The Substitute Bride

Chapter 3 (Happy for the Lies and Suffering for Honesty)

"If your way is like that, you better not go to the operating room." said Dr. Alvin to Tami.

They had just finished an operation that for two more hours was draining his patience. How not, actually this operation is not difficult, but the nurse who replaced Mira made it difficult. The girl was indeed in the operating room but her mind had somehow ventured to where. He was really upset and swore he wouldn't have another operating room with him.

"Sorry, doc. I was not focused." Tami could only resign when the notoriously grumpy doctor nagged her. He was well aware that all his negligence in the operating room earlier could endanger the patient's life. He should not mix personal problems with work problems. The results of the DNA test really made him shocked until everything he did was not right.

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the patient. During surgery, the patient fully entrusts his safety to us. Understood?" gertak doctor Alvin. The man's appearance looked completely different to his grumpy demeanor.

Tami just nodded. He deserves that anger. Doctor Alvin leaves Tami still silent in front of the operating room. Tami took off her mask and stepped away to change the clothes that had been used for surgery with ordinary clothes. His mind was in chaos everywhere. His brain nerves are very tangled. Fortunately today he has no scheduled guard so he can go home and rest his messed up mind. Bathing with cold water may be able to improve his tangled mind.

"Hey, Ta. You want to balek? (Are you going home?)" Tasya pulls Tami's arm. The girl happened to be in the parking lot to pick up her things left behind in the motorcycle seat when her eyes saw Tami who was walking away.

"Yes, Yes. I don't have a night shift today."

"Recare you can go back by yourself? Your face is so pale." Tasya was so worried to see the mess of his best friend. His outstretched hand fixed the location of the mini brooch that was to the left of Tami's shoulder. Then he also tidied up Tami's slightly messy white khimar.

"Yes, I can go home by myself. Don't worry, Shay."

"Yes, be careful when you go home. Don't speed, life is only once. I don't want to see you lying in this hospital as a patient"

Tami nodded. "Yes, Yes. Tell Clara that I'm back first. Assalamu' alaikum." pamitnya then put on a helmet and ride the motor maticnya.

"Yes, wa'alaikumsalam" replied Tasya.

Tasya breathed heavily. He knew that his best friend was in deep frustration but he could do nothing to help him. Only a thread of prayer in his heart can he offer the Khalik so that the salvation of his friend is awake and all the trials that come to him can he pass. Tasya waved both hands at Tami as her bike started to leave the parking area.

Tami parked her motorcycle in a simple garage next to her house and stepped inside the house.

"Assalamu'alaikum" he said as he removed the white sneakers he was wearing

"Eh, wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah. You're home, son. Tumben. I thought you were coming home tonight."

"Engh, no, Mom. Tami doesn't have a night shift schedule."

"Yes, already. Take a bath first, pray maghrib then rest for a while. I'll wake up when I want dinner. Uh, don't let the prayer miss."

"Yes, Mom. Tami go to the room first."

"Yes, baby."

Upon entering the room, Tami immediately dropped her body on her simple bed. He tried to close his eyes for a moment

O Allah what should I do? Maybe the mother who loved me was not my mother. Maybe he could lie to me. But the DNA test evidence says otherwise. I'm not her daughter, so why can I be her daughter. My test results with Rahma's mom were very accurate. Could there be an error in the test? Do I have to retest?

Tami complained all her anxiety to the All-Knowing. Hoping that he would get an answer even though he himself knew the truth was in sight. After the magrib prayer until the time of prayer isya fingers fingers fingers ceaseless flicking tasbih. Great words praising the greatness of God incessantly flow from his lips.

After dinner Tami opened two more white envelopes that had been snuggled sweetly in her mini bacpack. He read the writing on the two papers carefully in turn. Then again and repeat it a third time

What did you expect Tami? Your writing can change if you read it many times. It was a magic sir Tarno who could turn a lidi into a flower stem. Just dream there. ckckck. His little heart.

He folded and put the two papers in their envelopes. Should he ask his mother directly? But he was confused where to start. He did not want to misstep and make his mother's heart hurt.

Repeatedly Tami tried to make both senses of his vision closed but the results were nil. His eyes did not cooperate. He got up and left the room. Both of his legs stepped into the closet near the tv, then looked for something in the closet, where his mother used to store albums of photos of their togetherness. He glanced briefly at his mother's room, as if his mother had gone to sleep. The room is dark. It was only natural that the clock on the wall pointed to the number ten past fifteen minutes. He then returned to focus on opening an album that looked outdated.

Nothing has changed from the album. It was the same as when he saw it a few years ago. He tried to open another album, but what he was looking for was not found. Why didn't he realize his childhood photos weren't there? There are only photos when he was about five and six years old. Tami exhaled slowly then put the stack of albums in her hand into the box and put them into the open drawer. Again, he opened the bottom drawer and found a stack of old magazines that were published in what year. His attention was distracted as he looked at the corner of the box under the stack of magazines. After taking out all the magazines, his hand cleverly opened the rectangular-shaped box.

Tami found two folded sheets of newspaper and opened them. He began to read the newspaper. There is nothing special there, the picture has begun to fade, maybe because it is too long stored. But one headline on the other end of the paper caught his attention. It was not news, but rather about missing persons announcements.

Kirana's? Kirana Princess Adhyastha?

Come on, Tami, everybody's got an old newspaper in his house, what's wrong with that? The batteries.

Tami tried hard to bury the growing suspicion in her heart. His hand unfolded the other newspaper and began to read it carefully, this time his suspicions were unstoppable. Why did his mother keep all the papers that told him about Kirana's disappearance, until the news about the girl's body was found in a river. He wanted to know who he really was, but maybe he was able to accept the truth. The more he denies it, the more truth drives him to see the truth. Tami massaged her temple in frustration. It was as if a heavy burden was hitting him right now.

"Tami..why are you there, son?"

The girl jumped in shock at the hoarse voice of the woman she had been calling mother. The woman was standing in front of him holding a glass of water in his hand. Tami put the newspaper in the box. He was unable to hear the truth even though the reality was in sight.

"You want to hear everything, son?" ask his mother

"Sound what, Mom? Listen to Mom's talk again?"

"You know what I mean."

Tami did not answer. The girl was too confused to say what. Her lips were tightly locked, while her feet stepped onto the sofa in front of the tv following her mother. He sat down next to his mother and placed the box on the table.

"Everything's right, Tami. The results of both DNA tests were not wrong."

"When did you read it?"

"Thus. When I wanted to see you in my room, I accidentally saw those two envelopes and read them."

"Maybe the result is wrong, ma'am. Lagian Tami trusts the mother more than the results of the DNA test, so say Mom if the results of the test are not true and Tami's biological child then Tami can cover the ears of all the truth that exists."

Tami's gaze was straight ahead as she said the sentence, she was unable to look at her mother's face. He was not sure he could resist his disappointment when his mother told him the truth about who he really was. his mother took out a piece of newspaper from the box and took a dusty picture frame under the piece of newspaper, then wiped it with a tissue.

"They're your real family." Said mother while pointing at the frame in her hand.

Tami took a picture frame. He was eager to refuse to see the photo, but his eye organs took over everything. His hands stretched out to rub the beautiful face of Rahma's mother.

"He's your real mother, Rahmadita. The one who gave birth to you and your sister, Karina."

Tami did not react, she remained silent but her heart was like being clad in a rock that weighed tens of tons until her chest felt so tight.

"He's your father, Rizal Adhyastha" his mother said as she felt the face of the man standing around hugging Rahma's mother's shoulder. " Keenan Son of Adhyastha is your older brother, and of course you know who is on his left."

"Why did you have to separate me from my family while you knew how much it hurt a woman to lose her daughter?" tami's tone sounded clear. He was too disappointed with the situation.

His mother spoke a thousand languages. Because of his obsession, Tami had to be separated from his family, because his obsession was the family of Rahma's mother had to bear grief for years and because his obsession is what now makes him feel very sinful. It's time he told Tami the truth. It is better to suffer for honesty than to be blessed for lies. But is he able to release a child who has been a painkiller for his life, the encouragement of his life and the source of his happiness. Does Tami hate her if she knows the truth? Even so he will tell the truth because he does not have any rights over Tami. The rights he had all this time were just the rights he took from the Tami family until the girl did not feel the affection of her parents and family for almost twenty years.

"Mom had a miscarriage and doctors said she would never get pregnant again. The loyalty that your ex-husband once said in fact never materialized until Mother went to bring lara herself. Stay away from her and her new happiness. It was like being unsteady on earth, bringing Mother to follow the wind covered in endless wounds and tears. Meaning woman because she became a mother, for those who can not get the title is thrown away like dust that needs to be removed. Two years later the wound was finally healed when I saw the sweet smile of two jolly daughters. At that time I was trusted to take care of you and and your sister, Karina. The more the day the mother's affection is getting bigger so that Mother does not realize that the affection has covered the conscience of Mother and turned into an ego because it wants to have. You were four years old at the time, I took you away from the park using the services of a messenger. For almost three months I've left you with an old friend, taking you away from your family. Even your family's tears and rangungan seemed to be the wind then. For Mother there is only guiltless satisfaction. After three months, my mother resigned. Then take you to an island where Mom was born and raised. You are such a submissive child that everyone who knows you believes you are my daughter. That bright moment became cloudy as he learned of your whereabouts and wanted to take you from Mom's embrace. My ex-husband was very selfish at the time. He thinks you're his daughter. Karma does exist because it turns out that his second wife also can not be a person, breaking down all the pseudo-dreams he built. The debate is difficult and prolonged to make everyone shackled ego including the former in-laws Mother. He wants you to be his grandson. Quarrels are inevitable, even you become a victim for the umpteenth time because of the deed. He gave up on knowing you weren't his flesh and blood, but it didn't make me happy. I can't give you back your memories. Regrets become meaningless, so I'm determined to be a real Mother until the moment your memory returns, at which time I'll receive all the rewards for all the deeds that you and your family did."

Tami's eyes warmed up, a few seconds later the flow of tears on her cheeks became so swift. He cried without a sound, making a sense of tightness shackle his chest. His voice was stuck in his throat. Slowly his right hand stretched out to press against his claustrophobic chest. It was as if he was able to grasp the ungodly feeling that was raging there. He was sad, angry and disappointed. But he did not want to show it to the woman next to him.

"Mom didn't think it was true that you knew the truth before Mom told her." her mother's voice rang out. The woman also cried considering the stupidity she had done. "Mother will return you to your family and will accept whatever the consequences of all your actions. You have every right to hate Mom."

The woman felt the same way as Tami before she even started telling the truth. He knew Tami's disappointment was much greater. He regretted but he also had to be grateful because the girl next to him taught him the true meaning of life.

Tami's whole body feels cold. He hugged his own body hoping for warmth to creep into his body. Stopping the pulses that repeatedly stomped his chest. His body felt limp, drifting like an unsteady on earth maybe exactly like this that his mother felt once before. When you are disappointed in the person you care about, the happiness he offers in your life now seems to be a poison that destroys it, breaks it down, plunges it into the abyss of blasphemy that is so deep it scratches the wound.

Tami almost fell down if her mother didn't hold her back. But he clapped both hands that felt fragile because of the guilt. In fact, he did not want to face the eyes with both shady eyes that had warmed him with a helping of love that seemed never to end. At this time a sense of disappointment overpowered him, making him walk weakly towards his room. That fragile hand no longer guided him like the times he had been disappointed before. Tami sat on the floor and leaned on the edge of the bed. He pulled a blanket over the bed to cover it. Hoping for the blanket to warm him from the sudden shivering that rubbed his body. A soft rub came out from the tip of his lips. He held her back from that moment, but now he wanted to vent her, to let out all his disappointment and sadness.

Ms...why? Why are you willing to do it? Even when you love me so much, you should lie and keep this secret so that we both don't have to feel this pain. But what about the pain my family has endured for nearly twenty years?

Mom made me happy with the lies and now she's making me suffer for honesty.