our jokes are weird. But like the word, such jokes have become our daily food. Not just kidding. Neither I nor I can talk about our problems nor our opinions. And today I will exercise my rights in my family.

"Sir, sir, may I speak for a moment?" tanya Nisa started the conversation.

"By Nduk, what's wrong?" he began to focus his attention on me.

"Gini Sir, Mak, Mas. I'll graduate again. Can I talk about where I want to go to school?" said Nisa who was actually worried about all the answers she got later.

"Bby Nduk. Where do you want to go to school?" ask the curious.

"If I may, I want to go to Bangun Mulya High School, sir" replied Nisa. Father smiled.

"If you suggest you better go to school at SMK Guna Bakti, Nduk. There the quality of the school is no less good. There you have led to the real world, if SMA is still general knowledge Nduk," said the father who I think I can not deny.

"But sir," I stopped.

"Udahlah Nis school there only. The quality is not inferior in the same way that in Bungu Mulya High School," said mamak interrupted my speech. Setyo could not say a word. He looked at me with a pity look.

I also just remained silent. I can't believe all the answers I got. I know they suggest school to SMK Guna Bakti because the cost of school there is more affordable for my family. But if allowed, actually I want to find a scholarship to attend Bangun Mulya High School to pursue my dream. Unfortunately, they never asked me what my dream was. I'm disappointed.

I know the way they look is still conservative about girls. You know what life was in the time of Kartini's mother. The only difference is I can still go to school and play free. The matter of their treatment school to Mas Setyo is different from me. Mas Setyo can choose the school according to what Mas Setyo wants. But me? I'm actually jealous of Setyo.

I left the living room without speaking again and ignored everything that was staring at me leaving. I was filled with disappointment. For the second time my desire to go to school thwarted them. Wh why? I know they mean well to me. But why did they never listen to my desire to pursue my dreams?

But how else. Father's words are hard to dispute. Indeed, all his words were always true for one aspect of life and I agreed. But not for school. I was always at odds when it came to school elections.

When I got to the room, I threw myself down. I breathe heavily. Right now I have to think, do I have to obey again or do I have to pursue my dreams? It's hard for me to decide. I was not the dissident type. Whatever I do, there must be the blessing of the parents. But what about my dream?

I dissolved in my mind to the point that I had been in dreamland.