Sorry I Love You, Friend!

Contrition

Agus walked down the hospital hallway with quick steps. As soon as Nirmala contacted her, Agus immediately left the meeting room with half-running steps, causing dozens of eyes to stare at her with questionable glare. Agus left the meeting members half of whom were executives. The nickname as a workaholic who had been in his cage was not able to make Agus look calm, as a father his heart was pounding with a body that shook fear as soon as he heard the news of his daughter lying in the hospital.

Agus tried hard to make money to make his family happy, especially Aska. He promised Diana - his dead wife, to always make Aska happy. Agus did not understand the true meaning of the word happy, all he could do was make sure all Aska's needs were met. Agus lavished his little daughter with material, making sure Aska never felt any flaws.

But slowly Agus realized, Aska was not happy. Not the money that Aska needed. The princess needs special attention from her parents. He needs the presence of a father who is able to strengthen him, masking the loss he feels about the figure of a mother.

Upon hearing the news of Aska trying to commit suicide made Agus' memory return at the moment of Diana's departure, the woman he loved so much was picked up by the death in the process of Aska's childbirth. At that time Agus was very afraid, just as he now felt. Agus was not ready to go back to losing his loved ones.

Nirmala patted her husband's shoulder. He knew Agus was anxious waiting for the certainty of Aska's condition. Two hours passed but the doctor had not yet come out of the ER room, Aldi who entered with the doctor also did not come out.

"Why did Aska do this?” agus asked with a trembling voice.

Nirmala nodded weakly.

Agus bent his face staring at the white tiled floor while chanting a row of prayers in his heart.

...***...

Aska sat on the garden chair, her eyes looking around her. A small square garden planted with a variety of flowers, looks like a garden behind Nirmala in a larger version. Aska smiled, her feelings were completely calm. Blowing breeze touched his skin, it felt soothing. Aska is happy to be here, she feels peace, but where is this place? It's not hell, is it heaven?

Am I dead already? Then I can meet Bima. Ah, I forgot. Wasn't I sure Bima hadn't died so there was no way I would have met her.

“Aska,”

Aska turned to look for the origin of the voice that called out to her.

The mama?

Aska was stunned as soon as she saw the woman believed to be her biological mother. The woman that can only be seen in the photo, the woman who died in childbirth. My mom is so much prettier than she looks in the picture.

“Ma,” since when, the two stand facing each other. “Ma,” call Aska again.

The joy that rose in his heart stopped the barrage of words he had once composed. Aska always waited for a moment like this in her childhood, so she compiled a row of questions that she would ask if she met her mother someday, but now everything is gone as if evaporating.

Aska closed her eyes when she felt her hand grab her face. Warm and comfortable, she never knew what a mother's caress felt like. Although no longer rejecting the presence of Nirmala as Papa's wife, Aska still can not accept the woman as a mother who replaces the existence of a biological mother in her life.

Mama said nothing, but Aska could feel the warmth of affection just from her touch. Slowly tears came out of the corner of Aska's eyes, happiness and longing combined to fill the recesses of her heart. Pushing tears to express what he is feeling right now.

“Aska,”

Aska opened her eyes, she heard Papa's voice calling out to her. Mama nodded, releasing her hands from Aska's face. He smiled and then slowly stepped back. Aska immediately stepped forward but mom held him back, she asked Aska to turn around leaving him.

“Ma, Aska want to be with mama aja," whine Aska. His feet were about to approach my mother again. Mama shook her head quickly then waved, telling Aska to leave.

“ASKA.” The long call knocked Aska's body unconscious.

...***...

Aska opened her eyes slowly and she immediately found Papa and Nirmala looking at her with a face filled with anxious look. Next to them was Aldi who was also staring at him. What is this mad scientist doing here? Wasn't he busy with his research?

“Thank God Aska,” sigh Nirmala relieved. He tightly gripped Aska's fingers.

Aska braked slowly. Nasal Kanul hanging on his nose felt disturbing the view.

How long has he been unconscious? Why was everyone staring at him as if he had just woken up from the dead. Aska closed her heavy eyes again. The sleepiness brings it back to the subconscious.

...***...

"Son, can I talk?"

Aska, who was staring at the tablet to check the work email sent by Ela, turned her attention to Nirmala who had just arrived.

"Do you still have any objections to Mom's whereabouts?" He continued because he did not hear the answer from Aska.

Aska sighed softly and then shook her head. "No."

Nirmala pulls Aska's hand, holding her firmly in her arms as Aska tries to evade. "Then? Can you tell me what your reason is, son?"

Aska was silent, she did not know what to say to her stepmother. Broadly speaking, Aska has long accepted the presence of Nirmala and Aldi as a new family in his life. But Aska's body spontaneously dodged whenever Nirmala tried to approach her. Aska knows this is not hate but more on Aska's anxiety about Nirmala and Aldi's rejection of him. Aska always felt uncomfortable being in an environment that was unfamiliar to her. The only person who can make Aska comfortable is only Bima.

"Tante," Aska was silent for a moment to compose the next sentence. "I'm no longer opposed to Papa's marriage to Aunt but,"

Nirmala looked at him calmly. He had gathered the courage to talk openly with Aska. On the day that Aska was rushed to the hospital, Nirmala felt fear, she was afraid that the reason Aska tried to kill herself was because of her marriage to Agus. Nirmala could not bear this much guilt. He would rather step down if Aska still heavily accepts this marriage.

"It's okay son, Auntie is happy enough if you want to accept Aunt and Aldi," said Nirmala. His voice held back the cries. His heart sighed in relief because it was detached from the feeling of guilt.

Aska caught a sad look on Nirmala's face. Since opening her eyes, Aska found various expressions from the people around her, ranging from sad, afraid and even disappointed in the eyes of Papa, Nirmala and even Aldi.

"Tante," Doubtful Aska replied to Nirmala's hand on her finger. "Sorry, but Aska still needs time to be able to call Auntie, Mom. Sorry," sigh Aska.

Nirmala shook her head quickly, "not Aska. You don't have to apologize. Auntie will wait until you're ready." Nirmala said in relief. He pulled Aska into his arms. Swiping the darling of the back of the child.

...***...

“Aska, never forget to take your medicine. Until your condition stabilizes, this drug will be your companion. You understand right?”

Aska nodded. He understands the identity of Doctor Rayyan, Papa's best friend has been the personal doctor who treated Aska since the age of eight years.

“Doctor, my illness my current psychological condition can affect my mind?” Ask Aska suddenly. Somehow his mouth was moved to ask the possibility of his mental disturbance towards what he was feeling at the moment.

“You mean about Bima?”

Aska nodded slowly.

Rayyan sighed for a moment then refocused her attention on Aska.

“As a doctor, I would say, yes! Your current state of 80% will affect your mindset. But,” Rayyan was silent for a moment before continuing her words. "As a friend it never hurts you to try to understand the remaining 20%" he continued.

Aska tried to digest the meaning of the sentence doctor Rayyan. So which one should he consider as reality? 80% or 20%?

...***...

Rani sat in the front yard of her house, her eyes looking off without direction. The sense of loss still affects his days. Even the job that had been a top priority was unable to make him forget the sense of losing his best son.

"Auntie,"

Rani looked up, as soon as she found Aska standing before her. "Have you come home, Aska?"

Aska nodded slowly. "Some aunt?"

Rani simply commented on a cold smile. He could not find a proper reason to hate his son's best friend. On the one hand Rani does not want Aska to appear again in front of her with all the nonsense that says that Bima is still alive, it only makes Rani's heart more sick and difficult to accept the departure of her son. But in the corner of his heart, Rani hopes Aska's premonition is right, even though only the pseudo hope Rani wants to believe Aska's words.

"Tante, although only 20% but I'm sure Bima is still alive. I'm not asking Aunt to believe me, but I beg Auntie not to hate me. Aska promise,"

Aska crouched down before Rani, swept her hand and looked at the woman's eyes with a stern look.

"Aska promises to bring Bima home" he said confidently.

...****************...