THE MENTARY FOR THE ESTUARY

CHAPTER 8, YOU'RE NOT OKAY

    “Riana... Main yuuuukkkkkk!” shouts and pounding on the windows of humans there is no morals to disturb the sleep of the girl with the zodiac cancer. Riana wriggled, throwing away her blanket in a slow motion motion. Glanced at the clock on the nightstand, and jreeeeeeng! His eyes perfectly opened, as soon as he saw the clock had shown the number nine in the morning.

“Iki case container, I nge-band e dino iki, even kawanen!” he cried, more to himself. Riana immediately flew towards the bathroom. He forgot to tidy up the mattress, he let the blanket fall apart. He was more focused on his appearance, because the children who were shaking his window were definitely his band mates who were in all bars; satria, Dyo, Rasya, and Farel.

“Sorry guys, I forgot that today the schedule is gig,” Riana said grimacingly. He was well-groomed with his national appearance; denim shirts and torn jeans. Tomboy abeezzz.

“Casual aja time, rush really. We were just a fad, the departure is still three hours Ririii, so do not have to gopo that,” said Satria calm. Riana frowned, then glared at all of them. Duh your gaze is Ri, wielding sharp, as sharp as the mouth of netizen*eh.

“DO YOU GUYS SHOUT IN FRONT OF GUEEEE'S ROOM?”

“Ya if not digituin, do not wake-up lonya,” timpal Rasya.

“Ish, shucks all of you. Yes, I cleaned the room first, same cook for breakfast. You guys haven't been at breakfast, have you?” ask Riana.

“Well this is ddia, there is also good luck, did we come here early in the morning? Dapet breakfast,” kekeh Dyo while putting his phone in the bag. Good time, he's been playing the game.

“Yo wes, wait a moment, you guys if again on Friday jail it's true yes,” riana's nagging. While Riana ran upstairs (to her room), her bandmates just laughed. To them, judging Riana was a pleasure.

***

After the room was finished, Riana and her four bandmates were sitting around the dining table at the Riana boarding house. Because of the rush and panic, Riana could not think about what to cook, so be a simple fried noodles with toppings of eggs, sausages and vegetables as their breakfast menu. The costs are quiet now, because both Milia, Maura, and Selena, are all busy unwinding with their faforit activities. Kan weekend's.

“Mbak,” Dyo breaks the silence.

“Temple... Why, Yo?” Dyo did not answer. He just stared fixedly at Riana.

“Why the hell? Something wrong with me?” ask Riana.

“Not there, ma'am, these wrong eyes. Something like deh,” said Dyo while scratching his head. What does this mean and what does it want? He said he hurt his eyes, why his head scratched? Hadeee.

“Why? Sek see..” pinta Riana. If this is the case, start, surely later the nature of the bring out deh. Riana was so, always attentive.

“Red your eyes deck, soon mbak get eye drops yes,” said Riana while walking immediately, maybe want to go back to her room.

“Solve the meal first mbak, eat half-separoh that. I'm not papa, most exposed to dust earlier on the road,” said Dyo calming.

“Ish, apane dust? You guys will ride the car earlier.” said Riana.

“Ndon't know either. But yes, this is just a mild irritation.” Sedating dyo.

“Yes already, will finish eating, immediately mbak grabin eye drops yes,” said Riana. Dyo nodded.

***

Rose Cafe, again. Riana until bosen, three days in a row, she kept coming. She's squirming Nico again, Nico again. Luckily Nico's saucy, so it's still pretty comfortable for his eyes.

“Halooo... How, still the same question nwidur lo?” goda.

“Nicolas Shon Son of Fernandes..” again, Riana glared her eyes, unsheathed her sharp gaze. Duh mbok ati-ati, Ri, ntar dislodged your eyes if forced to glare continuously.

“Iya-iya deh, bait. Yes already there gih get ready,” said Nico. Riana nodded. He immediately prepared his performance with his friends earlier, entertaining visitors, until the afternoon.

***

Plugs... While Riana was resting, suddenly an envelope fell right beside her.

“Ki opo meneh?” Riana is shocked to learn that the one who threw the envelope was Nico, the half-crocodile, uh, half-crocodile.

“Bukak-en..” he said. Riana took the envelope from the table, and opened it. Thought it contained money, it turned out that even two sheets of – paper seemed to be a plane ticket.

“What is this?” riana did not understand.

“Aircraft tickets,” Nico replied.

“La yes, but what does it mean?” Riana made clear the meaning of the question.

“It's a gift for you, you have to go on holiday,” said Nico.

“La why should I take a vacation? I'm fine, Nic.”.

“Have his cardigan..” pinta Nico.

“You what?” ask Riana carefully.

“Gue says, lift..” says Nico firmly. Riana began to understand, what Nico meant. The problem is, for three days, Riana is wearing a long-sleeved shirt, in order to cover her left arm that has been a victim of impingement.

“N-Nic..”

“From first not finished. You can split everything into me, Ri, not into that inanimate thing. Why do you still want to also do kayak ginian?” nagel Nico's.

“Lo will not understand, Nico, because you do not do it yourself..” said Riana.

“Gue does not need to experience to understand how the pain you experience, Riri. Before you know, even when I was desperate for the loss of elo at that time, I also saw the same way of expressing pain like gini, and worse, worse, it's done the same guy that I also love very much!” exciting Nico emotions. Riana surprised. What stories did he not know about Nico? Why would Nico have to keep a secret this big from him? Aren't they best friends?

“Ke-Why haven't you ever told this one? W-What, who does that often, Nic?” ask Riana carefully.

“It... That's my mother, Ri.” Nico said slowly, very slowly. Riana surprised. What does this mean? What the hell has happened?

“N-Nic..”

“My mother is a mental health fighter, Ri, just like you. My mother is also not a woman whose life is happy and well. My mother had deep wounds and traumas, which made her unable to make peace with her life. And when that day I finally squirm and know everything, I think the same elo, elo lost and no news at all after we both graduated High School. After I saw this kind of thing that my mom did, I thought of something, Ri..”, Nico said. But he let the sentence hang there, and sparked Riana's curiosity. Riana looked into the blue eyes of the young man, and carefully asked.

“What Nic?”

“One moment, you have to be happy. Anyone who will become your soul mate, he must be someone who can make you happy. I'm willing to be sick, I'm willing if I have to soak, muffle, even remove all these feelings, I'm willing. But please love me when Ri, because in fact, after losing elo a year ago until we are reunited again like now, the feeling has not been completely lost.” said Nico. And recklessly, he grabbed Riana's tiny body. Clutching her so tightly, letting her beloved girl shed tears there. He understands, Riana's loyalty and love for Rey is not something to play around with. He understands how Riana, love affairs, affection, to hate it never messes with him. If he loves or loves, then until anything, until as difficult as anything, he will take care of what or anyone he loves seriously. But don't even try to disappoint her once, betray her, hurt her trust. If he has been overcome with hatred, even to death, you will be pursued, continue, until you understand and really realize, that what you are doing is really wrong, and cannot be forgiven.

“You're not okay, Riana, please admit it... Don't keep pushing yourself strong, while you can't always do it. You're an ordinary human Riana, just like the rest of us. And you are never alone, because there are so many people who care about you, including me.” Nico said at length. Riana was getting stuck in Nico's arms. And Nico remained faithfully embracing Riana; as if the pain of the girl was her pain as well. But no, Nico did feel the same pain, or even more. Why didn't God put Riana to himself? Why didn't God let him keep (and be guarded), by Riana? Why would God let Riana fall to the wrong person? Really, this is not fair to him at all.

***

Riana and Nico continued to talk (while hugging, of course), inside Nico's private room, without knowing there was a pair of eyes that were also wet, peering at them from behind the door. A pair of ears that also hear their every conversation, and a heart that must be forced to accept its destiny to crack back, for only loving alone. Heavy, this is very heavy for the owner of all the limbs that have been mentioned.

“Carissa, what are you doing here?” alit asked, who had suddenly been behind him.

“Eh, Mas Alit. No mas, no doing..”.

“La kowe ki nangis ki ngopo tho?” ask Alit who realized Carissa's eyes were half a rub.

“No papa mas..”

“You're Sa, Carissa. Lying is the same as me. I know that you feel karo Mas Nico. I know it hurts too, but it's still being seen. Check yourself it's his name,” comments Alit.

“Jane I yo do not want to ndelok, mas, but earlier Mas Nico asked for anterin this cake, but he still talks seriously in the same Mbak Riri, opo iyo I mlebu, keep interrupting their conversation, yo ra polite tho?” carissa said, while showing the cake plate she brought.

“Ah kowe ki ngeles wae, wes caught wesan... Yowes kene I wae sing ngeterke, Weigh kowe raving koyok ngene,” Alit scolding while taking a cake plate in the hands of a tiny Carissa. Carissa nodded. It turned out that almost 15 minutes he stood there made him very tired. Not just physical things, but also the heart.

***

News and stories about Carissa that harbored a taste to the cafe owner turned out to be no secret anymore. Almost all employees know about this, and they feel Carissa is really a girl who “bandel”. Not wayward in negative connotations yes, but more like to be reckless; desperate to fall in love with the same love that is not necessarily falling into him. He is also recalcitrant, because he already knows it does not feel the same, they are not as frequency, but he continues to strengthen his heart to feel the name Love Alone. (If you want to be confused as to what the pain experienced by Carissa, the daughter of her song Kahitna whose title is “Cinta Alone”, the pain will be triple kill, while reading, while singing, while horrifying the song as well. Just don't go along anyway). Some female employees who know about the stubbornness and recklessness of Carissa is only able to give advice and give support to him. They don't criticize, because they know, heart, love, it's the most uncontrollable thing in someone's life story.

“Sa, if you feel sick, stop first, until you can be strong again. If forced to like gini, even pity elonya. You have to slow down Sa, sick really struggling alone like gini. Again Kak Nico how the hell, he also can not continue to expect the same Kak Riri, it is clear they are different kok.” Carissa sighed, thought about, pondered, and inspired what her co-worker, Diana, was saying. Does he have to stop first, then rearrange his heart so that the foundation is stronger, so that he is not easily hurt and bleed even though he is struggling alone?

“Let me go

If not for sure

Was it all this time

I love myself

Let me pull over

Not tired of waiting

But what does it mean

Love in the shadow

I feel sad

In reality

Love does not have to

Mutual have” (Kahitna, Love Yourself).

(BBC).