Trust & Love

Trust & Love (009)

"Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,"

"Assalamualaikum warahmatullah."

Zulfikar rubbed his face, then raised both his hands while shedding his tears. Begging for forgiveness for all the wrongs he has done during his life in this mortal world, whether intentional or not.

Not to forget, he also begged for determination to be facilitated in the affairs of his feelings which are now becoming more complicated on the return of the request of the Lukman family to marry his daughter.

"O Allah, you are the only one who knows what we never know. Therefore, I ask you, please open your heart in living all your scenarios, O Allah. I'm sure you want the best for your servant. Aamiin's."

After the completion of the magrib prayer, Zulfikar went on to recite some of the holy verses of the Qur'an. This activity is routine. Besides being known for his cleverness and good looks, Zulfikar is also known as a young man who is very devout of religion. So that not a few women who fall in love with him, both his friends, students, even some female lecturers have openly expressed their feelings for the thick-browed man. But because in his heart only written the name Nurul, again he could not accept to reciprocate the feelings of any woman.

*Shadaqallahul adzim." Zulfikar closed the Qur'an and kissed it for a few seconds. Not to forget he also inserted a do'a there.

tock-tock

"Zulz, man,"

Zulfikar opened his eyes, and he kept the Qur'an on the nightstand.

tock-tock

"Zul, open the door!" shouted a man outside Zulfikar's room.

"Yes, wait a minute!" sahut Zulfikar who folded his alphabet first.

The familiar male voice in his ear 'Andre' yes it was the voice of Andre, his best friend. Zulfikar was convinced.

After removing the pecans, Zulfikar immediately opened the door, "what the hell is Ndre? how horrendous is it?"

Andre looks sweaty.

What's wrong with him, Zulfikar thought.

"Nu_Nurul Zul's.. Nurul," said Andre recently-bata.

Zulfikar was shocked when he heard Andre mention the woman's name, "what's up, Ndre. What happened to Nurul?" ask Zulfikar curiously.

"I_it's Zul, Nurul's husband, Luthfi, accident. He died."

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rooji'un" said Zulfikar in disbelief, "who really are you, Ndre?"

"Yes, Zul. I'm not lying."

"O Allah, pity Nurul" Zulfikar.

Without a second thought he immediately locked the door to his room "Come, Ndre.we're going to his house."

Andre nodded then immediately followed Zulfikar into the car to meet Pak Kyai's house which was also Nurul's residence.

Along the way, Zulfikar's heart and mind continued to struggle, thinking about how Nurul was doing now? that woman must have been very broken.

Zulfikar and Andre have arrived at the council parking lot. There are also a lot of cars there. It seems the news of Nurul's death has spread to his brothers. It is seen now that Mr. Kyai's house has begun to be crowded with mourners.

Zulfikar walked in through the side door because it was not possible to pass through the crowded front. But she was surprised to see Nurul standing in a corner while looking at her late husband's body. Suddenly Zulfikar's feelings raged between being sad to see Nurul's current state but implied also the whisper of the devil in his heart to be happy for having the chance to have Nurul completely.

"Astagfirullahaladzim," Zulfikar rubbed his face and walked over to Nurul, "i'm sorry, Nur" said Zulfikar.

Nurul looked at Zulfikar's face meaningfully, his tears dripping and indeed it made Zulfikar's heart feel in the verses. The woman who for years filled the recesses of her heart now shed tears, indeed she could not bear, if she could very much want to replace her sadness.

Zulfikar again took a stand in his heart. She thought too much about the woman who had just lost her husband. He better leave before his feelings get messy.

"I'll excuse you then, Nur." Zulfikar turned to leave Nurul before Nurul heard a soft voice.

"Zulz, man,"

"Do you still love me?"

Teg

Zulfikar's heart stopped beating. He did not believe what Nurul had just said. His heart was turbulent, his sweat dripping upon hearing the question, whether this was what feeling was but it felt like this feeling was inappropriate to appear in this time of grieving circumstances.

"Sorry, Nurul. I have to see Mr. Kyai." Without seeing Nurul's face, Zulfikar immediately went away from her, she was afraid that her feelings would be even more mad if she did not immediately distance herself from Nurul.

***

Zulfikar POV

Arriving in Kotsan I continued to shadow Nurul's face while in his house earlier. How could Nurul ask such a question, while Nurul knew that all this time I loved her so much.

"Murghhhh,"

I ruffled my hair in frustration, my feelings constantly raging thinking about all the problems that occurred.

I still love Nurul so much, just like I used to have nothing less. But on the other hand I also do not want to betray the trust of men

which I consider my own parents. Especially young who had made me forget about Nurul at that time even if only for a moment.

That man is Mr. Lukman.

I remember very clearly when Mr. Lukman helped me who was in a bad state at that time, when I was heartbroken at Nurul's marriage, mr. Lukman is what every day provides motivation so that I am not discouraged. And it was from the beginning that my admiration grew in the men who often helped the cost of activities in that assembly.

There was a story that made my admiration even higher for him, namely the struggle he had to forget his first love until his struggle to love the girl he did not love at all.

I was so amazed at her, and in my heart was implied that it was possible that I could also love her daughter more than I love Nurul?

Our relationship exceeds the relationship of friends in general, I do not hesitate to tell my personal story to him and vice versa, until one day, until,

he gave me a request that I thought was very heavy.

How not heavy? the request was also he considered as his trust towards me, the mandate to take care of his daughter.

"I beg you very much, marry my daughter, I'm sure only you can change everything!" ask Mr. Lukman to me while pleading and resting before me.

"Sir, don't do that! you're too much of me!" I protested while trying to lift her body back up.

"Father doesn't know anymore, but please! I have great hope in you, son," said Mr. Lukman.

I who could not refuse his request at that time only asked for time instead of hoping that his son would first find a companion of his own choice, before I agreed to Mr. Lukman's request.

"I can't promise that Mr. Lukman, but I will try" I hesitated.

"Good, Son. I hope you will grant the request, Father."

Time after time kept going, I thought our talk of that time would disappear as time went on, but it turned out I was wrong. When I saw the condition of Mr. Lukman after falling at the ceremony my heart seemed turbulent, especially when I saw the behavior of his daughter who was very indifferent to him. I understand more and more why Mr. Lukman is hoping for more

me me? Maybe he wanted me to change his daughter's attitude.

Despite all my admiration and gratitude to Mr. Lukman. But is this a wedding? I only want to get married once in the rest of my life. And I just want to marry the people I really love, is it worth this marriage to use as a trial ground? Crazy, I'm crazy for him.

I hit my head against the wall, it felt like my head just wanted to explode, Which one would I choose?

Trust or love?