Cracked Pearls

Flashback

Walking up the stairs to the room that from today can be called 'my room', I still feel unfamiliar with this atmosphere actually.

The environment, the food, even the glowing lights all felt like a dream. I hope to get used to this soon, without the chaos of utter loss.

I closed the door just a step past the threshold.

Sitting at the end of the bed with a soft mattress that is actually very comfortable if enjoyed with a heart without burden. Unfortunately, I'm not in that mode. My mind went back to many situations.

In addition to my father's sudden departure, on the same day of his death, I was decided by a girlfriend who I had loved for three years. It happened shortly before Dad left home to reprimand the guy, because he could not accept his favorite girl was hurt and made to cry. Until an hour later, I got a call from the police, if Dad had an accident and died shortly after.

As if being hit by millions of spears, my entire soul felt numb. Surprise then crawled into extreme pain, making me want to die.

That is the biggest regret in my heart. Dad's gone because of me!

Scratch again. My heart will never have a cure. Too bad to be restored.

Some time after being satisfied to wander around, I then recalled the arrangement of sentences described by Om Krishna when at the dinner table a while ago.

He said, five days away - or Monday to be exact, I would have set my foot on the new school. Spending the rest of the smester, so that I can get a diploma and then continue college according to my interests.

If Dad hadn't left so soon, I might not have had to change schools. In just about seven months, I'm about to graduate High School in my old school in Bandung. Unfortunately reality forced me to change roads. The rest of my High School time I had to spend in a new school. Om Krishna doesn't agree I'm living alone in an old house. He was too worried about leaving me with no one there. It was at Dad's request as well to the man in his last second.

Anyone may ask; Om Krishna ... Who is he really?

I'll explain it clearly.

Flashbacks

Knee-length blue monalisa dress with a simple floral accent, I wear this time. The little white bag I bought last week at the supermarket with friends, tucked sweetly from my left shoulder across to my right waist. My long hair I let it run down just like that, feeling occasionally whipped as I moved quite excited today.

I have an appointment to go with someone this afternoon. Though it will still happen in an hour, but I've been like a hot worm. Acting as if to meet the Prince of England.

Ah, I don't care. I have to be total, so that nothing looks less in his eyes. Let him not be the Prince of England, but I think he is more than that. I adore him from all sides.

The sound of the sneakers I was wearing rang loudly on the floor of the house. I came out of my room and walked towards the direction where Dad was reading a newspaper in the living room. The wide paper with a row of extra small writing was lifted up high, to cover his face which sometimes looks arrogant, but sometimes also so sweet. It was clear in my eyes ... Dad is too perfect!

I'm standing next to him now.

"I say goodbye, Dad," I said straight away, as I grabbed the right hand that made the newspaper he was holding was seen waving on the sofa. My permission had been thrown out a while after reading Nandan's chat message this afternoon. So I just say goodbye.

I pecked the back of the burly hand and then sauntered after Dad agreed with his smile accompanied by a word, "Be careful. Don't go home at night."

I replied quickly, "Okay, Commander!" The right palm of my hand I placed right at the temple, acting like a corporal in the honor of a general. With an expanding smile I slammed away towards the exit with a big smile.

But not until my feet reached the last row of floors in the doorway did Father's voice suddenly stop me.

"Muti!"

I turned my body to face him. "Yes, Dad?!"

"Back home and buy me a cheese martabak at the turn of the red light deck. I want to eat that. Can, right?"

My smile is growing again. I peeked a glimpse of her cheek before finally saying, "Okay, Dad," I said. "Muti go, yeah!"

“Eh, wait!” intercept Dad again.

I looked half groaned. “What else, Yaaahhh ..?”

“You have money to buy it?”

That question made me smile. “There, really, Dad. Father calm aja.”

He nodded as usual with his smile.

But suddenly after that ...?

She pulled my hand and hugged me so tightly before I completely walked out of her face. Swiping and pecking in the shoots of my head even to repeat.

I'm certainly confused.

My forehead frowned in response to this unusual behavior.

"Dad why?" plain asked me with his head tilted on his chest which always looks stocky even though the age is no longer young. His heart beat was melodious through my ears.

Father broke our embrace later, then looked me in the eyes with his head lowered due to our disproportionate height. The tip of my head was only his chest.

"Take care of yourself, son. Dear father Muti."

The wrinkle on my forehead was getting thickened, but also could not find the right word to reply to him, besides, "Muti also loves Dad," I reply gamang. I felt strange about my own answer. I looked at his old face that never lost its good looks all that time.

"Yes, go there. Later later and later wait for you," he said with his hands shaking as if driving me away.

I only responded with a thin nod. This smile felt faint. I felt his gaze was so different today. She was so sweet, so fragile at the same time.

Until then the sound of the horn in the courtyard disperse my shallow thoughts.

"Taxi's coming" said Dad pointing out with his chin.

I followed the line of sight, then looked back at him. "Yes, already. Muti pamit yes, Dad. The martyr must be Muti buyin."

"Yes, Honey. Careful."

Again, my feelings were strange. Dad's voice felt so soft and melodious in my ears. I walked out while shaking my head many times to shake off my feelings that were suddenly attacked restlessly.

I looked at him smiling in the doorway. Keep looking at me who is currently sitting in a taxi. I returned his smile just before the taxi I was riding actually drove away from the yard.

“What's the same Dad?”