Beware

the hope that is lost

this morning I went to the bathroom.I see mas Damar still asleep on his sofa.when he used to, always wake up ahead of me.

after finishing the bath, I continued to observe her. mengapa mas damar has not also wake up even though it is almost 05.30 hours,

I ventured closer to mas damar, mas damar moaning.I hold his forehead, his hot silence I immediately worried.

I immediately called ibuk,

" buk.mas damar fever ma'am, "I approached ibuk. who was watching TV in the Central room.

" oh, allah.damar why nduk? "

we both panicked.and headed straight for the room I immediately raised the head of the mas damar to my lap.

my tears immediately fell. I could not bear to see mas damar like this, I immediately nenelfon salsa and asked for his help.

" Halloh. sal please pick me up mas amar sick, must be taken to the hospital immediately" I said as he stammered

" wait for me ".

fifteen minutes later, Salsa picked us up.I immediately helped mas damar get into the car.

" mom's home, well, don't go "

" iyh wis nduk. hopefully your mas is fine" said the mother while shedding tears.

I know you must be worried too, the first new color in our marriage that almost two months, I see mas damar sick to moan.

arriving, at rs the doctor asked that mas damar be treated, I was shocked what pain mas damar so severe. murmured me in heart while folding my hands on my waist.

two hours later, I was just allowed in, I saw he lay weak so helpless when like this I just realized it turns out mas damar need an important role to keep him, he said,

to his morning esokan the nurse brought me.breakfast morning I want to feed mas damar but mas damar monolak.

" i bribe mas. " said I

" do not run.mas can still hold its own spoon "

I just nodded, and took off the spoon.I saw her phone ringing Elsarah's name written on it.

" please get me my phone "he said as his hand pointed.

I immediately took her, and the bathroom permit.I know there may be a lot of things they are talking about.Rather than I have to be hurt to listen to their talk I better avoid.

after I heard, mas Damar finished chatting I went straight out of the bathroom.

" m-m-m-all it? " Tell me stale, ask,

he just nodded, I behind him did not ask much.I took a mancuk porridge in his hands, and helped him to clean his body and put it on, I took it,

short sleeve t-shirt.

I immediately rushed out of my husband's room. 20 minutes I went out. When I had just arrived at the door of my husband's room I saw a woman and mother, who were sitting next to the mas damar.

" when did mom come to buk? " ask me.

" new mother to nduk, "mother while approaching me.

" this is elsarah run, my working time" said mas damar connect.

we stared at each other.elsarah approached me and hugged while asking me news,

I was weakened even. Like a statue, it felt like it was not grounded.

I realized that elsarah first existed in the life of mas damar, what else mother also already knew him anyway.

once my mother did not marry her son to the girl of her dreams.

honestly at this time I'm really disappointed.I see the closeness of mother and elsarah, again,

even the food that I bought was tasteless, but I bought fish and sauteed kale, my favorite.

in my mind immediately thought, I have to leave all this. I also have the right that I keep my head down I can not hold their conversation, they said, my tears almost fell but I wiped them with the tip of my hijab.

I remember two years ago before marriage, I wanted this wedding only for one time I stopped the advice of Ustazah my cottage once. live only once dead even once fell in love too once. but what happens is that I have fallen in love with mas damar but reached mas damar to repay my love with wounds.

I can't stand this cry anymore it feels like my cry will fall before them,

" buk.mas.mba.m I go ahead for a while to throw garbage." said I tampa glance.

immediately I open the door and be this cry as it happens, I entered the toilet a lot of women'se my age who saw my eyes moist but I did not ignore.

my crying became more and more.I feel enough I walk through my household with mas damar. For two months I was quite silent as I put my burden on her mother, her mother,

and today how could he present elsarah in front of me directly. I know they were found early. I know this marriage is based on arranged marriage.but can't he appreciate my feelings.

15 Minutes.I was in the bathroom as I lamented the fate of my marriage.

" when I enter the room mas damar I will immediately ask him two choices? I hope that woman has gone home "my mumbling in heart

arriving in the room mas damar I saw my mother and elsarah also beluh home.they were still cool talking.

" iyahhh. nduk mom said back home well.all this in between elsarah " 15 minutes after her.

" iyah ma'am.busy heart on the road well. mother do not eat late also said doctor mas damar tomorrow also can go home kok "my word to mother.

when elsarah and mother came home, I immediately prepared to talk about this all to mas damar.

mas Damar continued to look at me who from earlier I looked at him with a cynical look.