The Fuck Man Cindy Milen

Too Painful....

...POV CINDY .......

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Now I'm looking at the wall clock in my room, at this time it still shows three o'clock in the morning and I've woken up like a few days before .

I got out of my bed and walked into the kitchen I saw the atmosphere of the house was very quiet only my footsteps were heard echoing there . I poured a glass of water and drank it with one gulp .

After drinking the water I immediately returned to my room and tried to fall back asleep but I could not close my eyes because my mind kept thinking about Rain and Renal .

I squeezed out the blanket that covered my chest, it felt so tight that it lied to a feeling that was clearly impossible to happen , honestly I still love Renal so much that it didn't diminish in the least , the feeling was even bigger to make me feel very tight , without realizing I was caressing my stomach which was still very flat .

" I'm sorry Mommy, baby, maybe this is the best "I said softly and again I cried softly until I fell back asleep

Right now I wake up when I feel a soft pat on my cheek and I hear Mama's voice filling my listener's senses .

I smiled and opened my eyes perfectly, and I saw that Mama was opening my curtains and walking towards me, giving me a glass of water, and I drank it immediately.

" Ma Mornings "Sapaku first time and Mama was smiling softly unlike a few days before

Since Papa's death , at that time Mama was reluctant to see me but it was then and now Mama has even bestowed her affection on me like before and it makes me feel afraid to go back together with Renal , I'm afraid Mama didn't like my decision to get back together with Renal because right now Mama's happiness is what matters to me .

" Morning Cindy, wake up and take a bath, Mama has made your favorite soup" said Mama softly

" Any ready ma "my mouth and I got up from my bed while going out to the bathroom after picking up my towel and some casual clothes

After finishing the bath I also joined Mama who was at the dinner table waiting for my arrival .

" Eat a lot, Mama's grandson needs a lot of food intake" said Mama softly to make me smile happy when she heard Mama admitted the fetus in my womb as her grandson.

" Mama too, eat a lot of "my words and Mama smiled at my words

We ate in silence too, I honestly missed Papa so much that he would usually throw various kinds of food into my plate , thinking that alone made me feel guilty again .

After eating, I immediately cleaned our dirty dishes, before Mama had banned me many times but I was still with my stance to help Mama to make Mama finally just resigned and according.

" Not until fatigue, okay ? . If you are not able to do it then stop Cindy " said Mama reminded me and I just nodded with a smile

" Cindy, Mama wants to go to Grandma Wilson's house for a while, okay" said mama a little scream

" Good Ma , beware "my mouth and before long I hear the sound of the door closing and it indicates the mother who has left this house .

After the death of Mama I also cleaned the entire house like sweeping and so on, at this time I do not feel exhausted like when I was humming Rain first , I used to not even be able to work much while containing Rain .

Maybe at this time because I share the pain with Renal, I mean here the party who is often exhausted is Renal while I only need to bring the fetus that is in my stomach alone . while Renal , while Renal , the man who had morning sickness and cravings was really very tiring

I also wiped the sweat lodged on my forehead, at this time Mama has been at Grandma Wilson's house for almost two hours and I intend to follow her later.

I went into my room and intended to change my clothes that had been wet with sweat, finished replacing them with casual clothes I immediately went out to approach Mama at the home of Grandma Wilson .

But when I just opened the door of my house I suddenly felt the time stop for a moment when I saw Renal who was now standing in front of me .

I saw Renal who was silent looking at me when the door was open until finally our eyes looked at each other, I saw a moment of longing there .

" Cindy "Call Renal in a low voice but I just fell silent, to be honest I never forgot the man's voice when calling me

Upon awakening, I reflexively closed the door again, but Renal immediately held it firmly .

" Cindy, we need to talk, please" Renal said softly to make my grip on the doorknob weaken.

" come inside.. Renal "I muttered slowly and I'm sure Renal heard it

I reopened the door wide and Renal immediately entered my footsteps into the living room of this house .

" So. , what do you want to talk about ? " Tanyaku is slow even very slow

" I miss you, Cindy "Renal said solemnly but I just kept my head down while linking my hands together and squeezing them gently.

" I miss you Cindy, I and Rain miss you so much "he said again but I still fell silent not responding to the man's words in the slightest until I finally heard a sigh from Renal's mouth .

" You don't miss us ? " ask Renal instantly with a soft tone of voice that sounds very disappointed

" I'm not, "My words lie while keeping my head down without even daring to look at Renal

Right now I'm really scared, I'm afraid if I look at Renal I can't even say that .

" You lied, Cindy" said Renal flatly

" Look at me as I was talking "he said again but I was still silent and squeezed both sides of my hand.

" Go home "I said slowly without obeying the man's orders

" Not until you come with me Cindy, I've almost gone crazy behind this without you" she said dislikes

" Please "continue again with a pleading voice to make my heart feel sliced when I hear his voice

" I can't , I can't go home with you , my house is here , my place is here , Renal " I said slowly

" Not— "

" Hear Renal, we can't . everything won't be the same anymore, ak—aku can't "say me as I ventured to pop my head and looked at the man

" You haven't tried Cindy" he said, staring at me

" Now go home, I stick with my decision" I said uncertainly as I decided on your view and I bowed my head again

" Look at me, Cindy" said Renal sounding resolutely telling me

I looked back at Ranal who was still looking at me, and when I saw Renal I suddenly saw Papa's disappointed face there and it made me bow my head again .

" You don't even want to see me, Cindy" Renal said softly and sounded disappointed

" Go home Renal, I can't if I continue with you I always remember Papa and Salah—"

" I understand "renal said flat even very flatly cutting my speech to make me look at the man

" You blame me for your Papa's death, I made your Papa die and that's why you can't even be reluctant to look at me . Cindy you hurt me so much, it's my last question Cindy . Come back to me please, you love me and so do I, I love you Cindy . Can we be together again ? " Renal said again at length sincerely at the end of his sentence but it sounded painful in my ear

I also sat down for a moment to think . I closed my eyes and opened them slowly and I saw Renal still staring at me.

" I still can't Renal, we've got it all . I really asked maa—"

" You don't love me" Renal said, cutting off my words.

" Re —" I said truncated

" You don't have to explain it to Cindy, I know that "he said flatly cutting my words

" I love you Renal , but ak— "

" Nonsense . okay, if this is what you want I won't bother you anymore, Cindy" said Renal coldly cutting off my speech again as he stood up from his seat

I followed the man to his feet and held his hand but suddenly Renal pulled his hand out forcibly when his wrist was already in my grasp.

" Never touch me, this is what you want, not "he said angrily in a flat and disappointed voice

" You played me with Cindy at will, you didn't want to be with me but you said love to me instead, you were so selfish Cindy "he said again to make me speechless , I obviously hurt that guy

" I'm really sick of your Cindy attitude, this is for the last time, when we meet later just assume we don't know each other, isn't that what you want ? " His words constantly vented all his emotions on me

" Renal I'm not— "

" Stop talking Cindy, when you talk it hurts me . You hurt me Cindy, you played me and you really did like me . If you think love alone is enough for all you're wrong, love isn't enough . I need you by my side, Cindy "he said, cutting off my words even now the man's face was reddened with anger

Renal kept looking at me with pain in his eyes that made my heart ache, 'I really hurt the people I love .

" To this Cindy, as you wish . Our relationship ends here 'cause I'm sending every month to the fetuses that are in your belly because they're still my responsibility " he said again at the end while leaving me who was still silent at my place

" Re —" I said was cut off when I heard the sound of the door closing very loudly

Now Renal has disappeared from my sight even the sound of the man's car has been heard and increasingly away from my yard .

Reflexively my body fell just like that on the icy floor, right now it feels like my legs are very weak to support my body weight . It hurts God too much .

I also touched my chest and squeezed it hard and without feeling my tears fell just like that to wet my whole face, it really hurts .

" Renal —forgive me. , ak-I love you Renal" I stammered as to who I was talking to at the time which obviously I just wanted to reveal everything , I want to say that I love that man

But it seems like what Renal said is true, love alone will not be enough . I've really hurt that guy, I kept crying while squeezing my chest which suddenly hurt so much .

" Stop talking Cindy, when you talk it hurts me . You hurt me Cindy .."

Renal's words kept echoing in my mind and it really hurt me . I've hurt Renal .

As soon as I heard footsteps approaching me, may I wish that it was Renal? , I quickly raised my head but my hope was lost for a moment because Renal did not return .

" Why are you, Cindy ? " Tell Mama with a worried face

" Ak— , Renal , we end ma "my words raspy and stammering

Mama came up to me and immediately hugged my body which was still crouching on the floor and it made me cry even more when Mama hugged me .

" Cindy is selfish ma , Cindy has hurt Renal" I said with a trembling voice but Mama just fell silent while continuing to hold me tightly

" Ma. " said slowly

" Crying is Cindy" said Mama at last

" Cindy loves Renal, ma" I said

" Mama knows" said Mama softly as she continued to gently stroke my back

" Cindy's back, your house is not here, Renal is your real home" Mama said, letting go of her arms and looking at me deeply with affection.

" It's too late Ma, Renal already hates Cindy "

" Nobody knows Son, try . Mama gave you up for that guy, he's a guy who can make you happy , Mama wants you to be happy not like this , Mama loves you so much Cindy even your Papa loves you so much , your happiness is all that matters to us" said Mama, shedding her tears

" Tap— "My speech is intersected

" Come home and meet Renal, talk about all this well" said Mama softly cutting my speech

I immediately hugged my mother's body very tightly while continuing to shed my tears .

At the moment I am really grateful and relieved that Mama has blessed my relationship with Renal, on the other hand I keep thinking about improving and starting everything from scratch with Renal .