Blood Stained Love

Between Rela And No

Love does not have to have, seeing it happy is also happiness for me. But I want to have that love even if it's impossible.

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Pov Kemal's

I speak a thousand languages like a silent statue there. Even to look at the friend in front of me I was reluctant. Now that I realize what was said was the truth, I should not interfere in their family affairs. 

I now regret having interfered, I regret being here. If I hadn't been here, maybe the situation wouldn't have been like this. Cevdav's words were still clearly heard in my ears.

You're who? You have no right to interfere, you're just an outsider who has no right to interfere.

His words really pierced into my heart right into my heart. My chest felt tight right now, my heart was so sore hearing those words coming out directly from the woman's mouth. The woman I loved but we took refuge with the word 'friend' but it didn't seem like the word made her know that I was doing it for her sake. 

I let out a heavy sigh staring in his direction for a moment. " lt.. Ma.. I'd better go first. I have some business to do!" I better avoid it for now.

" Kemal thank you for bringing Cevdav here.." I just smiled in response to what the old man said I was my own Papa.

" It's my job to bring my best friend home if there's a problem, but it looks like Cevdav doesn't accept that Pa. No problem.." I glanced at him with my tail. I know he's looking at me too but I'm trying not to look at him right now.

" Rubber"

" It's okay Ma. I have to go there's work I have to do.." I cut off what I want to say I don't care if he's looking at me right now.

I quickly stepped up and died, all there, I didn't want to look back because it was too painful for me to remember.

" Kemal wait.. Kemal.. stop your step.." I heard someone calling me and who was chasing me I kept going because I knew who it was.

" Kemal wait for me. We have to talk.." I don't care if I keep going even though Cevdav keeps chasing me.

" Kemal.." He managed to catch my wrist to make me stop. 

I remained silent even though I had stopped, the disappointed and hurt race in saying that I was nobody made me so sick. 

" Kemal forgive me. I know I was wrong but I didn't mean to say that.." Our eyes looked up but I kept silent. He who was standing in front of me made me uneasy.

His glassy eyes made this heart shatter into pieces. Seeing him sad to cry because someone else just made me sick now he is crying because of me, actually I do not intend to make him cry but his words really offend me.

" There's nothing we need to talk about Cev and there's nothing I need to forgive or you're sorry that what you said just now is true. I shouldn't have interfered I'm just a stranger and someone else in your family." 

" No! Don't talk like that. You are my best friend whom I consider my own brother, so don't talk like that. I just felt too emotional.." This time his tears flowed like a heavy rain.

She was either crying because of me or crying because of her problems with her husband. " Cevdav stop your tears, don't cry anymore. Please.." I gave up I was also riled up to see that water of sorrow.

" You don't want to forgive me. hiks.." I can't stand to see him cry, I lose and I'll never win if I see these tears of sadness.

I hugged her with a chaotic feeling, she cried in my arms. Her body trembled I know she was sad, the problem was too much. I stroked his back so he could be calmer.

" Not crying, I forgive you." I still lose I can't fight my wounded heart. I was sick to see her tears of sadness. " Don't make me the most brengse friend*let you cry like this."

" You forgive me, don't you? You're not gonna stay away from me?"

" No! I'm not gonna do it. An older brother can't stay away from his sister." I used the word 'brothers to stay here. Even though my heart still wants more than that.

" Thank you!" He hugged us tightly as if we were brothers and sisters who were now giving us full strength when one of us felt sadness.

I've agreed to let him go, let him be happy with another man. I even compromised with my heart. But in fact now I still think of her still expecting her to be mine even though it was impossible.

Love does sometimes need sacrifice it takes mental readiness to release it but what is my power if this heart is still fixated on one name, still loving the same woman from the past. Hiding from the word 'friend' actually hurts because he never knew what I was feeling.

Lord why are you so cruel to me, you always knew that I loved him so much, loved him more than anything. Yesterday it was as if all my hopes were granted, letting this heart be anchored to him. After you had tossed my heart out now you dropped it to the bottom.

Only you can refute this feeling, only you can find this heart with destiny and I can do nothing when destiny has said, when God does not unite us with the bond of love.

" I let go of her but I still wish her love, am I selfish if I still wish for her love.." I know her love will not be for me, I realize it will never happen.

I thought that if I saw him happy then I would be happy but no, seeing him happy with another man even broke my heart, seeing him smile for another man made my world seem to collapse instantly. But seeing him hurt by another man even made me more devastated. Her tears are my weakness, her tears are tight for me. 

God, am I wrong if I wish that he would still be mine, whether now or tomorrow. I always hoped that you would keep us united in a bond of love even though I was not sure of the destiny that would bring us together again.