Should We Divorce?

38

Time showed at sixty-thirty in the morning when a white Alphard belonging to the Raharja family parked in front of Ares' house, then followed by a black SUV owned by Henrialdi Risjad and his wife.

Seno Raharja went down first after being opened the door by the driver. Then followed his wife and lastly Serena.

Yes, Serena is out of the hospital. More like a little forcing. He felt he did not need to lie there too long because the wound he experienced was not too severe even though his stomach was still a bit painful.

Before entering, Serena briefly stared at the two-story building she had lived in for 5 years. Soon all the memories in his mind seemed to be parked in plain sight. Likes, cries, loathes, resentments and anger, struggles, so many memories have been made there. And maybe, soon this house will also be a memory for him. Given that he will no longer live in it after this decision he took.

Serena was almost lulled in grief if her shoulders were not squeezed by someone who turned out to be her father.

"Are you all right?"

From within the eyes of Seno Raharja Serena found anxiety. As if he was afraid that his daughter would be defeated by memories and change her decision.

But, Serena smiled slightly. He has established the heart. The melancholic side was indeed stifled because of nostalgia. But that doesn't mean he's weak. It will not change his decision.

"I'm okay, Pa," then he glanced at his mother and Ares' parents. "Let's go in."

Arriving inside, the first person Serena saw was Mbok Nunik who was sweeping the living room. The middle-aged woman looked a little surprised which seemed to lead to the arrival of the old men. Immediately he leaned his broom and approached the host.

"Good morning, Mr. Madam." His body slightly bent.

"Good morning, Mbok." Serena is friendly.

"Same master what does the big madam want to make you drink?"

"No need, Mbok," Serena rubbed Mbok Nunik's shoulder. "We're only here for a minute. Just wanted to see Altan. Where's the altan, huh?"

"Den Altan's in the backyard, ma'am. Playing with rabbits."

Knowing that, Serena smiled. Altan and his rabbit are inseparable. One month ago he complained that there were no friends playing at home, until Ares bought a rabbit instead.

Huh, Ares. You are not a good husband to me. But you're a good father to Altan.

Serena took a slow breath about Ares, then intended to catch up with Altan.

"Wait."

Suddenly, Serena's steps were stifled due to the sound of the sound. He looked up at the stairs, and found Ares standing there fully dressed.

The sound of Ares' shoes fills this silence. The man's face was so calm with no expression. Trying his best to hide the turmoil of his heart because he met Serena again and was shocked at her return. Plus with their parents.

"What are you all coming to my house?" It is a rude greeting to greet the parents. What's more, it's coldly spoken. But, believe me, Ares is controlling his heartbeat to be a little normal.

"Quietly," Serena replied no less arrogantly realizing Ares objected to the presence of their parents. "I didn't bring them here to make you anxious. I just want to see Altan. And they came because Abis picked me home. Thats it."

"What are you doing, especially if they're still here? You came home safe, right? No need to control them anymore."

"Matures!" jolt a voice that turned out to be Henrialdi Risjad-his own father. "That's how you talk to us?! Where's your manners?!"

"Calm down, Pa," his mother Ares said coldly and with a flash of angry eyes at the prince. "We came here to meet Altan, not to serve someone like him. If it wasn't for Altan, we wouldn't have set foot here either."  

Yolita Risjad turned her eyes to Serena. "Sere, meet Altan. The host gave us limited time. We gotta get out of here quick."

Ignoring her mother-in-law's sharp innuendo that must have been fixed on Ares, Serena nodded. He left the living room to the backyard.

It wasn't hard for Serena to find Altan. The boy was squatting on the lawn feeding carrots to his white rabbit. Serena immediately walked over to her son with a warm feeling. Truly, one day not to meet it feels very longing.

"Hap." Serena, who was crouching, hugged Altan from behind.

The 4-year-old boy looked back, and immediately turned around and stood up when he found out it was his mother. "Mamiiiii."

"Hi, dear," Serena smiled broadly rubbing Altan's face. "Do you miss me?"

Chief Altan nengguk-nangguk fast. "Where are you from? Why wasn't Mom home yesterday?"

Serena's eye-light changed to remember yesterday was so heavy she lived. How does this explain to Altan that he failed to give him a real 'playmate?

"I'm sorry, honey, yesterday Mami had a little business. So Mama can't go home. Altan's all right at home?"

"Hm" he answered short, because his tiny hand instead misfocused on holding a bandage on his mother's forehead. "But, Mami's forehead why bandaged? Wound mom?"

Spontaneous Serena also touched his forehead. "O-oh this. It's just a small wound. Mom accidentally stuck in the car. Now it's a gapapa, really. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"You're not sick, Mami wants to play rabbit? The rabbit had already fed Altan. So he can run away strong."

Just as Serena was about to open her mouth, Ares' presence ruined everything. For a moment, Serena looked at the man. Do you think this is a good time to talk to him?

"Mommy, come. Papi come along too."

"Uhm... Honey," replied Serena stiffly. "Why play with the rabbit later? Altan hasn't had a shower, has he? If Altan stinks, then the rabbit does not want to be whipped, you know. Better take a shower now. After bathing and scented, we play rabbits. How's it?"

The boy's clear eyes looked at his mother and father in turn. Then he innocently nodded.

"Yes already. A nice shower, yes. Ask for help with Mbok. Mommy wants to talk to Papi for a minute."

"okay."

After Altan left the garden of the house, Serena stood up with a rough sigh. Standing face to face with Ares, he put on an equally cold face. Not affected by her husband's bullying.

"Today I'm leaving this house" Serena said calmly. But he realized Ares was a bit stiff. "I agree we're divorced."

The tension in Ares' face was becoming more and more unresolved. Get out of the house? Divorced? Ares knew he shouldn't be surprised because this was his wish. But, hearing this straight from Serena's lips, Ares' heart was stung tight. So hurt. He really didn't expect this from Serena.

"You take care of everything, Res. I won't make it difficult for you. I'll make sure I'm cooperative. And yes, during our divorce, Altan came with me."

From the tense, Ares's face turned tight. There was rejection in her eyes for Serena's decision. "Don't expect you to be able to do that. I'll never let Altan get out of here with you. Never will!"

"I'm his mother. I'm entitled to Altan."

"I never deny that fact. But you decided to leave here. So it's a risk."

"You forgot you asked for a divorce yesterday? You think after that and everything that happened, I still want to stay here?"

"You go. Go yourself. Don't drag Altan in our problems."

"I took Altan away just to keep him away from this problem. If Altan was here, he would keep asking about his mother's whereabouts. He won't be able to settle down with you."

"Don't get your ass! You don't think Altan can live without kam-kam

"Yes! Can't! Because Altan's been more used to being without you than without me! It'll be easier to explain where you are than where I am. That way Altan will not continue to think and go too far in our problems. Understood?"

Ares' lips curl up tightly. Serena's answer silenced her. Ares does not know what to answer if Altan asks about his mother. Moreover, Altan so can not be far from Serena. He will surely continue to wonder and gradually realize something is wrong with his parents.

"Denger, Antares," Serena's volume shrank. "Everyone would agree that a child as small as Altan still desperately needs his mother. You can't forbid me to take him. I lost enough of my son yesterday. I won't let my other kids get away from me either."

Starting to feel claustrophobic because of the events of yesterday, Serena chose to look from the presence of Ares. While here, Ares blinked his eyes slowly realizing that this was all his fault. This is the result he should accept. The household is destroyed. Abandoned by his own son.

...• • • • •...

Serena was packing Altan's clothes into the suitcase when her hand clutched her son's sleeping pillow until it fell to the floor. He picked up the pillow and suddenly found an awkwardness when tearing it. The pillow feels damp. Like wet all night. Serena looked up, thinking if Altan's room AC was leaking?

"Mommy."

The call from Altan made Serena turn her head. The prince came out of the bathroom with Mbok Nunik. The boy in the light blue kimono met his mother on the edge of the bed with a look of wonder.

"Mommy, why are my clothes in my suitcase?"

Serena put on a knotty smile while trying to string words in her brain. He kept the pillow with a million questions, then reached both shoulders of the prince and rubbed it slowly.

"We're going on vacation, honey. That's why Mami packed Altan's clothes."

"Vacation?"

"Hm."

"Where?"

"To a beautiful place and definitely Altan likes."

"When?"

"Now."

"Now? But I took a shower. Mami said, if I had taken a bath we would play rabbit."

"We're playing rabbit on vacation, huh? There we can play it all. It must be more exciting."

Not to mention Altan replied, again Ares was present among them. The arrival of the man caught the attention of Serena and Altan. Moreover, Serena, she saw Ares' face so lethargic and sad. The cold aura that Ares had, Serena no longer saw now. Serena knew, this must be because her plan was to get Altan out of here.

Realizing the atmosphere was starting to feel bad, Mbok Nunik covered going through Ares in the doorway. 

"Fire" Altan ran up to his father and stood in front of him. "Said Mami we want a vacation. Where's the vacation, Pi?"

Ares weakly looked at Serena. Knowing for sure this was the reason for taking Altan away.

Expelling the distress that began to perch in the heart, Ares took a slow breath and focused his knees to align with Altan. At first he held onto Altan's shoulders, then, unable to bear it, he took Altan into his arms.

Behind Altan's back, Ares closed his eyes.***************Altan's kimono regardless of the wetness on his shirt. There was nothing Ares really wanted to do right now other than to hold Altan tightly. Soon this little body will not be seen again. The altars will go. Ares doesn't know when he can linger like this other than today. Ares doesn't even know when he can hold Altan like this.

Feeling confused, Altan rewinded his body until the sad face of the father he could see clearly.

"But why?"

With his eyes already heating up, Ares just silently responded to Altan's question. He has no answer. It is impossible to explain that he was so sad because he let Altan go.

Luckily, Serena came over. Holding his son's shoulder until Altan looked up.

"But we're not going on vacation, honey."

His eyebrows were confused. "Why?"

Serena threw a glance at Ares for a while, then returned to Altan. "Boy still has work here. His work cannot be left."

"But how can we go on vacation if Papi doesn't come? I don't want to go without Papi."

"It's only while we're on vacation without Papi. If Papi's work is done later... Papi overtakes us."

"You know, we'll go after Papi's work is done."

"Can't do it, honey. We-we-

"I don't want to go with Papi. Don't want to!"

Looking stubbornly at Altan, Ares felt he had to act. Soon he grabbed his son's hand to give him understanding. "Altan, what Mami says is true. Papi still has work here. Papi can't come now."

"But I don't want to go if I'm not with Papi."

"It won't be long, honey. Just briefly. Later Papi will follow if there is no work."

"really? Promise, Pi?"

Ares just smiled stiffly. He never reneged on his promise to Altan. Knowing that this one promise will never be kept, Ares chose not to agree. "Altan is fine there. Don't be naughty."

"Altan will miss Papi."

Despite being in such a cloudy mood, Ares forced a smile. He cupped his son's face, then landed an old kiss on Altan's forehead. "Bapi will definitely miss Altan."

"Come," Serena grabbed Altan's hand. "Change first, honey."

...• • • • •...

A strong wind swirled before Ares as he led Altan's hand out of the room. The coldness that spread in his chest made his heart freeze until the air supply could not pass. Time seemed to want to torture him more by spinning slowly. He shivered bitterly.

One hand held Altan's suitcase, the other he used to hold the prince. Meanwhile, next to Altan was Serena doing something similar. Every step he took, Ares felt himself dead many times. It feels like walking on coals is better than this.

With a blank look Ares stepped down the stairs. In the last two days, this is the second time Ares has felt so broken and broken. The first is when hearing the doctor's statement that the baby did not survive. The second is now. Delivering his own child to leave him never imagined he would experience in his life. He never had a day like this before.

In front of the door of the house that opened wide, Ares found both his parents and Serena's parents were already standing in front of their respective cars. As if, they were already very prepared to take his Altannya away. Seen from how Seno Raharja robbed Altan's suitcase from his hands.

It's just a suitcase. And Ares already felt as if half his heart had just been taken away. And when Altan let go of his grasp, Ares felt his soul and body completely gone. Altan's hand-dropping from the car was the last thing that made Ares realize he was alive. The rest is no longer. He died at that time.

His entire breath was drawn away in tandem with the speed of the car that was starting to leave the yard.

Secretly, Ares hoped that this was all a dream. Let's say it's worse that he's lost his mind and all this is just a hallucination. That sounds better than knowing the fact that all of this is real.

Yep. The facts. Unreal.

A real fact that made his body slump to the floor. His eyes that had been blushing, finally launched a clear liquid that contained deep sorrow. Ares' shoulder trembled as his cry grew uncontrollable.

This view is as beautiful as it was in the hospital. Same pain. Losing him for the same.

Again. Again and again Ares had to lose the people he loved.

...• • • • •...

It had been ten minutes since the incident had passed, but Ares' cries had not stopped. He was looking down to hit his chest which felt very tight. He was angry, upset, and hated himself who had to be this weak. Can't he stop crying for a second? Why do you regret it now? Why is he crying over all this? God will never bring Altan or Serena back into his life again. God will not grant a sinner's prayer like his. It will never!

"Res?"

Ares slowly raised his head to see who the owner of the voice was. A moment after he saw who the figure was, the look on his face turned sharp and furious. "Why did you come here?"

"Res, i-i---

Ares rubbed his wet face and stood up. "Should you come here when I am like this, Carnation? Shall?"

"Res, that's exactly what I came here for. I know you're really ruined. I saw for myself how Serena took your son away. I-i---

"good. Good if you see for yourself. What do you think? Do you think I have not suffered enough? I haven't been tortured enough? That's why you came here to add to my destruction? That so?"

"What did you say, Res? I can't possibly think of it like that. I'm just here to get you. I don't want you to grieve alone."

"Make what? What's it doing, huh? Your concern is too late. It's too late! My son has left. Both gone! There is no point in you mourning me. I am dead myself! Die!"

"Please don't tell me nothing, Res. You can't talk like that."

"Why? Why can't you?! Do you think I can still live after losing everything?! Can still?!"

"But you still have me, Res. I'll always be there for you like you were there for me."

"But I don't need you, Carnation! Don't need! All I need is my family and my children! And you can't give all that to me! CAN'T!"

Anye's hands are mutually************ down there upset to see Ares desperate like this. He hates to see Ares like this. "You know it's impossible to go back to you, why are you like this? Why are you crying, Res? Make what?! You are angry with me for thinking what am I wrong for?! Serena or your child can't come back!"

"ENGINEER!" Ares' hand was already on the air wanting to throw a slap. But thankfully he was still conscious enough not to hurt women.

"It wasn't me that was supposed to be slapped. I wasn't. You're the one who should slap yourself so you realize all this is free. Your anger, your hatred, all this is useless. You're too late to act like this..."

"...you unfairly just accuse me as if you were sinless. From the beginning, it was you who brought me into your domestic problems. Even without my presence, your household has already been damaged..."

"...kalo you said I was wrong, fine I was wrong. I was wrong to be present again in your life and make Serena misunderstand until she lost her baby. I'm very, very guilty because of that malem I put sleeping pills into your drink until you're unconscious and we sleep together."

Ares felt his eyeballs would be out of place right now. What say? What did he say?

"Yes, Res. I'm. I'm the guy. I was the one who planned that. I trapped you in that malem!"

Ares' jaw tightens. "You-you---

"But!" Anye pointed her index finger. "I've got alesan ngelakuin that. I have alesan! Do you know what the ales are? Tau? I do it all because I like you! I LIKE YOU, ANTARES!"

A bomb was dropped on Ares' head and exploded so fiercely that it made a loud bang in Ares' mind.

"I've liked you for a long time. We both grew up and even today. But, you never once squirmed me. You always thought we were just sisters. I want you to love me, but the affection you give me is just compassion and responsibility..."

"...I admit this was forced. Compulsory, Res. I just want to have you as a man. Not a sister to her brother. That's aja. I never once had bad intentions with Serena especially to make you guys become like gini. I'm not that bad. You don't deserve to hate me like this. I can't hate you, Antares!"

Ares was completely at a loss for words to respond to Carnations. He could not understand how a woman who had been so far as he believed could do something as low as this just because of love. Love she say? How could he possibly love Ares? He should have known that Ares could never repay the love of the woman he considered to be his own sister. Not likely.

Ares really doesn't believe this.

"You may not be that bad, Carnations. But you don't think first that what you're doing is destroying my household. No wife would accept her husband to sleep with another woman."

Carnations open their mouths ready to deny. But soon Ares opened his palm in front of Anye's face.

"Enough. Enough of all this. I'm tired of talking about it all the time. It would be better not to meet first. Or if you can, don't see me next."

...• • • • •...

"Are you sitting comfortably, honey?"

Altan nodded. "Mommy, we're on a long vacation, are we on a plane?"

"Not far away. We get on a plane to be more quiet. Let's take a vacation."

Instead of returning his mother's smile, Altan looked at the small window next to him. Out there, he saw such a large field. A lot of people were gnawing their suitcases in a row. There were also a few small children who carried their father with happy smiles. Altan imagined if he was the one being carried by his father and laughed happily like them. The holidays will be much more fun.

"Altan." Serena rubbed Altan's shoulder.

"Mommy, I want to kayak them" Altan's index finger pointed out. "They can go with the Papi, why can't I, Mi? Is it Papi they don't work like Papi?"

Understanding the sadness of her son, Serena sighed softly. "Darling, everyone is different. Papi Altan and Papi they are different. Their work is different too. Maybe their Papi job is done. So, Altan doesn't have to be sad anymore."

Altan pursed his lips sulking. "Definitely if the holiday Papi is exciting. Papi won't be sad anymore like a semalem."

Next to her, Serena frowned confusedly. "Hm? Saddened?"

Altan looked at his mother. "Semalem sleep time, Papi cry. My pillow got wet with Papi's tears. I don't know why Papi is sad."

Ares crying? Wh why? Because what? Serena recalled the pillow Altan had suspected. Altan said Ares made his pillow wet with his tears. So Ares really cried? So the pillow wasn't damp because the AC was leaking but Ares' tears? But why is Ares crying that much? Is it possible that Ares is crying over him? Or are Ares crying over their son's departure? Or maybe... Ares crying about the divorce?