The Figure In My Bed

Chapter 1 The quarrel

Prahaang!

My body gasped when I heard the sound of shards from out there. Close my knees in front of my chest and cover my ears with my palms.

Tears mixed with cold sweat soaked the face. My tears did not make a sound, deliberately holding sobs so as not to be heard by my parents who are now having a big fight out there.

The sound of objects thrown at random, accompanied by the sound of a conversation between Mother and Father out there.

Things that often happen in this simple house. The quarrels of the two old men almost every day happened and I witnessed.

I always locked myself in my room and cried during fights between them.

I don't know what they argue to trigger emotions and end up in a fight. It was as if it had become a daily meal for me to listen to such violence. The deep trauma that I felt, until every time there was a loud sound that came suddenly, then I would definitely be jolted in shock. My heart just thumped.

Father and Mother quarrels always end up damaging the furniture in the house. Whether it's small to large things though. It can be ascertained the current state of the house will be like a ship broke after an argument. In fact, not infrequently leads to physical violence committed by the Father against Mother.

"Married to you was a big mistake I made. I'm nyesel!" There was a scream of Mother out there.

"You think you're the only one who's sorry? I also regret marrying you. If only there wasn't Mutia, I wouldn't have survived in this household, got it?" yelled Dad no less loud his voice.

"Always Mutia is the reason. If you love our children, you won't be a cowardly man whose job is just to get drunk and make a living right!" furious Mother.

Plaak !

"Aawww!" The sound of Mother's voice squealing in pain.

I did not remain silent when I heard Mother, the woman who gave birth to me into the world in persecution. I'm sick enough of hearing the big fight between my parents. Especially if you have started to dare to play hands against your mother. It made me unable to hear the agony groans of the woman who had been pregnant for nine months and brought me into this world.

"Enough! Stop that!" my screams were immediately accompanied by sobs. Tears seemed to spill all over and cry out, roaring like a doormat. I don't give a shit.

Now I no longer hold back the sound of crying that they did not want to hear. Emotions that have been hidden for a long time seem to have risen to the crown, the irritation that I originally closed tightly as if enslaving at that moment.

I can no longer endure the pain and the inner wounds that have been so excruciating.

Like a time bomb that keeps turning and waiting for the time to arrive will only explode as fast as possible. That's how I feel right now.

The two old men who were fighting each other were now silent no longer heard, the situation was suddenly silent out there and only the sound of my crying began to dominate filled the entire room.

"Please stop and don't fight anymore! I can't stand your fights!" my peek.

Approaching me who was cowering under the floor in the corner of the room while crying as he pleased.

"Mutia!" The woman hugged this body.

My cry became more and more when leaning on your chest, drowning your face there while continuing to cry.

My mentality seems to be beaten up completely by the disagreements of both parents that almost every day occur.

Mistakes are with my father. Father who works odd jobs but still likes to gamble and get drunk. While the mother had to bear her own household needs by being an iron washing porters of the neighbors around the complex.

It makes you angry and fed up with life that is constantly in the poverty line.

My father was standing at the door staggering and his red face was still under the influence of alcohol.

Usually if that was the case, they would have fought. Every time you come home the night after gambling and getting drunk, there is a war between the two of them.

Mother has been patient enough to face the bad habits of her husband, from when I was a child until now. Dad's habits haven't changed.

As a child, I didn't care if they had to separate. If the word divorce would hurt a child then to me it does not apply. It is precisely with them divorced, mentally me and my mother will be saved.

Why do we want to be together if we only hurt each other? Then the only way is to separate, it would be better in my opinion.

Maybe I am only 15 years old and do not understand about adult problems, especially parent problems. But I've understood enough and know how much you've been suffering all this time. I can see from the look in his eyes, every day emanated sadness, tired and not excited to live his days.

Not to mention the clear hair that often comes out of his eyes that have been swollen. Makes my heart shatter unable to see it. As a child, my heart ached when I saw the figure of the great woman who had raised me being heartbroken.

If it was true that my father loved me, of course he would not do gambling and drunkenness. It's bullshit! All just the reason alone to make the mother think again to ask for a divorce from him.

I was used as an excuse to prevent the divorce from happening. Instead of wanting to keep me mentally from becoming a broken home child, in fact, she herself destroyed my sanity as a child. I do live in a complete family but I don't feel complete affection either, only a sincere mother loves me.

I don't know, maybe I'm being disobedient for hating my father. If for some people the father is the first love for his daughter, but for me the father is like the first monster that is present in my life, and managed to make me hate the creature named man. Do I blame this feeling?

I close my eyes after lying on the bed accompanied by a warm embrace. I don't care about the father who still seems to be out there. Usually he will sleep on the sofa in the middle room between the items scattered on the floor because of the act earlier.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow .. also the next days. Will my life remain the same shrouded in suffering and violence? Or will it all end after tonight?