This Life This Life

Chapter XlX

"But I'm not happy mom, I'm not happy at all..." Thu Thu felt heartbroken, just feeling that everything turned out to be wrong, everything turned out to be in vain: "What makes me feel happy The happiest thing is to be with the person you love, without having to count who loves more..” He raised his face, his eyes glazed, “Bu, I love Dich Truong Ninh, I love him, love me until I can not control myself. I'm first married to Ky Nam Phuong, because I hope you can be happy, Mom, I really hope you will be happier than me. I think you'll understand, Ky Nam Phuong is not the person I need, he's nice to me, but I can't live with him. I don't feel safe with him .... I don't know when he will be home .. when he will change his mind. There were too many temptations around him….I can't love.mom….I'm afraid he'll be like dad.I can't do like you okay .I really can't do it. I hope the person I love will love me with all my heart, because I have devoted all my heart to love him. But Ky Nam Phuong he just touched me… will he hug my friends? this..isn't he so excited about them.just thinking about it makes me nauseous.....it's been shaking..but I can't stop wondering....Where was he last night? Who was he with at night? I can't help it .. mom .. if I really love her, I'd go crazy, I'd rather .. old-fashioned ... mom .... I love Truong Ninh, I love Truong Ninh so much .. Please mom do it for us. If I continue to be with Ky Nam Phuong, I'll be completely insane, I can't stand it, Mom, I can't take it..."

He threw himself into his mother's arms, gave up all his strength, and cried like a child.

He really couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't stand it all, he used to think that his sacrifice was worth his mother's warm embrace, which used to be warm.

He was like a child suffering from all sorts of misfortunes and injustices, only knowing how to let go of his screams and cries, just like a time not long before, but back then he could only cry in silence, she squeezed the edges of her mother's clothes, like a child afraid of drowning, crying to the point of choking.

Thinh Khai hugged her, she wailed but shed tears, she kept tightening her mother's clothes, forcing herself to cry: "Mother, mother, mother ..."

He no longer knew how to say a word, only yelling loudly to call his mother, like when he was a child, very young, only when he felt sorry for himself, she said, she would rush to her mother's lap and cry once, then feel sad again after crying, feeling that everything would be fine.

She cried so much that she choked, and could only utter the words: "Mom, I beg, mother."

Thinh Khai slightly closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks: "This girl, why are you so stupid."

"Mom, I beg you." He fought desperately in his mother's lap, like a strangled person, unable to take a last breath. Only a mother has a way, only a mother can protect her, give her compassion, give her everything, "Mom, help me, help me..."

Thinh Khai listened to his son's plea but broke his heart, wiped the tears from Thu Thu's face, and comforted his son: "Don't cry, good boy, you are still in confinement, don't cry anymore, don't cry anymore, it's time. .Not good pain, I agree with you, I'll think of a way, okay? I'm helping me, okay?"

Thu Thu just felt dry, because he knew very well what he wanted, there was no way his mother could help him, only he knew, only he understood, what he wanted, what he wanted, forever never achieved. He had no other choice, so he could only cry, cry nonstop, cry resolutely.

She impatiently held on to the end of her mother's shirt, crying and crying again, just thinking, crying until she was tired, better, crying when she was tired, she was going to sleep, but, that was the end, she said, he doesn't have anything else.

You know, that's why I went to see him.

How many times, especially when she was just getting married, she fell asleep, then she silently looked at her, when she was sleeping she looked so cute, lying down like a child, her beautiful face was calm, she said, his expression was calm, making him unable to help but want to steal a kiss.

But when he woke up, forever just frowning at him, showing discomfort, showing aggravation, always rejecting him from a thousand miles away.

She knew why, so every day felt like she was sneaking with him, in silence, silently, with no way to get close, no future, only hope, but she refused to let go.

On her 1st wedding anniversary, she booked flowers, booked a restaurant, even booked a plane ticket, booked a hotel for a honeymoon room, and planned to go on a vacation to Turkey, did he not mention that he wanted to go to Constantinople. But as soon as he called her, he simply said, "I'll be on a business trip tomorrow."

And it went on, she didn't even remember that the next day was their wedding anniversary

Just a year later, he went from overflowing with enthusiasm, to gradually fading, gradually extinguishing. His entire existence was like an iceberg, no matter how much he experimented, no matter how hard he tried, there was no way to melt it in the slightest, from above. Falling into the pit of despair, it only took one year.

He thought he could last longer, but in just one year, he made him understand, they were destined to never be close to each other for the rest of their lives.

He sparred with her, which was still better than him scoffing at her, but the more they fought, the worse things were, the only thing he could do was to let her push him further.

That night she goes out for a meal, drunk, when she wakes up and finds herself in a strange hotel, there is also a foreign woman in bed or, he fell down and told himself that, well, it was him.

Done, be it.