Strunggle Love

A Mistake 1

Pranks!

My phone fell to shreds on the floor when I heard that the most meritorious person in my life was being treated in a hospital in critical condition.

Without saying anything and taking care of others around me, I immediately grabbed the car keys and rushed to drive at high speed.

My thoughts were so chaotic back then, I even broke through the red lights and busway lines to speed up my journey. My heart beats as if my greatest fear is coming.

"I beg you, hold on for me" sobs that I could not endure, tears flowing so profusely. I ran to the IGD room where Dad was being treated.

"Mother!" I shouted as I ran towards him, I rushed to hug the mother who was standing there crying covered her face, our bodies shaking as if feeling the same, my anxiety was getting less basic.

"Mother, how is dad? What the hell is going on? Why are you being treated here?" The questions from me attacked the figure of the meek woman who was now hugging me, trying to calm me down as the same restless feeling enveloped her heart.

"Let Amerta, I'm fine, don't cry. Just pray for the best for your father," replied the Mother as she patted my back with her tenderness.

Simultaneously the Doctor came out of the room, "Doctor, how is my father doing doc?" ask me with reflex directly holding tightly to the doctor's arm.

"Calm down, your father has passed the critical period, he is resting, you should not be disturbed first.I'm sorry." The doctor rushed away after giving us the good news.

Wearing medical clothes, along with a mask and gloves, my mother and I went into the room to see the condition of my father. It was truly my heart that was completely fragile to see the condition of the father lying helplessly on the patient's desk, with oxygen wires covering his nose.

"A-dad, this is Amerta well, Daddy is healing fast yes, Amerta dear father, Amerta promises to always be devoted to Dad," I said as I sobbed, clasped tightly to my father's hand and unceasingly kissed him.

A few days passed, the moment after Dad had improved enough, even though with the work piling up, I remained on standby to continue to look after Dad, sometimes I even take my job to the hospital to keep an eye on and take care of my beloved father.

"Amerta," call Dad when I'm focusing on my work with Alex.

"Yes well, do you need anything, then let Amerta get it," answered me who immediately got up from my seat.

"Can talk for a second" said the father, looking at Alex at a glance, giving him the code to get out of the room. 

"Excuse me, I want to go to the toilet for a while" said Alex, who was immediately sensitive to the gaze of the father. I nodded my head with a smile, the loving gaze may now seem obvious from how I look towards Alex, but it is very difficult to cover up this feeling.

"Amerta." call dad while holding my hand, "Yes dad," I replied softly and attentively, slowly I approached dad and sat down on the chair right beside dad lying down.

"America, I want to see you get married soon" said the father, looking pitifully at me.

"Married!" I was really surprised by my father's words, "Yes Amerta, I'm sorry. But I've prepared everything for you, promise me you won't refuse, I've made a pact with my best friend, I'll betrothed you to his son" said the father, who again surprised me.

"What! Matchmade!" My mind was in a state of chaos, how not, I already had a black and white agreement, how to answer my father's request which was very difficult for me.

I could only be silent, what should I do, what answer should I give. I really can't decide.

Flashback Three Months Ago.

It all started with a mistake I made, I almost ruined everything.

That day, I attended a wedding, in a building, precisely in a five-star hotel, I attended the wedding of someone I loved for the past ten years.

Arfan Alfandro's name is.

We went to the same college, we worked in the same company, I never equalized with him, he was Ceo, the son of Diego Alfandro, the owner of the company where my father and I worked.

As for me, only the adopted son of a Director who works in his company.

I know, my love is clapping one hand, from the beginning only I always loved him, admired him from a distance. I watched him say the word ijab qobul in front of the ruler and the witnesses, clutching the hand of the woman he loved, and now completely belonging to someone else, my heart really hurt, but I know myself, I'm like this, not worthy to expect anything in return.

Ten years of my love clapping one hand, a love that continues to grow without anyone knowing, finally extinct. A love that did not materialize to the end, a feeling that I was unable to convey, I finally got away from the entanglement of my greed, which always wanted it, craving it in my extraordinary fantasy, despite hurting me, he said, I still love him in silence.

I thought I was free and relieved, I thought I would just stop loving her, I didn't. I felt lonely, my mind was tormented, my heart was in pain, half my soul was lost. In a dark room, accompanied by a few bottles of beer, I sat alone like a frustrated man.

I denounced, raged against my own argument, I tried to control myself who was drowning in a sea of wounds in my heart, I felt very lonely, but I wanted to be alone. Facing my own pain without anyone sympathizing.

It turns out I was wrong, I can't be alone, I don't want to be alone, I want someone to comfort me right now, anyone. I don't care who it is, I want someone to hug me right now, say everything's going to be okay, ask me to chase dreams together, hug me when I'm lonely and feel alone like this. Whoever it is, help me, grab me, hug me.

Geck! Geck! Geck!

The sound of a sudden knock on the door from outside, I don't want to answer. I don't want anyone to know I'm here in such a miserable state.

"Senior, are you inside?" lirih a man who is no stranger to me, he is Alex Riandinata, my junior who has just three months of joining the company.

"Senior, are you okay," he said again in a caring tone, I was a little touched by the attention, but I couldn't possibly show my current condition. I can't go out in such a messy state and smell alcohol like this in front of my juniors.

"Go, I'm busy!" ketusku no matter what else, I immediately downed the bottle that was still left in front of me, the cold began to spread in my body, what a shame this fate of mine.

"Sorry senior, I'm really worried about you, I just want to see your condition for a bit." There was a clear voice of worry from his tone, it made my heart a little disturbed, at this time I needed that sympathy from someone, it was a bit disturbing, but it still feels heavy enough to show my bad side like this, really sad, I don't want to be pitied by anyone.

"What's wrong, if senior doesn't let me in, but please calm down, don't cry like that senior, your head will feel dizzy later," he said, who continued to persuade me, I don't know what I'm feeling right now, with a few bottles of beer, I can't get drunk, or just forget my pain.

"Senior, at least let me give you a drink, so that your throat doesn't hurt, senior please." His voice grew hoarse withstanding the cries, the voice that sounded attentive and the worries attracted me, I wanted that sympathy, I wanted warmth from someone.