THE END OF OUR STORY
Family Secrets (1)
Awan and Aurora only stay one night in Surabaya because Aurora still have to go to work on Monday. Since meeting and getting acquainted with Mama Aurora, a curiosity arises in the minds of the Clouds. When they were already on the train to Bandung, Awan revealed what he was thinking.
“Au, it's like I've met my mom before, huh?”
“That is, Mas?”
“Yes, when I see your mama, I feel like I've seen mama before.”
Aurora chuckles. “Perhaps because Mas Awan often see me, it's like he's seen mom. Many people say that we look like sister,” said Aurora trying to help guess.
“No, Au .. I feel like I've met somewhere else. But I really can't remember where.” is The cloud looks bright still trying to dig into his memory.
Not finding an answer, the Clouds thought it might be true what Aurora had said. Perhaps it was just the feeling of the Clouds seeing the resemblance between Aurora and her mother. But the curiosity is still there.
Clouds returned to Jakarta and arrived at his house in the afternoon, immediately choosing to rest in his room straightening the body. While lying down, suddenly the shadow of Mirna, Mama Aurora, appeared in her mind which re-awakened the lingering curiosity. The clouds started to fidget as a result of wonder why he had become so curious. Trying to ward off his anxiety, Clouds got up and went out of his room to his father's workroom which was downstairs.
His father's work space is one of the favorite spaces for the Clouds in their home. The entire wall looks covered with cabinets full of books in various sizes. Clouds are very happy to spend time in this room because it is arranged in such a way as to become a mini library for their families.
Most of the books are his father's collection, although there are also books by Awan and his sister, as well as his mother. From the title of the book that can be seen that the theme is very diverse, ranging from hobby books to political and literary subjects.
The clouds sat on his father's work chair, circling around while looking around. His heart that had been restless had gradually normalized because it felt the atmosphere of calmness between the books lined up and remembered the good memories spent time reading books in this place. Cloud's eyes that went around then came down to pay attention to his father's desk. There are not many work files on it because his father is actually retired, although he is still often asked for help by his office.
When his gaze was directed at the arrangement of drawers on the right side of his father's desk, the Clouds gasped. A memory was suddenly present, bursting into his mind and opening like a glowing box illuminating the contents of his head. The clouds began to panic and hurriedly opened all the drawers, from top to bottom, examining all the contents of the drawer quickly and fully inquiring, but did not find what he was looking for. A brown box containing white envelopes and some objects belonging to his father while working.
The clouds threw his body onto the back of the chair and exhaled violently. The curiosity that haunted him for a few days, answered already!
The clouds now know why she felt she had seen Mama Aurora's face before. The clouds now knew why he was so curious to find the answer.
The clouds had seen Mama Aurora's face, years before, in a brown box that used to be tucked away in her father's desk drawer.
The clouds feel weak. His whole body was not drained with blood and he felt a tension and anxiety that made him cover his entire face with both hands then slowly massaged his forehead because his head suddenly felt heavy.
At that time Awan sat on the bench of High School and was already in the last year. The clouds no longer remembered what he was looking for in fact back then, but what he remembered it made him open his father's desk drawer. There he finds a box of brown color, which inexplicably draws his heart so he opens it. In the box, Clouds saw several white envelopes with the name of a place, complete with months and years in front of the envelope, and the thick contents of a photo sheet. The name of the place written he recognized as a small town where the location of the factory belongs to his father's office.
The first photo he saw showed a picture of his father with some people who seemed to be his father's coworkers and there was a woman there. The second photo again shows the face of the previous woman, but the atmosphere is more like a banquet. Awan suspects that the woman may be his father's co-worker. However, from his appearance and the file seen in his hand, Awan was inclined to judge that the woman was most likely his father's secretary or assistant.
When I saw the next photo, the clouds were shocked. His breathing stopped. In the photo his father looks relaxed, not with the usual clothes used to the office, but again with the same woman. This time they were in a sitting position, but it was very clear that the woman was in a big pregnant condition. Cloud quickly looked at the next photo which made him even more afraid. In the photo also appears his father with a pregnant woman, but using a different shirt, with the position of the photo standing like in front of a house.
Clouds recalled that at that time he did not dare to continue looking at the other photos because he was too nervous and confused. The clouds rushed to put the photos back in the envelope, put them back in the box, and immediately put them in the drawer. Feelings of fear, confusion, disappointment, anger, all mixed into one.
Does your father have any other wives besides his mother? Does his father have other children besides him and his sister? Is the other wife his secretary? Is her secretary pregnant first? Did mom know? These questions were the ones that once had plagued the mind of Awan since he saw the sheets of photos that were the tip of a fingernail was never imagined by him. The clouds did not dare to ask anyone. He kept to himself the questions and his heart was furious at his father.
Despite having many accusatory questions about his father, Awan still saw before his own eyes how his father and mother looked fine. They both still look friendly even though they have been married long enough. His mother was still often spoiled on his father who as usual responded to his father with fun. Although occasionally arguing, but his father and mother are always praised as a couple who are harmonious and compact.
The real cloud at that time was very confused by all the things he saw. On the one hand he argued negatively about his father and felt sorry for seeing his mother, but on the other hand it was as if the views of the Clouds were all wrong. Not wanting to constantly feel chaotic, Awan was determined and tried hard to go to college outside Jakarta, so he did not need to see his parents every day, especially his father.
That is also one of the reasons why during the lecture Clouds did not dare to approach any woman, including Aurora even though she admitted Aurora was very attractive to her heart. Clouds feels guilty for women, especially her mother and the woman she saw in the photo with her father. It may seem unreasonable, but for some reason when he was in college, that's how he felt. He felt his father had been very wrong with harming the female figure and that it frightened him and preferred to avoid the potential of being able to hurt other women.
After graduating from college and starting to work, the cloud could gradually ignore the photos he had seen. Especially after Awan attended a master's education in the Netherlands, the busyness and ambition to study increasingly high made him start to forget his anger at his father and his sadness for the fate of his mother.
Cloud memories came to a halt and returned to the present moment. His face still looked pale and panic spread throughout his body. “Mama Aurora her father's secretary? Mama Aurora's her father's wife too? So Aurora's her father's son?”
Clouds still remember the year on the white envelope because it was only one year after his sister's birth year. “Aurora is my sister too? Our dad is the same?”
Those questions invaded his mind making his head even more heavy and dizzy.
“Aurora once said that she had not seen her father since she was a child because her father had left her mother. Is that just an excuse her mother made? Is Mama Aurora not officially married to her father? Or is it just to cover up? Or did her father leave Mama Aurora?”
The old question came back to his mind. “Do you know that you have another child?”
The clouds felt like their world was about to collapse. Want it to feel he drowned and then sucked so lost vanished swallowed into the bowels of the earth.
