Army Angel: The Dark Side

Fear and Heartiness

Day after day we continued to fight, until finally in the second month I was appointed Commander for our platoon because of the death of Captain Harish in the last battle.

During these 2 months I have completely lost my guilt in killing my enemies. 

Indeed, the second battle was the peak of my anxiety because at that time I had to fight during the day so that I could see my enemies.

At that moment my hands were unceasingly shaking and cold sweat was pouring all over my body.

When the doubt hit me, at that moment my foot was hit by a bullet.

The heat and pain then turned into aching pain down my left thigh. Red blood seeped and dripped on my feet.

Fearful. At that time the fear of death hit me amid a barrage of bullets that hit.

However, it was at this point that I began to realize something.

''If I don't kill them, they will kill me.''

This is the absolute law of the battlefield.

Doubt has caught me off guard and hit by enemy fire.

Not only that, because of that doubt, many members of my army also died!

Nah! I won't make them fall again! Doubt is weakness! I will not doubt anymore! In fact, even a hundred enemies I will slaughter when they try to hurt my people!

With that rounded determination, I pressed the trigger in my gaze against them.

•••

It has been 2 months and for two months we have been fighting non-stop.

During the hard battle I had gone through I managed to kill 63 people with my hot lead.

"Excellent commander! If this battle is over, you will definitely get awards and more rate hikes!"

The one who spoke was Letda. Andre's. He was a member of my team first. Now he has become the leader of the squad himself as well as my representative.

It was in front of the bonfire that we spoke.

" Haha no-no, I think it's normal. After all, haven't many managed to kill over 60 as well?"

"What did you say? That's not possible! Even according to reports, Captain Beck in Platoon 3 only got 43 enemies and it was done in 4 months since the war began! Your achievements are truly amazing!''

"Is that so? Well, I guess that's a regular thing considering we've been assigned to the front lines a lot lately."

''M-Sorry, commander? But, if I may know how it feels?''

"What flavor? This coffee?"

"Well, if you ask me what it's like, hm. I think it's normal. I pulled my trigger to protect the people behind me, so it felt as if there was a responsibility to kill those who hurt people who were precious to me! For it feels like I cannot draw that feeling.''

Hearing that, Andre's eyes glittered then said,

" Wow you're really awesome Commander! I've been happy to be with you since you became the group leader."

Wonderful huh?  I think your judgment is wrong!

Killing and feeling ordinary?

How can that be awesome?

I'm more afraid of myself!

The fact that I felt nothing after shooting them, added to the horror in my heart!

Is my heart numb?

Even in the last battle yesterday I killed 2 children who tried to attack me with grenades!

Even though it was a child, I did not hesitate to pull my trigger.

Hearing the agonizing groan of one of the children whose grenade was not pulled by the trigger, even a feeling of pity was no longer in my heart.

In return, I only fired another bullet to end his suffering.

Whether it was the best decision, right or wrong. However, I think it is better this way than I have to hesitate again in making a decision so that the victims will fall into the supply.

"You must fight too! You're already the squad leader now! The responsibility of your members is on your shoulders! Make the right decision and without hesitation!"

" Ready, commander! I will do that!"

"Oh, by the way, aren't you getting married after the war?"

" Ah Yes. After this war is over I will marry my fiancee. Later on you guys will also I invite especially you commander!"

" I'm waiting for that from you! Do not forget to prepare a lot of food for us hahaha"

"If that's the case, commander! But it's even better if you are the one who cooks considering your cooking is the best!"

"Importantly there is a bonus anyway okay!''

'' Hahaha you could have!"

Our conversation continued until I finished my coffee and returned to my tent.