Bloody Pesantren

Perplexes

...Sometimes the problem is better in the pendam itself...

...Especially if we tell it to the wrong person...

...How do we trust the same people...

...Be careful it is necessary...

...Because the friend we trust, also has a friend whom he trusts...

...👽👽👽...

"Allahumma! Faces why, bent so?!" Himmi tilted her body to face me. I was just silent, busy with my mind now fully lodged in my brain.

"Even silence! Seriously, you don't fit in like a gini!" I snorted at Himmi, the feeling from earlier that ranted telling me to shut up who? isn't she.

I am still not interested in serving Himmi, my mind is still imagined my own picture that was fallen by Dela.

Is there any meaning to each of those scribbles? Or is it just a scribble because he is upset?

But does it have anything to do with my suddenly unnatural stomach ache?

Astaghfirullah, I shouldn't have so'udzon to that extent. I shook my head, dismissing the unwarranted suspicions that began to poison my mind.

I better focus on hearing what Abah has to say, so maybe my mind is safer than so'udzon to my friends.

Did not Allah SWT say in jonah verse 36, "And most of them do not follow except supposition, but the presumption is of little use to attain the truth. Verily, Allah knows what they do."

Even there are still many verses in the Qur'an that have forbidden us to misjudge or so'udzon to others.

Maybe it's true, I'm too exaggerated in interpreting the incident. I must be sure, maybe Dela has her own reasons for preventing me from connecting with Inspiration. He's my friend and my family, so there's nothing to think about.

But how can I not relate my life to Inspiration, while the reality that exists now, he is my husband. Even Adam and Grandma looked so fond of him. And all this time I've seen he's a good man, except me.

I breathed a rough breath, remembering the word 'husband' and his attitude that sometimes bled up to level 100 made me return inexhaustible with a fate that so confused me.

"Rome!" I woke up from my daydreams when Himmi shook my head. I snorted in annoyance, while looking at him panted. In addition to the brazen nyebelin this child also long ago, Astaghfirullah.

"What!" Ketusku, and intend to return to dive into the world of my daydream. But the question that was thrown from him made me instantly aware and widened my panicked eyes.

"I've noticed that from now on, keep on going! Have you been nyatet yet? That Abah is done" My gaze turned towards the book that was still closed in front of me. Before going to the bathroom I had already recorded some of what Abah explained, even that was only part, because usually there are my friends who are happy to give me their notes to copy to the book.

And now, what am I going to record? Maybe later when I return to the dormitory I will be punished because there is no evidence I follow the studies. Yeah, after coming home from here. Ustadzah will go into our room to check every note we have. If there is no or even many are incomplete, then the law will be ready to wait.

"Borrow!" I immediately picked up the book that Himmi was holding, not polite indeed, because it did not ask for permission properly and correctly.

Himmi gawked for a while but returned to her usual attitude.

"Luckily today I'm good, just think of it as my apology, which often bothers you" I glanced at him for a moment, as my eyebrows shot up.

"Good tumben, Neng!" Himmi rolled her eyes puffed.

" Five minutes! I'll give you five minutes" I want to refute, but it's free, there's no time left. Because santri is welcome to go back to the hostel. And of course the Ustadzahs are waiting in the hallway to secure who is still wandering here.

Fortunately, my hand has the ability to write fast, although the work is similar to the writing of a doctor. Which can only be read by the author.

But, I'm grateful. At least I'm free of punishment.

"Ra, where were you sitting?" Iqlima who had indeed returned to the dormitory first, immediately approached me.

"So sitting with Himmi, you guys I was looking for, but there was nothing in sight" Iqlima nodded in understanding.

"Where are Nisa's friends?" I who only found Iqlima and Dela in the room, immediately looked for the whereabouts of two of my friends.

"Still on top, their father's mother came to cool down" This time I'm the one who understands. My gaze turned towards Dela who was still silent, not budging in the least. He seems to be a lot of burden on the mind, but I know how smart he is to hide it all.

Of all the people I know, he's the only one I've never seen complaining or grieving.

"Del, what's wrong with you?" I tried to melt the atmosphere back with him. I can't think too much about what happened.

"Not to interfere!" I stared at Dela in disbelief.

What's wrong with me? Until his attitude completely changed now. And what did he just say? Intervened? Though all this time he always reminded us to always be open if there is a problem, especially if it is between us.

Iqlima rubbed my shoulders, hinting to be patient.

"Del, it can't be. Dela was discovered not nyatet same Ustadzah Salma. So now he's been sentenced to nulis istighfar 5000 times."

Dela snorted then came out, I still stared at her departure with a wondering heart. What's up with him? he's not usually like this. Does this have anything to do with the ultimatum he gave me.

"Udah Ra, don't think about it. Later Dela will also return to normal"

I sucked in a sigh of resignation, I'm not sure Dela would behave as usual again like me. I just realized one thing how did Dela know that I had nothing to do with Inspiration? What else does he really know?

"Ma" Call me soft, Iqlima did not answer. But his eyes immediately looked at me.

"Am I wrong with Dela or are you guys? It's possible that I didn't realize I'd done something that made you uncomfortable with me" Iqlima knitted his brow in confusion. If there is no problem, why did Dela's attitude change like this, but last night everything was still fine.

"Why are you asking like that?" Iqlima hesitated to ask. Do I have to tell you about what really happened. Maybe I should tell the same story Iqlima, because he is the only one who often hears my complaints, and even give solutions or just calm me.

"So.. I found a photo..." I doubted again, lest I tell you everything would be more complicated.

"I found a picture of me, and the photo was scrawled with strange words" Iqlima looked stunned.

"And the photo was in Dela" Iqlima seemed to think for a moment. Finally, I tried to smile at him.

"Ra, Husnudzon alone, maybe it wasn't Dela's. We know for ourselves, Dela has a sister like how, maybe it's her job" I looked down, true what Iqlima said. I shouldn't have to feel this bad.

"Thank ya" I hugged Iqlima tightly, without him maybe I was just a grain of gravel.

"Ra, said Ustadzah Salma, there's a call for you!" The sound of yelling was out of nowhere, because I didn't see clearly what it looked like. Farsightedness effect.

"Yes, wait!" Shouted, then got up.

"I went to Ustdazah's room first Ma" Iqlima smiled and nodded.

In the middle of the road, I ran into Dela. Again he ignored me. I have to keep thinking positive, Dela may be bad mood again.

"Assalmu'alaikum"

"Wa'alaikumussalam, enter Ra!" Ustadzah Salma immediately gave me a flat object that from earlier he held.

"From your family" I stared at the confused Ustadzah.

"grandmother?" Ustadzah shook his head, which made me squint my forehead.

"Ustadzah went out for a while huh, Ra" I nodded, then stuck the flat object in the ear.

"God...."

"Why you?" The inspiration? I didn't mis-mark people's voices, did I? Why would he call Ustadzah Salma? Or don't you watch me again?  Geez! Don't let me get that bitch man.

"Ra, you're still there, right? it's me Inspiration!" I immediately glanced at the door, making sure Ustadzah had not returned, could be critical to the wat if Ustadzah to know.

"Why did you call here? Want to die again?!" I tried to keep my voice down.

"Ngapain is looking to die calling you? if you're looking to die, then...."

"Old! What's up!" It could be Ilham hijak gelut through handpone.

"I miss" I was stunned, I was sure a tinge of red had crept across my cheek.

"But boong, Hahaha. Cieee is embarrassed! But not so Hahaha" I held back furious. O Allah, there could be a model man he is lying on the face of this earth.

"If nothing matters, I'm dead!" I was really made to be upset by him.

"Ok, I'm seius! But don't matiin" I undo the intention to press the red screen on this flat object.

"What! Scribbles! Ustadzah will be in a hurry"

"Ciee's afraid of being discovered!"

"Yahoo!!!" My growl. What a human this one, I think need in ruqiyah.

"You got a problem? Is something going on? Something not right? I saw earlier in the assembly that you were just daydreaming" I was silent, from where Ilham saw, so from then on he was watching me. Why am I not aware?

I want to answer, but can't Inspiration read my mind?

"Don't you know what my head is!" Rutukku upset.

"I can't! You're too far!" So he can only know what I think, if I'm close to him.

I frowned for a moment, maybe for now it's better he doesn't know, before everything I feel clear.

"I'm just hungry. You know for yourself that I'm hungry like how" Inspiration kept silent for a moment, it seemed like he was digesting my words.

"Thank God, if you're okay. But remember! Don't try to hide anything from me!"

"Yes bawel! I'm dead on the phone, I'll hunt Ustadzah back!"

"One more!"

"What! Hurry along!"

"Nyeritain privacy to friends we trust should be careful. Can't be careless, because the friend we trust also has a friend who he believes.understand?!" I still digest what Inspiration says, what does it mean? Inspiration sounds sighing.

"You're smart! But slow!"  I lifted my lips next to him, so good he said I was slow.

"If you only want to..."

"Yes, I'm closed. Don't miss, even if I knew you'd miss"

"Medes..."

Tut.tut.

"Yes!!! bummer is so a person! It's over again!"

I stared at the flat object flat, again I hated my brain which was easily thought of by people's words.