The Diary Rere

Ten

I entered the 7-H class located on the 2nd floor of the western part of the school, close to the volleyball court. I think 7th grade was a period of drama in my life: first time dating, shunned friends, and other things related to puberty. I remember sitting in a row near the entrance, at the back of the line. In our class there are only 3 rows of tables and benches placed a pair, that means each of us will have a chairmate. I forgot who my first chairmate was, which I remember was one of the pretty gang kids getting into the same class as me, Najla.

Najla and I became chairmate in the first days of school because we knew each other before. In class, Najla still behaves like when in Elementary School, with his bossy attitude, jovial, and easy to get along with others. Then I met two new friends sitting in front of us, named Laila and Sheza. Sheza and Najla have very similar personalities so they both get along quickly. While Laila has a personality that is also jolly but seems more interested in chatting with me than joking with Najla and Sheza. Somehow in the end we exchanged chairdates. I became my partner with Laila, while Najla was with Sheza. That way, Laila became my first close friend in Junior High because we had a lot in common and felt comfortable with each other.

Long story short, we began to get to know each other, familiarize ourselves and blend in. We also began to form small friendship groups or commonly known as “geng”, usually this is based on the location of the bench. Anyone who sits close to us, usually will be more familiar, right? Somehow I also started getting along with Najla, and Najla also seemed to think of me that way. But even though we could say we were gang mates, somehow I still did not consider Najla as my best friend.

With regards to my school, SMP 45 has a slightly different uniform from other SMPs. The difference lies in the skirts for girls which are span model skirts, rather than the stamped models such as skirts that are usually used in other schools. Our skirt remains a blue dongker like the color of SMP skirts in general, but the waist cut is high or if the term is now “high waist”. This skirt makes anyone who has a slightly off-side stomach will look more proportional. When I tried this skirt for the first time, I was so happy because it gave the illusion that our bodies look slimmer than the original. Unfortunately, in every advantage there must be a shortage. Our SMP skirt that span makes the curves of the girls who are pubescent so more prominent.

At first I didn't notice that our skirts made the plump butt of girls so much more obvious, not to mention the line ********** which was also visible. Because of this, for the second time in my life, I was shunned again by my friends. Actually the reason is much more complicated than just “pantat plump lemplak”, but let me explain to you how to sit the case. This story will also be the opening story of my love story that began in Junior High School.

As I said at the beginning, I chose to sit in the row near the entrance, precisely on the third bench from the back. Let me explain first that in Junior High I still feel that I am an ugly fat boy. I don't feel pretty at all. But of course I upgraded myself. In the 7th grade, I replaced my collection of bergoku hijabs with rectangular hijabs. I also accidentally bought a veil interior “Antem”, short for Anti Tembem. The depth of the veil or commonly known as the snail became my best friend at that time, because it succeeded in making my face round and wide to be a little more oval and taper. Few enough. I also still don't know at all about the world of skincare, let alone make up.

One day while we were studying, there was a friend of mine who was sitting at the very end of the line named Feri, caught watching me. I had always felt that someone was looking at me from the end of the line, but when I looked up at the line, he immediately hurriedly threw his face away and returned struggling with his book. It was not long before rumors spread that Feri did like me. Honestly when I heard the rumors, instead of being happy I was surprised. Shocked because I don't believe anyone likes me and shocked because Feri can be said to be included in the category “cogan”, an abbreviation for handsome guy, but why does he like me this fat and ugly girl?

At the time I was not aware that I was going through any changes. Changes that every teenage girl must have. This change is called puberty. I was not aware that I was getting taller, my waist was getting smaller but my hips were getting bigger so that it gave me a guitar-like body shape, my skin was smoother and became a little brighter, she said, my voice was no longer childish and became a little shrill but not to the level of a foreskin, and my face? I didn't know that puberty could also change a person's face from ugly to beautiful, but that seems to be what happened to me.

Then, on a night full of errands, my BB Onyx vibrated and rang “PING!!!”. Of course at that time almost all of us use BlackBerry as a flagship device, still rarely use Android/Iphone. I opened my HP and found that there were some BBM chats coming in from one of my classmates, his name was Marvin. This is what Marvin chatted about that night:

“Halo gw marvin😊”

“Lo Rere right?”

Before replying to the message, I looked at the profile picture first and confirmed that it was Marvin. His profile picture is a captain of one of the top football clubs, and under the photo is written Marvin's full name: Marvin Christian Pasaribu. All right, this is Marvin, my classmate who is Feri's best friend. Marvin sits in front of the ferry.

“Y. What's up??”

I answered briefly BBM from Marvin. Marvin answered quickly.

“Gpp, sellen yes. Gw Marvin😊” answers.

Honestly at that time I was confused again as if people were confused. What's with the two smile emojis Marvin always sends? Why does he say “salken ya” which I want is usually only directed to “beautiful girls”? Marvin what do you want from me?

Over time and thanks to the persistence of Marvin who every time he went home from school always sending BBM messages, we became close and used to tell him about our day and whatever happened to us to each other. Strangely enough our closeness was only intertwined in BBM, but in class we were no more than classmates, even we did not greet each other. Marvin was busy with his boy friends (his gang) and so was I. He rarely stopped by my line, even if he stopped by he didn't see me at all and instead joked with Laila. When I asked at BBM about his attitude that seemed unfamiliar to me in class, Marvin just gave an answer that he did not want anyone to know that he liked me. Do you think that's normal?