YOU ARE MY PRIEST

YOU ARE MY PRIEST 18

Time is spinning fast, Word and Ryan are not home yet. My eyes were still staring at the wall clock in my mother's house, the feeling of worry and fear mixed into one.

"Assalammualad"

My eyes glanced at the door, a hoarse voice behind the door. I stared slowly at every entrance of my mother's house, my feet unable to move as stiff as I could.

"Hanum, who's outside?" cried my mother from the kitchen, I still tried to stand up. As a result I stood up but hesitantly, knocking on the door repeatedly I heard.

My hand grabbed the doorknob slowly pressing it down.

"Hanum," a beautiful voice rang out in my ear "When are you here ?."

"Are you really Bagas ? Please get out of here, "I said with sobbing Isaac, between believing and not the person I promised to be with was now in front of me.

"I beg you, meet me at the park when we were in High School. I beg Hanum, I don't like rejection" he said with a tight grip on my hand.

My eyes can't stand between longing and hatred, I'm happy to meet him I hate to have to snare such crazy love.

"Well, I'll meet you at 8pm tonight" I said, smiling at him.

"All right."

He sighed, then left me in the doorway. My eyes stared at his back until it was completely gone, for some reason I had to get entangled back in the past.

*****

My son and my husband have come home, I am not as usual. My mind thinks about my meeting with Bagas tonight, I don't think about betraying. But, I've been ensnared my race in the past.

"Darling, are you pale?" said my husband and touched my forehead "You hot?" His hand now turned to my neck to check my temperature.

"No dear, I'm just tired" I said with a faint smile.

"We just go home, right ? My feelings were not good," she said, her eyes looking at me fixedly, worrying about my current situation.

"No, we'll go home tomorrow. Oh yes, at 8 I have to go for a while there is a gathering of friends here," I said with a faint smile, my eyes hoping to be allowed Word to come out.

"Yes, can you take good care of yourself ? You know why I asked so?" he said, I just nodded in understanding.

****

The night has arrived, the clock shows at half 8 p.m. I don't have to dress up pretty, the most important thing is that I see her tonight.

"Darling, I'm leaving first. Take care of Ryan," I said and hugged my husband, then I turned to my son who was in deep sleep, and I kissed my angel cheeks.

"Heart, right you don't want to be in between?," He told me, I just shook my head slowly and smiled.

"Darling, I can take good care of myself. Don't worry, I'll leave first I love you."

****

Arriving in the garden, I placed picking my favorite flowers, my eyes sparkled to see this plant bright and has a natural fragrance. Suddenly my body in the arms of someone from behind was so tight that I could not release the circle of his hands on my stomach.

"Hanum baby, long time I haven't hugged you like we used to."

"Bagas, let go"

"It's not that easy, close your eyes"

"What's up ? What do you want to do Bagas"

His hand now turned to my shoulder, twisting my body right in front of him. Cream clothes, black pants look suitable on the body Bagas. Her eyes looked at me as if she did not expect, she always smiled many times making it even sweeter.

"Already, stop Bagas. I must hurry home," I argued, I immediately turned away.

"Hanum, gohome. Just call me, if you want to meet the phone I'll come to see you," he said, then handed him a piece of paper and said his mobile number.

"I'll call you when I need it."

My feet are moving away, why are my feelings changing? When beside him I was so comfortable I was really afraid of losing, when I was with the Word I always wanted to be grateful and I did not want him to go. Shit, I've caught my story first. I barely know what I'm doing, I'm too stupid to take this lightly.

****

My feet stepped towards the stairs of my mother's house, Mas Firman still watching tv I just glanced at him without welcoming him. My footsteps walked so slowly up each staircase, my mind was out of place.

"I go to sleep, right away" my mind

****

The light of the sun shone so bright, I smiled seeing my son could be happy with his father, I was preparing a snack for them.

"Darling, ready for the snack" I cried, my feet toward them. Their smiles on me are so sweet.

"Mama, papa was cheating," he said, looking at me sweetly, "what the hell." Grumpily

"The name is also your father son, listen to your father is ignorant." Add, Ryan laughed off looking at his papa.

"What's a prankster?" asked Ryan staring innocently, and I just smiled faintly.

"Like cheating son," I replied, Word looked at me stiffly, and I just smiled in relief.

"Oh yeah, I have a job here." Word looks at me.

"Then?, what is your job there?," My forehead shriveled and did not understand the company.

"Somehow, I'm on the phone to be ready to pack away to move in the area. And, all my files there have been moved here, tomorrow I've started work." Obviously, I was just smiling happily but my mind suddenly remembered Bagas.

"We walk the road yuk," invite the Word, I immediately agree to his invitation.

*****

Geck... Geck...

I quickly opened the door, my eyes catching the Fatimah figure in front of me. She smiled sweetly at me, but she was alone without being with her husband and son.

"Fatimah, are you here ? Quickly enter," I said and took him in.

"May I speak with the Word ?" He asked, I spontaneously called the Word.

Word came to us, I immediately went to make drinks in the kitchen. Suspicion and jealousy floundered in my mind, how could Fatimah never take Bagas from me, and lie to me over her pregnancy that she was pregnant with Bagas' child. But, is it possible that he will take the Word ? I saw that she was very happy with her Husband, although she did not expect such, I did not expect the Word just yet.

A cup of sweet tea is well made. I immediately gave this cup of sweet tea to her, my steps halted at the border of the kitchen and living room.

"If Bagas does come back, I'll have Hanum with him. I've taken what's not mine, if she asks for it I don't matter, it all depends on how Hanum."

My eyes were wide, my legs were stiff, my body was very limp, my lips opened. His words really hurt me, he promised to take care of me. But, why ? He's changing now.

"Honey, Fatimah wants to go home" cried the Word.

My breath is big, I try to smile. Pura pura do not know what about what, my legs stepped trembling, my mind was really tormented.

"And I made sweet tea for my friend" I said, lifting the tip of my lips slowly. My feelings hurt to look at Word, I don't know, ever since I said it I felt like he wasn't my husband I knew.

"Geez, don't be like that. I'm just talking business with your husband, you don't have to bother." He answered gently, his gaze sweet on me.

What will be hidden again, you are too great to hide it

"Oh yes, I also have to visit suip and my son. Hahaha, until I forget that he is at my friend's house," he said with a small laugh, "yes I've come back first, when do we tell together again. I'm sorry I haven't been able to tell you much Hanum, hehe."

Fatimah's feet stepped away from my mother's house, and followed the feet of Word and my feet. My smile was in disbelief, as I stared at my best friend's back.

"I'll be out for a little while" I said without looking at the Word, he just agreed to my request.

The wind slammed between my windows, my gaze facing the sky. My heart still hurts to hear that, my feeling as if I can't believe what happened.

I would be disappointed if he would let me down later

"Darling, are you okay?" said the Word beside me just now.

"If I become entangled in the past, what do you do?" I asked without further ado, my eyes looking at the atmosphere outside without looking at the Word.

"What do you mean ? You've met Bagas," the question posed to me, made me look at the Word so sharply.

"Yesterday, I've met him."

Her lips could not open, her eyes were soft. He seemed disappointed in me, but I tried my best.

"Didn't you give me up?" This question left him unable to do anything, the pain clearly visible in his eyeballs.

I turned to face the room door, stepped forward to leave. I can't stand this situation, my life's only been halved since it happened. Seeing the figure of a man who makes me grateful, now makes me fall down deeper.

******

I sat among the flowers in the garden, my eyes closed to stop my tears from falling. Not that I have the heart with him, during my walk family I have never fought so far, especially about my feelings with Bagas.

"You want to get some air, come with me."

My forehead is wrinkled, not that I don't even know him.

"Bagas, not now ! I'm lazy" I said without opening my eyes at all, I couldn't be lied to by any sound I memorized his voice and manner of speech.

"Firman hurt you ? Why did you marry her?" asked me, I only smiled sweetly as she told me that.

"Where were you then ? Promise to marry me ? And it turned out to be gone, hehehe and when my household was 3 years old, you just came without a word. Suddenly you said you missed me, hahaha."

"I have a certain reason for you" she said nervously, I just smiled cynically and closed my eyes.

"No ! You're married to mella." My firmness, my eyes opened slowly staring at him sharply. He just stared at me.

"All right, I'm married. And you are also married what's wrong with us continuing our love first. They'll understand, without explaining." Clearly to me, his eyes were expecting me back.

I don't know why I feel confident and believe, even though I have been hurt, especially when my wedding he did not come to ask me.

"You are right to bring yourself," I said and smiled sweetly at him, "let's go."

He smiled proudly, his eyes twinkling at me. His hand reached my hand, "listen, until I shall not leave you a second time" he promised, with a sweet smile to me very sweet.

*****

Time has passed so quickly, my laughter passed with him. I don't know, I was hypnotized by him, his smile was so sweet that he fell on me.

"You're going home straight away ?" Ask me the bagas facing me.

"Then ? I have to be with you again ? Anyway, it's late afternoon my son must be looking for me right now." My eyes looked at him gently. He confirmed all my words.

"Goodbye tomorrow" I waved, "keep your health always."

*****

I came back home happy, yes, dating someone else is a sin. But, how else, I was disappointed in him.

"Why just got home," he came up to me in the doorway "Ryan was looking for you from earlier."

I stared at him sharply, "why ? Isn't this what you want, Mas?," My feet stepped away from her, I couldn't hold back the tears in front of her.

"Why change ? What's wrong with you ? Say !" His screams almost made me stop breathing, I was never snapped like anything with him.

"No, I'm tired" I said without looking at him and then walked back, "it's better Ryan has to sleep, too."

The steps were hard stalking me, I still acted not know, even though I already know what happened. My hand was drawn, his eyes were looking at me so sharply, his anger was uncontrollable. I just smiled at him, without any reply from him.

"You're dating him ?" He asked, his eagle eyes piercing my heart, fear etched into my eyes.

"No," my eyes glazed over, "if yes, it's none of your business !"

"You're saying it's none of my business ? You're my wife ! You have a son of my flesh and blood ! And you said I had no business ?" His eyes looked at me sharply, my lips opened.

His gaze grew sharper, I could not look at him for long.

"Let go of me, I have to sleep, I'm tired." I said, I looked at her slowly, my lips curled sweetly.

He just left, without any reply from my words. Regret ? I regret opening my heart to others. Stupid ? Indeed I am more stupid than the word stupid, I have no brain anymore even.

There was nothing I said, the blankets had illuminated me, from head to toe. My little cry accompanied me, regretting that it was always jolly in my brain.

Krakk...

"Darling, mama's tired you sleep papa temenin huh ?"

"Which mama," her voice raspy "I want to meet mama," crying.

"Mama's tired baby, tomorrow mama's home. Sleeping with papa first huh ?"

"Let's go here as papa darling, we sleep and meet superman !! Wuss"

Their cheer is not lost, though I hurt both. I'm curling my body, I'm getting sicker, I hate myself.

"I'm sorry baby, if I was emotional" said one man, stroking my head outside the blanket. His hands were soft, making me sleep in tears.

******

The morning has come, my son is still in my arms. Word has prepared my morning meal today, I feel wrong for yesterday's incident.

"How much money are you ?" I stared at the food on the table.

"Twenty-three, why ? Aren't we the same age, baby ?" He answered by looking at me gently.

"I forget that I'm all grown up" I explained, "my clothes are getting less and less."

He stepped towards, sitting under me, "what do you want clothes like ? I see your weight's up."

"Possibility goes up 3kg, but not ah ! I'll plan a diet "I said.

"Well, if it makes you happy. I'll take a shower soon, we'll go shopping for your needs right now."

She's not gonna change, I realized she's probably just emotional saying that. But why ? I'd better talk about this