This is my life story

It's me

My name is Ainun Mahya a nineteen-year-old girl, from childhood I lived alone with my father, can be said I am a child who lost the figure of a mother, for me loneliness is a true friend, can be said, I grew up with my father's hard upbringing.

Actually my mother is still there but she has to work away from me, she is in Kuwait Middle Eastern state there, before I hated my mother a lot because she went away from me just to get the money, but now I realize that he went to save my life, because my sickly father was no longer able to work.

The more I grow up the more I accept this situation, but as a result of seeing my family destroyed I have an inner wound that never healed.

Ever since my mother left my father became a different person, not only my father but all my family members changed, my father became a drunk, as well as my uncles, as a result, my family who used to live in harmony is now hostile to each other.

One night my uncle went on a rampage and threatened to kill my father, I could only cry from fear.

From there I started to hate my family, I don't know if everything was broken, my mother was also very difficult to contact.

I felt like things would never go back to normal, the years that changed since my mom went to work, my dad became more and more, not only a booze addict, but he also had the courage to play women.

I was angry, but what was my day at the time, only able to cry between the pile of pillows under the covers, I could not accept my father's betrayal of Mom.

The longer I hold my father's hatred. Why my life is this way, why my father should be a betrayer, that's a question I always ask God.

Four years passed, my mother came home, I thought it was the end of my suffering but the truth is no, I even often witnessed my parents fighting.

One night Mom and Dad had a fight, I saw my mom holding a knife in her hand, she was about to kill herself, my dad was trying to calm her down, and I was so scared and crying to see her.

I thought Mom's arrival would bring my family back to how it was but the truth is no, trouble after trouble always pops up, My Dad and Mom fight a lot, there's no happiness in my life.

Like a glass that has been broken, although it can be repaired but will never return to perfect as before.

Mom's arrival was only temporary, after three months at home she went back again, not leaving in a short time but in years.

My father's habit of being drunk and playing women was repeated, I could only hate this situation, how could I live with an acute drunkard.

I don't know what I have to deal with all this, even though I hate it but I can't stop loving it.

I respect him as my father, in my hatred for him I have such great affection, I want him back to what he used to be, and we can have normal days again, get together, get together, laugh and create a complete and harmonious family again as before all this happened.