Trying Again to Love You

Guarding the Heart

Without saying a word, I left the table where Pras and I were sitting. My mind was gone, I couldn't say anything at that moment. I just want to go and digest it all.

While continuing to walk in an uncertain direction, from a distance a car approached me and several times honked. I really don't care right now, I thought.

" Cttt.. ".

As soon as I stopped my footsteps, a car stopped right in front of me, Pras got out of the car and immediately pulled my hand into the car, I was weak, my body was like a 1 ton load and at that moment I was sitting in Pras' car seat.

" Why are you ? ", asked Pras.

I kept quiet, strange indeed it felt, liked the same person. Kiki is my best friend, I don't want to hurt him, but Pras, he chose his heart for me.

My phone suddenly shook, Kiki called me.

" Dev.. What time are you coming home ? long time ago, I picked you up..! bete ni's.. ". (with a spoiled tone ).

" Eh. don't need to.. ! it's also me back on the road, wait there ". My answer had to lie.

We're halfway there, Pras appreciates me a lot. He did not continue the conversation, along the way we just kept quiet, I also continued to turn my eyes towards the side glass.

Suddenly, my hand was like something was grasping, spontaneously I immediately pulled this hand from my grasp, but Pras still grasped me tighter.

I stared at him sharply, revealing an uncomfortable face, he still did not care, not one bit he took my hand off.

" Kiki likes you ! ". I ventured to say it.

" Yes I already know, why I arrived - suddenly invite you to meet, because it was ". Pras replied while swinging my hand.

" I don't want Kiki to go deeper into me, nor do I want to hold this feeling for long, whether you like me or not, that's something else ".

I realized at once, Pras' words made me love it even more, even the grip of his hand when it felt so warm, my heart was beating so fast.

Actually I do not want to take off that grip, but I also do not want to dissolve in the atmosphere, the shadows of Kiki continue to haunt me, I can not hurt her, I can not hurt her, he had been too hurt by the news of the divorce of his father and mother, not to mention he had to swallow a bitter pill away from his father and release his college bench at the ISI campus.

Immediately I took off Pras' hand, sighing deeply, I told him to stop the car.

" Stop here ". I said.

Pras was shocked, but he just kept going regardless of my words.

" stop.. ". I repeat it again.

Pras stepped on the brake, and immediately pulled my hand.

" I can understand how you feel Dev.. But, once again I say, I don't want you to return this feeling, I just want you to know, and I just want Kiki to go no deeper into me, that's all ". Tegas Pras.

Pras' hand was shaking, his eyes were sharp, I dared not look at him, I just kept trying to pull my hand from his.

" I still don't know what Pras should be, on the one hand I like you too, on the other hand, I don't want to hurt Kiki ". My tears broke immediately.

I had to tell him that, I had no choice, because at that moment, I knew, I really liked him, I couldn't stem the feeling either.

" You, I'll drive you home, will you ? ". Ask her, with a soft tone.

I just nodded in his arms.

Then he took off my arms and went back to running the car, all the way, we just kept quiet, I tried to calm myself while wiping away the falling tears.

" Oya Pras, I beg you to take me to the front of the campus, I let you walk to the boarding house, Kiki waiting at my boarding house, I beg Pras ". My love for him.

He just nodded, no matter how long we had arrived in front of the campus, Pras stopped the speed of his car, turned off the socket and rushed to pull me back before I could open the door.

Suddenly my gaze led to him, suddenly he kissed my lips, I was silent for a moment, then immediately let go of his kiss.

" I like you Dev. From the beginning we met, heart - heart yes.. ". Pras Say.

I immediately opened the door and got out of the car without taking a word, I had never been kissed by the men of this world, I rushed running towards the boarding house, he said, I felt the world as though it were still, I was running but I was not treading, I was in the crowd of the road, but there was not the slightest sound.

Suddenly my footsteps stopped, I realized, since Kiki had called me from across the street, I then approached her.

" When are you here ? ". I asked, (panic look on the face).

" I was just passing by, keep looking at you, Oya Dev. Lock up the room I put the usual place, just now Mom called me, Mom here Dev.. ". Said Kiki, replying to my question.

Oh.. God, did Kiki see me with Pras earlier, I really panicked, but I had to cover my panic in front of Kiki. I hope he doesn't see me with Pras.

" Your mother went to Yogya ? ". I asked back, while trying to make the look of the face as relaxed as possible, making body gestures as calm as possible.

" Yes Dev. I also just found out this, suddenly mom said she wanted to pick me up ". Answer Kiki.

His face was so sad, but not one bit he asked about me and Pras, even he looked very rushed.

Then Kiki said goodbye and left me, I went back to the boarding house, when I got to the room, I immediately dropped my body on the bed and let my body and mind rest for a moment.

Ah.. But, these lips, still continue to feel how soft lips Pras kissed me, as soon as I fell asleep.

" Cring.. ".

I woke up, then took a cell phone that had rung earlier, no matter how long I had been asleep.

" lloo.. ". I answered, without knowing who called.

" Dev.. ". From her voice, I can tell, it's Kiki.

" Yes Ki, what's up ? you met mom ? ". My answer.

" Us.. Mother told me to go to America next week ". Kiki replied in a soft tone while holding back a cry.

Suddenly I was shocked and confused to answer what, why everything was so fast, everything that happened did not give time for me to digest it, I'm sorry Ki, I can not keep my heart.