Strunggle Love

Hubunga Before the Wedding

The day showed at 8:30, "I was even thirty minutes late because I was negotiating with that damn guy for too long" I said as I walked half-run to the elevator.

On the way, I met Alex. He smiled at me, "Senior Morning," he said as he threw a smile at me, my heart beating so fast as he greeted me while smiling at his sweet smile.

And as usual Alex always greeted me, but why today feels so different. Her face looked so sparkling today, or indeed only this time did I really notice her.

I sped up my steps towards the room, I saw my face from the reflection of the mirror, very embarrassing. It could have turned my face like a boiled shrimp like this.

It was still morning but I felt so claustrophobic and sultry to be in the room. My mind was still so ambiguous as to digest some things that I had so suddenly experienced, "What am I doing," my inner self. 

I thought, will continue to shy away from his presence, after all he is only an employee who has not even three months working in this company, it is impossible to continue to meet, he said, in addition to lunch hours or leisure hours, even if by chance.

Geck! Geck! Geck!

The sound of knocking on the door surprised me, I confirmed my sitting position to still look elegant and authoritative, "Come in," my command allowed someone who knocked on the door to enter the room.

"Excuse me Senior." The voice that I wanted to avoid, why suddenly entered my room. I looked slowly at the source of the voice, "You, why are you in my room?" my question is inexhaustible, is not he still in the Training stage.

"Sorry, senior. Today is my first day working as a full-time employee, as well as as your secretary," he replied, sounding relaxed and seemingly without any problems.

"What!" I was surprised by his words, indeed one week ago my father said he would replace a secretary who could follow my work, but I did not expect that Alex would be the secretary of my choice.

Alex smiled at me, it made me feel annoyed, "Then, what are you lingering in my room for" said my cousin who felt uneasy on his face, who looked so calm, so calm, while I was very frustrated with the events we had been through.

"I, deliver this document to seniors, at noon at two, there will be a meeting with clients at cafe xx," he said presenting a document that I must see and sign.

I reached for the document, and seeing her expression return flat, I was astonished by her capricious attitude, "What if I were to discuss the agreement this morning, she would cancel her request," I murmured in my heart. I even hesitated to keep talking about things I didn't want to remember.

However, if in her agreement I had to get married, it felt very unreasonable, let alone her age that was much younger than me, just imagine, seven years younger, it felt very unreasonable.

"Hmm.. Look Alex, can you sit down for a while," I said pointing to the chair beside him. He calmly sat down and said nothing, as if he was a man of obedience to his superior.

"Alex, by agreement this morning, can we change the contents of the agreement" I asked Alex, although his face turned cold with no expression, I still could not continue this baseless relationship.

"I'm sorry, if it's a personal matter, not in this kind of working hours, I hope the senior can understand" he said, standing up, taking the documents in front of me, and leaving me in the room. It was as if he knew what was going to be discussed and he was avoiding it.

I leaned my body on my proud rocking chair, my mind still felt something stuck, I was uneasy, thinking about what my future would be like, even though I knew the ability Alex had, I knew what Alex had, no doubt in the business field. Even I thought, if Alex built a company, the company would grow rapidly.

Twelve o'clock, lunch hour time, very lazy to go out just to buy food, as usual I go to the cafeteria to eat a makeshift menu, usually I accompanied by Risa, my closest friend when I was an intern, even though his position is now only as an employee, I am still good friends with him, but unfortunately he is on vacation with his girlfriend to an island.

I ordered a bowl of cow's kwetiau noodles and a glass of strawberry milkshake, I enjoyed my meal, but my eyes were fixed on a handsome and well-built man, talking to a man

 woman.

"Alex, want to eat?" asked loudly from a woman named Monica, "Yes, this just wanted a message," replied Alex who smiled at him. I don't know why my appetite just disappeared seeing the man who was begging me this morning, now close to another woman.

"Want to eat together?" monica asked with a hopeful face. I looked at her with annoyance, but Alex looked at me, I turned my head straight down, as if I was eating my food. I don't know what they're talking about next, it feels so shitty.

"Can join?" greet a man, he is Alex, "Hm." I replied briefly.

He brought a special plate of fried rice and a glass of lemon tea. Her lips formed a corner of a smile, without saying anything she sat down and ate her food.

"So, What?" he asked me for a moment, "Huh, what." I looked like a silly and stupid person before him, whereas he, was smiling with a slight stifled laughing voice. "You're playing me." I started to make emotions.

"No, I asked you what you wanted to talk about earlier," he replied, now starting to look serious. I paused for a moment, thinking about saying it correctly, I didn't want to say it wrong and make him misunderstand.

"Well, marriage, I don't think I can do it, we don't know each other, and I don't think it's right to just get married." I tried to find words that he could understand, with great difficulty so that there would be no commotion between us.

"Married, it was very difficult and so sudden, yes," he replied, his face suddenly changed without expression, no matter what he was thinking at this time, he said, why is it so difficult to guess the figure of the man who is now in front of me.

"It seems, the break time is over, I need to quickly leave before my boss returns." He just left me leaving me alone. 

I wasn't even given a really satisfactory answer. "An answer like that, can it be said that he approved of my words." I stood up and walked quickly towards the room, feeling annoyed, it felt so fast that time passed.

I thought hard to be able to discuss this matter with Alex, why is it so difficult, even though Alex is not a difficult person to communicate with.

At 13:30 Alex and I went to a cafe for a meeting with a client, a project that was very profitable for the company, but unfortunately at a time like this I was not focused, my mind is cluttered everywhere. 

Lucky I went with Alex, he handled the project and presented it perfectly, "Excellent," I muttered inwardly, I was amazed by Alex's ability. An extraordinary alertness, which is not necessarily owned by others.

I was still thinking, who exactly is the man before me, who is still twenty-three years old, like he already has a lot of experience in business, or this is indeed his talent.

After I finished and got the big project, I celebrated with Alex, I deliberately delayed the time to go back to the office, and I wanted to hear the answer that was really right and satisfied my heart.

"Alex," called me with a sharp and serious look at him. The atmosphere was instantly silent, even though we were in a crowd. He looked down not daring to look at me, "Can we really talk," pressed me on him, I don't want to play around anymore, I had enough of my mind swayed by his actions.

"Your answer is, do you really accept that we don't have to get married?" my question was full of probing at him, He smiled, as if diverting the discussion.

"Why? Why are you laughing?" Full of questions in my head, what he really thought of me, was I just a game for him, "No, senior," he replied, now looking down like a very obedient person.

"I said, marriage is hard. You may be overwhelmed by it, so let's have a relationship before marriage," she replied, gloomily, I don't think about her way of thinking, "Relationship before marriage?" Back to the question I had in my head, what does this mean.

"If senior, burdened with marriage, then we live the relationship before marriage, engagement relationship, I will immediately apply for senior." I was really surprised by the exit she was given, "Fiancee!" I said a little scream, surprised. What sin did I commit, until I was caught in a complicated problem like this.

"We did, for three months sa…."

 "Alex, enough." I interrupted Alex's words as if he didn't want to know, "I know that I was wrong, but it was just a mistake," I said, staring intently at Alex's bowed face, maybe he would cry, but I will no longer be trapped by that pitiful-looking face.

"It's better we get back soon." I stood up rushing off to walk towards the car park. Alex followed me from behind, his expression cold and calm, he sat beside me to drive, the atmosphere during the trip felt so awkward, that we even reached the office, Alex remained silent not saying a word.

I threw just any bag of tenteng that I brought towards the sofa chair, I sat down and leaned back there. "What should I do," my mind remembers the problems that I think are too burdensome for me.