Cracked Pearls

Memories of Mercury

My house!

The simple building where the memories were embedded in every corner and part of it, I stared with a broken feeling.

I stood straight at the gate with my body shaking.

Not once has it been cleared, I'll leave it all this way - even for a moment. Leaving millions of stories carved out of the sweetness of being a princess so beloved by her father.

Drowning in a heartache without being able to revolt despite one stomp to behave.

I fell down and fell as if lifeless.

I was once again a stupid tear that would not stop.

The word 'father' seems to continue to be a wound that may never dry up. It will continue to gap as it passes from my life.

“Come, Son!”

The voice then shook me. I turned towards the figure of the middle-aged man in minus glasses who was standing beside me, looking at him for a moment, then nodding for a few seconds afterwards with a heavy heart. “Iya, Om.” My hoarse voice felt fake to be heard.

Before I passed, I placed my arms around Bu Saida, the figure who had always accompanied me all this time. He was our neighbor-me and father. The inhabitants of the house next door were so dear to me because of the warmth of his attitude. "Your father's departure isn't the end of everything, son," said the old woman as she continued to stroke my head, which was burning in her alcove. "Your future is long. Don't get drawn into grief, huh?" I nodded with a face .. of course wet with tears.

After taking off Ms. Saida's embrace, I shifted to kiss the back of Mr. Nandar's hand-husband Bu Saida. “Take care of yourself, son. Don't forget to mess around here, look at us,” he said with a smile as if he let go of me.

I nodded again. “Sure, Sir.”

In the end I gave up. Following a new groove I can't even describe what the sequence looks like.

I got into a fancy car whose door was open. Then sat in the very seat of the second row after the wheel, with limp shoulders and head down sadly, followed by the middle-aged man named Krishna beside me. The door closed, the car began to crawl slowly and carefully away from my yard.

Seen from the outside rearview, the shadows of Bu Saida and Pak Nandar still standing staring at our departure in the distance with their arms waving to let go.

“God ...”

I closed my eyes to a few jokes, pervading how this was not a dream. My chest was very tight, as if hit by something very heavy.

I'm really gonna leave everything behind.

In a chaotic scene, as if sowing my wounds to all times, my eyes saw a vast expanse of uneven grass fields on the side of the road still around my area, which I used a while ago to learn to drive a motorcycle with Dad. Instantly all the shadows appeared like forcing into my mind. My tears broke again.

“Muti!” Om Krishna took me in his arms. “Patience, Child. Everything will be over soon.”

His tranquilizing sentence did not penetrate in my head even though. I'm too fucked up. But he kept stroking my hair and my back was not tired of giving me a rest. Until a while later, my crying finally subsided. I managed to control myself.

In the end, I chose to sink back into a variety of memories that actually just make me claustrophobic. But I can't deny at least saying 'I don't want to drag on'. I'm too weak to fight.

“Muti.”

Om Krishna's soft voice again broke the strands of shadows in my head. I flinched then raised my face that had originally ducked. Got it for a moment, then said, “Iya, Om.”

“Om hope you can find your happiness in the city there. New atmosphere, new environment, new school .. hopefully be a medicine that can make you forget your sadness.”

I understand that phrase. I wanted to deny it, but my voice suddenly felt choked in my throat. In the end it was just an unconvincing nod that I could show without a word of support.

I know he's praying for me. But the depth of my heart, no one can dive in, except ... Lordy!

Hang every second of my breath and life on You, Lord. I'm giving up - at least for now.

Without feeling, the car driven by a driver whose face could not even be seen because it was blocked by the seat he occupied, was far enough to leave my hometown. I stared through the glass beside me.

The deserted roads that only a few similar vehicles passed felt alive, as the wheels of the car I was riding kept on grinding them mercilessly.

I nodded again. The tightness in my chest still felt like I didn't want to leave.

Too seriously enjoying the pain and foolishly crying, made me finally tired. My head was leaning sideways against the street behind the glass. My eyes withered and began to feel heavy just to blink. Clenched slowly, then sank into the darkness, as if all my burdens were gone.

****

It took at least four hours to travel, we finally arrived at our destination.

I can't believe Om Krishna's family welcome was so warm to me. Especially Aunt Maria-wife. The woman was incessantly throwing out compliments that I thought. He said I was beautiful, sweet, beautiful, okay, what and what. This was our first meeting. I only responded with a bland sweet smile as it was a little forced. I saw some people smiling at me. Including one of them an old man who had welcomed us was caught in front of the gate. Her warm face reminded me of Mr. Nandar.

“Muti, come Aunty Anter to your room, Honey,” said Aunt Maria reached out to me who was still sitting tensely on the sofa.

Kulrikik Om Krishna who sat beside me as if asking for an opinion. The man nodded and smiled. “Nothing, Son. Sana join Auntie.”

Without having a chance to reply, Aunt Maria had already grabbed my hand and pulled to her feet. We walked in tandem with one arm of Aunt Maria coiled around my shoulder, heading towards the stairs ahead there. My little suitcase was attracted in the hands of a middle-aged woman who was probably the housekeeper in this house, right behind me. While the fat backpack is still depressed in my arms.

Reaching the middle of the stairs, I realized how magnificent this house was. And I will stay in it for a period of time .. I don't know exactly when.

“Well, it's up. This is his room, Darling.” That sentence dawned on me from the various shadows that were messing up.

A door to the room that Aunt Maria had just opened, I passed by with a giant step. My eyes circulated sweeping around the map which was the equivalent of the living room in my village, was the room I would stay in from this moment to the next.