The Diary Rere

Satu

My name is Renjana Dusk Kala, commonly called Rere, a 5-year-old girl. Today is my first day of school. Yes, I officially became a student of TK Cahaya Mentari located not far from home.

“Ayuk kak we leave!” Shouted Mbok Nati towards me. I just nodded and followed Mbok Nati who was holding my sister, Anneke Shyla Swastika or what I used to call Anne. My sister was only 3 years old at the time.

We walked together to TK Cahaya Mentari, occasionally Mbok Nati greeted the neighbors.

“Nganter sister, Mbok?” Ask my aunt who lives next to our house, her name is Aunt Fatimah.

“Iya, Fat” Mbok Nati replied.

As we continued, Anne cried out in excitement for her new experience: driving her sister to school.

Arriving at the gate of Kindergarten, I saw many children who were also wearing all-white uniforms like me, carrying a blue bag like the one I wore, with the logo of TK Cahaya Mentari on the front. There are children who were delivered by his mother, his father, even both. Some happy-looking children stepped foot into the gate, welcoming the outstretched hands of young teachers who smiled widely and grinned. But some wept incoherently, removing their veils and ruffling their hair as a symbol of rebellion, and there was even a boy who roared to his mother's feet, hoping not to be left behind.

I who witnessed the dramatic scenes can only look at them with a flat gaze, all I think about is ‘why am I not being ushered by Father and Mother like them?’ Yes, both my parents did work and leave their two children to the nanny, Mbok Nati. Mbok Nati is our neighbor, he lives with his younger brother whom we used to call Om Toni. Mbok Nati has been taking care of me and Anne since Anne was born and I was only 2 years old.

“Skis, log in!” Mbok Nati told me to go inside the gate. I just nodded and waved to him. Mbok Nati went straight with Anne in her cradle.

There is not much I remember about my experience in attending TK Cahaya Mentari. Maybe I will mention some of the events that still stick in my mind until now. I remember this once. One sunny morning in the Kindergarten field, we will learn to make duck eggs from chicken eggs. Bu Asih (my class guardian) has explained to us that each child will only get a ration of 1 chicken egg which will later be covered with clay that has been salted. We lined up holding the chicken eggs with our small hands. Each child is lined up to wait for the turn to roll the clay onto the surface of the chicken egg, then put it in a closed box. When it was my turn, I took out a lump of clay and began to smear it into chicken eggs, then the furore happened when I put the chicken egg by releasing it from a height that was able to make the contents of the egg out aka broken. Instead of putting it carefully next to the other eggs, I instead made a furore that made Bu Asih gap and then covered her mouth with both hands, as if not believing in what had just happened.

“Leave Rere! You know heavy! If Anne is not papa, her body is lightly” Omel Mbok Nati when I flick my hand to her calf.

That afternoon the electricity in our house went down and Mbok Nati tried to restore the position of the meter so that the TV and other electronic equipment were back on. Mbok Nati took a seat and climbed on top of it, trying to restore the meter's position. Suddenly Anne ran towards Mbok Nati who was struggling to reach the meter and began to lurch in her calf, I who saw the excitement was intending to join my sister and join in the calf Mbok Nati. But it turned out that something else happened, when I was the one who was struggling, Mbok Nati's face was angry and his mouth was muttering at me, saying that I was heavy and could have caused Mbok Nati to fall. That day I realized that in Mbok Nati's eyes, Anne and I were different.

Looking back on that day, maybe Mbok Nati does not hate me, but he may be really worried about falling because of the rice sack flailing in his calf. Who know? Mbok Nati not only babysit me and Anne, she also does homework such as cleaning, nyepu, mopping, cooking, shopping, washing dishes, anyway like ART in general. Every morning, Father and Mother will go to work to the Capital and give money to shop for Mbok Nati, not to forget the allowance for me and Anne.

From childhood, I felt that Ms. Nati loved Anne more than I did, probably because she had been taking care of Anne since she was born. As time went on, when Anne and I started attending Elementary School, my feelings for Mbok Nati grew more and more. I felt like I wasn't getting enough love from him. Anne can chat, joke, even insult Mbok Nati as she pleases, while I try to obey her as best I can and be cautious whenever I'm around her.

I remember the moment when Mbok Nati started comparing my physique to Anne's. Anne does have more delicate facial features than I do. People did say that we were both similar, like a betel nut split in two, but still we were both different. Anne is prettier than me, according to Mbok Nati.

It has been 18 years since that day, the first day I went to school and was ushered by Mbok Nati. Today at the age of 23, I was sitting at my desk typing. Typing the pieces of memory that are still recorded in memory to be a story that I hope interesting and full of meaning.

I just graduated from Biology and my activities are now freelancing to become a tutor for elementary school children. I did decide not to start working full-time yet for a strong reason that I was waiting for the announcement of the Master study scholarship to Turkey. My dream was to become a researcher in the field of biology, so I decided to continue my higher education to the country located on the 2 continents.

What about Mbok Nati? His story will still be in future chapters, but now I'm no longer nurtured by him. Now Father and Mother are at home and Rere is now no longer feeling marginalized or lacking in affection.