WHEN THE HEART IS NUMB (I AM IN TURN 3 YOUTH)

WHICH MAN WOULD ACCEPT ME ?

Part 2 - WHEN THE HEART IS NUMB

Along the way they always do indecent things to me one young man occasionally punches my ass, another young man occasionally squeezes my breast. I was so scared along the way to the cornfield that they always told me to obey or they threatened to kill me but I always tried to scream and escape. My darling thousands of energy is not comparable to them even though they still look younger than me I feel like 21 or 22 years old or more or less all three I am also no stranger to their faces.

Sometimes I see him like to hang out there. Fendi, Yanto, and Supri as soon as I know them, actually the distance of their home is not too far away but they are famous for being very wayward.

"Emmppt emmmptt "my voice is still being held back.

"Silence ...! Don't worry, or we'll kill you. Follow all our orders and don't fight" one of the young men behind the back who was none other than Supri.

They had managed to bring my weak self to the middle of the cornfield, Supri pulled the veil I was wearing to silence my mouth .Yanto is also now tying my hands with a rope that I also do not know where he got it Fendi slowly began to strip my lower clothes. There my tears continued to linger, and the louder and more swift I could only resign to their depraved deeds. My body felt like it had disappeared flying somewhere until I could only cry without a sound, they forced my body alternately occasionally with a loose laugh that no one could hear.

I just kept asking for help in my heart, once in a while I was unconscious but when I realized again the incident was still continuing about my lower body ,it may have been out of shape because of their brutal behavior. While doing so they also occasionally groan other things with me that have flooded tears.

Once they are satisfied ,they left me in the cornfield just like Yanto only had time to open my mouth cover he knew that I could not scream my voice also gradually lost tears had also dried up. I am ashamed of myself that has been tainted my heart is also broken to pieces in my heart just remember the father and mother who will certainly be ashamed the words of Supri are still ringing in my small brain.

"Thank you dear" with a mocking satisfied smile.

You bastard !! It can only be revealed inwardly that I hate it, I am also disgusted not only with the three young men but also at my stained body. Though this body I have taken care of very well before, never have I been in a relationship beyond the limit even just liking or admiring never felt dating.

Until tonight the crown that I always keep has been destroyed will there be someone who still wants to be with me who has been stained ?

I was so weak that I unknowingly fell asleep in the cornfield. I crumpled my body, a light blinding my eyes. It turned out that it was morning, I who could only cry scavenging one by one my clothes were shapeless to cover the body that was already out of shape.

Hikkss hikkkss hikksss why is it like this ?

Why should it happen to me ?

My body ?

Arghhhh I hate all this.

I ran towards my contract, I went through a detour so as not to remember what happened last night that made me like this.

Until I immediately rushed to the bathroom which happened to also be in my contract. There I rubbed my dirty body violently many times. My tears are back.

What should I do ?

I also couldn't possibly report their vile deeds to the police, meaningless either. Poor people like me will certainly even add to the stampede, or even they will .feel disgusted. Or I'll take my report down, I don't have the money to bribe them into believing in me. I'm really going crazy.

Lan, later we play yuk mumpung today work holiday. The message was sent by Lidya who invited me to play and hang out at our langgang cafe.

Not ah Lid, tomorrow again well I'm not feeling well because of it. I'm trying to find an excuse for Lidya not to suspect.

Reply Lidya again, which this time was not read by me because I was contemplating the bad luck that befell me.

***

Lidya knocked on my rented door, taking my name.

"Bulannnnnn" Lidya shouted without any burden.

I rushed to open the door, now he's all there is for me.

Ceklek (i opened door )

Lidya was surprised to see me who looked unusual.

"You why Lan ?" ask Lidya with worry because I don't usually look pensive.

Instantly my tears spilled, I immediately hugged Lidya my best friend over time the embrace was also getting tighter. Indicates that I'm not okay.

"Let's go, we go in first" Lidya asked while stroking my shoulder as well so that the neighbors did not know my problem.

"Why ? What's up?"

"Hikss hiksss Lid, I'm already dirty Lid" I said with a sob trying to hold back tears.

"What do you mean ?" Lidya who still does not understand my words.

"I'm in rape"

" you don't lie Lan, it's not funny. Don't take any limits if you're joking" Lidya yelled at me, not believing my words.

"I'm not lying"

"Jeez...., how the hell is that ? How could that happen ?" Lidya tried to calm me down, and wanted to know the truth.

"Take it easy first your tears, then tell me" now Lidya hugged me back.

***

Last night, I was late for work. As usual, I walked through the guava alley. I know there are 3 more young men hanging out, but they seem suspicious not rich usually. The road is also very quiet. They were drunk, then one of them smothered me and they took me to the cornfield. That's where what I don't want to happen. They took turns, I also know who did it. But if you report it to the police I'm afraid everyone will know something bad happened to me. I ruined Lid, now I'm no longer the whole woman I've got dirty Lid. Are there still men who want to be with a dirty woman like me ?