CEO AND WIDOW 2 CHILDREN

Preparation for France

"okay, let's look at the details" Angel said over a drink

I nodded, taking a little food. Me and Angel were at the restaurant for lunch. The day before departure to Epernay, France. "Your suitcase is ready"

Angel took a small book to check and read the list of preparations he wrote.

"uh-uh."

Angel wrote the first list of his book.

"Hair - already" Angel continued reading Clara's list of preparations. "Promise meeting - already" Angel continues to read the list he made himself.

I keep eating my lunch. Not very excited for next week's activities.

"Oh..." Angel scrunched her forehead. "Have you waxed yet, Ra?

I roll my eyes.

"There's been a lot of opportunities at this conference, Ra." Angel continued

"who really is lu Ngel?" I looked at him flatly. "would you ask me to go to France, just to sleep with someone?"

"well.." - YEAH..." Angel put her shoulder up "why not?"

"Angel.." I kept the knife and fork in the plate. "*** was the last thing I wanted. I'm still married to a man."

Angel's face turned sad and kept her little book "but you haven't, Clara" Angel clasped Clara's hand on the dinner table "Ryan died 5 years ago, honey. . . . And I know for sure Ryan doesn't want you to live alone forever."

I was shocked to hear Angel's statement.

"Ryan would have wanted you to live life to the fullest... You all are."

I started to feel something in my throat.

"Ryan would want you to be happy, cared for ..and loved"

"i just.." I replied softly.

"i'm just what Ra? Ask Angel

"I just don't feel like I'm going to be able to move on, Ngel" I replied sadly. "how can there be a man who lives on a par like Ryan Anderson?

"there will be no one to replace Ryan, Clara. He's your husband." Angel smiled "I mean, go date, have fun... That's aja"

"maybe" I lied

"it's necessary to take off your wedding ring, Ra and move it into the other hand."

My tears are starting to fill up

"there will be no men approaching you because they will think you're married, Ra"

"i'm glad that, Ngel"

"Ryan not Ra. And when he finds someone for you, he'll definitely send that guy to you. But you have to be ready"

I looked at Angel while crying

"Ryan is still the same you, Ra. He will always be in your heart.believe me Ryan will always watch you from there. You have to take it off, Ra"

My eyes are still staring at Angel

"it didn't die in an accident with Ryan, Ra. Live while you can"

I lowered my head and looked at my plate, my appetite decreasing instantly

"gue will book a waxing place this afternoon"

I took the knife and fork again. "they have to use the machete.. Mine's been like a bush"

Angel laughed "well, the bushes should be cut immediately"

...****************...

I also arrived home. My house and Ryan's. A house full of memories. Instantly I remembered the incident that time when the police came and knocked on my door.

Flashbacks

"Are you really Clara Anderson's mom?"

"yes, right"

some time later it was monumental and painful. I still remember clearly what I felt, what I said and what I used.

I saw myself crying beside Ryan's body. Whispering into a lifeless body is an eternal promise.

"i will take care of and care for the children as you wish. I'll continue what we started. I will keep your dream alive... I pledge. I love you, my darling."

Flashback finished ~

Remembering Angel's words that Ryan will always be in my heart made me realize.

Ryan is gone

Ryan will not return

I know it's time..

It won't reduce the pain

But I can't imagine my life without Ryan. I know how I can do it.

I looked at my wedding ring and held it before I took it off.

My tears continued to flow; a burden that stifled my chest and I slowly began to remove the wedding ring from my ring finger and finally slipped away.

It feels light my hand without a wedding ring. I hate my hands without the ring.

I hate my life without Ryan's love.

I bowed my head in the car and allowed myself to cry.

...----------------...

I put my last pair of shoes in the suitcase "mommy thinks it's all done."

"mommy's been in the toothbrush yet?" ask Patrick to sleep in my room next to my suitcase

"yet, my mom still uses her toothbrush. Mami's in order tomorrow morning"

"okay"

"so, granma will be here when you get home from school tomorrow." I reminded Patrick again.

"yes yes mami, I remember." replied Patrick, turning his eyes away

"i have to call my mommy when Harry's naughty" Patrick sighed as he said what I asked

"yep, that's right"

yes, I have 3 boys. Jeandra's 17 and she's my personal bodyguard. Harry is 13 years old, I swear, I'm either a genius who can get a Nobel prize or he can be in jail. Harry's the most nosy kid I've ever known, always got in trouble at school.

And my last son, Patrick, was 9. Patrick is the opposite of Harry. Patrick is his sweet, gentle and sensible son and everything that is not in his brother. But Patrick worries me too, because Patrick was abandoned by his father when he was 4 years old. Patrick doesn't remember his father.

"okay, bacain list mami yaa" I asked

"Bb . . . " Patrick frowned while continuing to read "the clothes"

"business clothes."

"yes" Patrick smiled as he could almost

I ruffled her hair "check"

Patrick's clawing. "Rel . . . ". frowned again because of the stak

"Casual clothes?"

Patrick nodded his head

"check"

"Pj's" Patrick bowed his shoulders in the spirit of "ha, I know that"

"yes baby, look you are now grown and can read"

Patrick has dyslexia, and reads hard for Patrick but we can almost.

Patrick and I checked all the luggage I had to carry tomorrow.

I stared at my suitcase and my hands were on my waist "okay, I think it's done".