Bloody Pesantren

Longs

When the hand is no longer able to hold

When the eyes can no longer see

When the body can no longer meet

the heart asks

how do I channel this miss?

Remember that!

You still have a do'a

skype his name, then that's the best intermediary your miss

👽👽👽

I walked slowly down a path not too far from my home. I could have had ojek put me down in front of the house, but I felt so missed this road. The road that used to be often me, father and mother pass to run in the morning. A road that holds memories of how a father taught his son how to ride a bike.

I smiled bitterly. Why was there an onion in front of my eyes when I started to recall those old memories. The togetherness is too short but leaves a deep impression.

Dad, mom. Rara longs.

One tear drop broke through, flowing down my cheek. I failed, I was too fragile to look strong.

Three years, it turns out that it has not been able to make me become a tough Rara, becoming a sister for Adam as well as being a father and mother figure for him.

In the past, Adam was too small even I was fifteen, when all that happiness was suddenly lost. The laughter that I miss when away from them, the warm embrace that I always get every time I leave and go home from school. Even after the hugs I still feel even though not every day.

But that day, everything changed. The laughter I heard, the thanksgiving I got over the phone for my graduation turned into grief. When suddenly the accident took away all that happiness.

Adam who is still in the womb must be removed by force for his salvation. Yes, I was happy because my sister was saved but the suffering was more pronounced that day because my parents could not be saved.

I blinked a few times, pushing the clear water out.

I'm trying to look as happy as I can because I'm going to meet grandma and Adam soon. Of course, because all this time what they saw was not a crybaby Rara not a weak Rara.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Grandma!" I opened a door that was not in the key.

"Sleepy kok? on where?" I walked towards the room, put a backpack containing only one set of my game and storybook of course.

"Grandma, Adam!!" I smell the smell of cooking, I immediately step foot into the kitchen. I saw Grandma again busy frying I don't know what possible. And Adam, a three-year-old boy was deftly cutting carrots near grandma, of course, helped with a chair to be able to reach the kitchen table.

Long ago, when I was Adam's age. Where ever in the kitchen what else is a carrot as great as that. But Adam, ever since he was born even at the age of three years, he has learned a lot and tried not to trouble me and grandma.

Adam was smart, and he should have been good at talking too, but I never heard him say a word.

"Ra, are you home?" Grandma's voice resuscitated me. I saw Adam stop cutting the carrot, get down from the chair and come up to me.

"Yes, from earlier. But Adam's grandmother looked serious again"

"Grandma didn't hear, understandably old" I crouched down as Adam grabbed my hand for her salim.

"Sir Rara, how are you?" Adam glanced at me and smiled, I know that means he's okay. I try to give him my best smile. Adam suddenly kissed my two eyes in turn. rubbed his little thumb on both of my cheeks.

Am I crying? Why am I this cute now?

I immediately wiped away the tears that Adam had seen.

"K-sister..Lala, don't be sad" I gasped at Adam. Did I not hear wrong? Adam talk?

I turned to look at Grandma, who happened to be staring at the two of us. Make sure I'm not dreaming. Grandma smiled and nodded.

"Oh God, Adam..." I hugged Adam tightly, I can't speak anymore. Thank you, God. Finally, after a long time, Adam wanted to talk.

I cried hugging him, I felt that tiny hand caressing my shoulder.

"Sister Rara, not sad" Adam looked at me confused, because I said not sad but in reality crying.

"This is called crying happy, because Adam was willing to talk" Adam again just smiled. Nothing, just one sentence, can make me happy. One great advance was hearing Adam speak.

"Yes, let's keep helping grandma cook, Adam laper, right?"  He nodded, I immediately stood up and held his hand toward Grandma.

"Adam continued to cut the carrots yes" He nodded then tried to get on the chair without the help of me or grandma.

As a brother, I am very proud. Seeing him who is still so small but has tried to be independent like this.

If my father and mother were still alive. I'm sure they'll be more proud than me.

"Grandma, how much cooking is that? want thanks?" I just realized, the portion of grandma's cooking is not as usual.

I took a spatula from Grandma's hand, replaced it with frying. It turns out that from earlier the fried grandmother was fish.

The fishes? I don't like fish.

"Geez, how do you fry fish? Rara does not like fish. There's a lot more frying"

"Adam, do you like fish?" I don't really know what food Adam likes other than ice cream. Adam nodded.

"Udah fried aja Ra, you are still young and forgetful" I muttered unclear, what I missed actually. Oh grandma makes Rara dizzy.

I went back to chattering trying to get Adam to talk. Once he wants to talk again, but until I run out of breath, run out of chatter even until all the fish are mature and are grandma make up in use sambal, chili, Adam did not take out a single letter. He only laughs occasionally.

I sat in a chair near Adam, after he finished cutting the carrot, he was busy himself with his drawing book and his color pencil. All the cooking is done, the kitchen furniture is finished I wash. Now I just look at the grandmother who is setting the dining table.

Tumben really granny cook a lot of gini?

A few minutes later, I heard the bell ringing.

" Ra, take a look. I think there is a guest" I immediately got up, but before I smelled the scent of my body, sometimes the guest was handsome. Astaghfirullah, Istighfar Ra.

"Faith" I muttered, tidying up the hijab a little then immediately ran to open the door. Guests are kings, so don't wait too long.

"Wa'alaikumussalam, Search sia..." I was stunned to see who was standing in front of the door.

"Ilham's? are you still outside? Ra, why is Ilham not invited in"

"Grandma know this guy?" I unconsciously pointed to Inspiration. Grandma came to us with a wrinkled face looking confused.

"You think that's Ra? grandma obviously knows. Inspiration, your husband" My eyes immediately rounded perfectly. My mouth was open inevitably.

Inspiration once said that, but I guess he was just messing around. And now my grandmother says the same thing. Is it true? but how can.

"Jaudah come in come on, grandma already masakin your favorite fish" Ilham smiled kindly towards grandma and then entered past me.

"Oh my God, who made this scenario of Rara's life?" I immediately closed the door, walking around Grandma and Ilham. They both look so familiar, my grandmother seems so happy that Inspiration is here.

I snorted in annoyance, like my position as a favorite grandson will soon be replaced.

O God, which planet is this inspiration actually from? Why he went to earth.

"Sir Inspiration!" Again I was stunned to see the scene of Adam running happily to embrace Inspiration.

My sweet sister.in me, your beautiful, sweet, cute sister, you never look that happy when you meet.

"Assalamu'alaikum, big brother! How's it going?"

"Wa'alaikumussalam, Adam's good brother. Where did Ilham go? how can you not say the same about Adam?" What's with all this, Grandma who looks so familiar with Inspiration overcomes her familiarity with me. And now, Adam who was so chatty met with Inspiration. The problem is that this child is so quiet, even talking about it the first time I heard.

"Miss, Rara wants to talk for a while" I whispered, then took Grandma away from Inspiration and Adam.

"What's up, Ra? kok tugged at grandma" I took a few breaths, calming down from this shock.

"Grandmother, who is he?Why is he here?" Grandma frowned which had indeed started to wrinkle.

"Him? Inspiration you mean?"

"I-yes who else is Grandma"

"When you don't know your own husband" I scratched my non-itchy head.

"Grandmother, where did you try? Rara's not married yet, she's still in school"

"Are you senile or what about Ra? You guys obviously got married three years ago"

"Aah!" The words in my brain dictionary were up, there was nothing fitting to define my surprise.

"Sir, Udah azan magrib, we pray together first. This problem will be a clear inspiration to Rara"

"Yes Ham, grandma so follow confused" Grandma left me who was still sculpting.

"No mouth need to be that, want to pray together no?" My reflexes shut my mouth.

"Yes-yes! anomie! Mouths me too" I walked straight into the room. Why do I have to be met with a human like this.

"Eh.hh! Where you going? Play nyelonong get in! Guest room is in sono no!"

"Why scream Ra? Grandma's ears that have been sucked next to it, until the pain heard it"

"This is a human being! play in Rara's room!"

"Well, that's your room, since Ilham came home from Egypt he slept there "

"Aah!?"

"That's why if Grandma says go home, go home. My husband came home from Egypt and didn't know"

"Aah!?"

Inspiration passed me who was still laying hands in the doorway. Inspiration to sleep in my room? I followed him, too many questions that made my head look like a cobweb. Branching everywhere.

"Obviously it's all the same to me!" Inspiration who was about to take the holster in the closet undoes his intentions, he immediately turned around, looking at me shady.

Wait-wait. When did my clothes turn into men's clothes. I ran towards the closet, making Ilham who was standing right in front of her shift a step.

"Allahuacbar!! Abaghfirullah!" I don't know how many times my life has almost drifted, surprised.

"This?.... Ck, why is my closet half, it's a guy's shirt?" And I just realized, my room decor is also different. A little neat, but still the room that included my privacy was changed as good as jidat.

"Ra, pray first. Maghrib's time is few. I'll explain later" I'm silent, not huffing. But I let Ilham take his scabbard in the closet. After that, he immediately went into the bathroom.

"Astaghfirullah's..." I tried to calm my mind. I think I'm going crazy.

I immediately took a face and left my room. For the first time in history, I had a room, but I had to get out.

Especially for Inspiration, I will not enact a saying that says Guest is king.

👽👽👽

Although I was still upset with Ilham but I could not deny, his voice when he became our prayer priest, made me feel peaceful. Even I could percolate verse by verse that he read.

"Assalamu'alaikum warrahmatullah"

Why is this heart really taste.

"Adam, will you lead the do'a?" The voice of Inspiration awakened me. Adam nodded steadily.

"Bismillahmanillahim... O Allah, always buy health for grandmother, Lala and Ilham, so that they do not leave Adam like father and mother. O Allah.. Says Brother Ilham, if adam misses father and mother. Adam smooth beldo...Father and Mother are happy there. May Adam do'a O Allah Amiin..."

I was stunned, however great Adam was, he was just a kid. Who still desperately need the love of parents. As a brother, what have I given you? there's none. I even choose to rarely go home on vacation. Because being in this house for a long time will only open the wound and make me hit again. But I forgot that Adam was hit harder than me.

"Rba..." I looked over, as my grandmother rubbed my shoulders.

I immediately wiped my eyelids that turned out to be dewy. revealed the happiest smile to grandma.

O Allah. forgive Servant. How ungrateful I have been all this time.