When the Heart is Tired
when the heart is tired
tonight the weather feels cold as my heart has hurt by the people I love my own husband. Our marriage age has entered 10 years. We have a daughter who is now 8 years old. The marriage that I thought would last until I died turned out to be in a storm in the middle of the road.
" ma, papa, I'm sorry, papa khilaf". I just kept quiet and didn't answer my husband's words. It felt reluctant to talk to him, but I had to be able to hold back my emotions so that my son did not witness our quarrel. My son does not understand the problem of adults so tomorrow when my son goes to school I will discuss this problem.
Tonight I suffer all the anger of hurt and pain. Until my son fell asleep I couldn't think about why until my husband cheated on someone's wife again.
" ma please sorry papa ya". His voice was afraid to sound my son. " Tomorrow let's talk", I replied, "if you don't want to forgive me, let me eat all these pills" he threatened. It was a pill three days ago when he had a fever again. "just swallow "my answer again. "okay, maybe after papa left you just want to forgive papa" he said. He was seen clutching some pills in his hand. "look papa ate it all" he was reckless as well.
Instantly I panicked a little despite the heartache but I was still sane I was afraid that my husband would go really, wow can this case of suicide would later I also be blamed. " vomit dak" seruku. "it's my slack" he replied. I had to approach "quickly take young coconuts drink a lot of coconut water" I asked. "no ma, if you don't want to forgive papa let papa go". He is still clingy with his ego. "hmmm good is mama forgive, cepetan take young coconut drink coconut water" urged me. Let me forgive you tonight for threatening suicide.
That night I couldn't sleep these eyes didn't feel sleepy right away. All night I just sat there daydreaming. My husband apologized many times and took me to bed but it felt like this heart was empty.
it started this afternoon when I found a friendly SMS on my husband's phone with a married woman. I asked why should a man's wife if the intention of cheating why not look for a girl.
"how long has it been" I finally let out a voice to ask. "nearly a year" he replied. I took a deep breath in the tightness of it. It seems like their relationship has been around long enough. Why am I so stupid not to realize it.
All this time I rarely held hp. Most if there is a brother SMS or a new call hold hp. hp we are still old school can only for SMS and phone. I asked again" where to meet". "at work he often found fish there" he replied again. Pain means my husband is like the saying while diving drinking water, while working all can also date. Astaghfirullah I rubbed this chest. What a lack of me Until my husband cheated on people's wives. Though all this time I've been working to help the economy of our family, but really have you mas.
