Sharing Love: Puspita East & West
Ask and Answer
"Every one of you is a leader and every one of you will be held accountable. A man is the leader of his family and he will be held accountable. A woman is the leader of her husband's house, and she will be held accountable. A slave is also the leader of his master's property and he will also be held accountable. Truly every one of you is a leader and every one of you will be held accountable.”
“That is the word of the Prophet SAW.,” said Aminah after finishing reading a hadith, “What can you conclude from this hadith?”
Anastasia shook her head. He doesn't understand at all. What her sister had just read did not answer her question about polygamy at all. What does leadership have to do with polygamy? There's nothing at all. Asya wanted to say that, but she hesitated to reveal it and could only be silent while waiting for an explanation.
“First, I want to give you a comparison between paligami and polyandry,” Aminah explained, “Why does Islam allow a man to be polygamous, whereas a woman cannot be polyandry?”
Anastasia nodded. He wanted to hear an explanation for that. It would be good if he found out.
“Secondly, I want us to reflect between justice and equality,” Aminah opens her index and middle fingers, showing the number two, “Are they the same? Which is better? Justice or equality?”
Asya nodded back. He began to ponder these questions.
“The story I read earlier is an explanation that the responsibilities of men outweigh the responsibilities of women. He was the leader of his entire family. In the family there are children and wives. He has to give a living and keep them from the heat of the hellfire,” said Aminah began to explain, “Well, why are men given such great responsibility?”
“It ...,” Anastasia very clearly knows the answer, “Because generally men are stronger than women, both in physical and in reason. They can work harder than women and are able to decide more carefully with their logic.”
“Quickly!” Aminah smile. It is nice to have a smart friend, “Because of that, it is unfair that we balance rights and obligations between men and women, while both have different abilities. You understand what I mean, right? The equalization hit both sides equally. In this aspect, it is obviously unfair to equalize both of those things. Women will be greatly harmed by it.”
Anastasia fell silent. The empty cup was filled by Aminah. Eating and drinking that sweet is fitting to cool his thinking head.
“Then, let's discuss more about the physical differences and conditions between men and women,” Aminah clapped her hands once after finishing pouring new tea on Asya, “In this aspect, the, women do not have a match for polyandry because it is she who is pregnant. If the woman is polyandry, her child will not have clarity of nasab because the egg is fertilized by more than one owner ****.”
Anastasia frowned. He did not understand Aminah's meaning.
“His formula, the child cannot know where his father is,” Aminah explained, “Then, a woman will not be able to fulfill her obligations to her husband properly if she has polyandry. You must understand the duties of a wife, right? So, imagine if you had many husbands? Of course it is very illogical to weigh how physical women are generally.”
“While men,” continued Aminah, “They have the ability to remain fair to each of his wives. If he feels unable to be fair, then it is enough for him one.”
“But, doesn't polygamy hurt women's day?” Anastasia understood Aminah's intentions. Although she was a second wife, she was jealous. Especially after his love for Amir began to bloom. She was afraid that someday her husband would just leave her.
“True, that's the nature of women,” reply Aminah who again smiled bitterly, “Because of that, in the beginning I said that the key was patience. Whoever is patient, then for him the reward is unequal. I'm still trying to train him until now and will continue to train him.”
Aminah long silent. His smile slowly faded. The pain and jealousy again poked his heart. He was eager to throw this woman in front of him out of his place. However, he knew that it added absolutely nothing but damage.
Anastasia was further bowed because Aminah did not answer. He was afraid that Aminah would shake like that. His life will change after this. He did not want to imagine it, especially Amir had touched it.
“I ...,” Aminah's soft voice cut off. Anastasia who heard him grew agitated. What would his brother say? Will he be expelled? Or is it accepted as he has been through all this time?
“I want to be able to receive you with a spacious chest, hopefully I can do it,” Aminah speech like the spring breeze that blew Asya's heart. I don't know why he's happy. Maybe because he was treated well? Could it be because he would not be swayed in uncertainty? Or because she wanted to stay with her husband, Amir?
Asya doesn't understand at all. His heart rippled between joy and sorrow. His tears slowly gathered in his eyes, then dripped profusely on his cheeks. A moment later, he sobbed and cried. Closing the sad face with both hands, then saying the word, “Sorry. Sorry ... and thank you.”
Aminah shut her mouth. I don't know why I want to cry. Is that crying contagious? His tears were completely spilled though not as much as Asya. However, because of that cry, his heart felt better. The wounds in his heart as if flowing fell along with those teardrops. He got up and gave Asya a warm embrace.
The two of them cried together for a while. When the two stopped, the awkwardness returned. They were silent to each other, but none of them had moved from their stools as if this conversation was still not over and had to continue.
Asya's mouth opened again when his eyes saw children running in front of the manau. He wants to say something, but he doesn't know how to say it yet. His mind drifted into the future, imagining the good times that might be coming soon.
“The kids are very active and adorable right?” Aminah finally reopened the conversation. Asya also nodded. He told how he wanted to be able to become familiar with Hanif and Sharif. Aminah heard it with reverence. Sometimes she laughs when she hears the adorable behavior of her children.
“Kakak will soon have another child. What's name?” Asya began to be able to communicate casually after the chatter just flowed. Aminah immediately replied, “Name Latif, but I want her name Latifah.”
“Hm? Sounds similar,” Asya raised next to her eyebrows. His fingers twisted the tip of the veil he was wearing. Aminah nodded and said, “Even the same. I mean, I want to have another boy. So, her name is Latif. It will be a children's compact. Hanif, Sharif, Latif. But I want a daughter. So, her name is Latifah. You will be born a daughter to him.”
Asya's face instantly met with red. He closed his face quickly so as not to be caught by Aminah. The shadow of his first experience last night so reappeared in his mind. Asya really couldn't dodge it.
Aminah laughed at Asya's funny behavior. Amir also likes to make it blush. It turned out that the pleasure her husband felt was similar to this. He no longer thought about his jealousy. He began to be patient and grateful. Well, being grateful that honey is not a proud, evil woman.
Their conversation continues. Aminah only stops when it is time to perform fardu prayer. Asya watched him from the deck while he was worshipping. As they continued the conversation, Asya asked about Aminah's pregnant condition. Does he mind worship?
“No, precisely if lazing will bring bad effects,” replied Aminah relaxed, “When pregnant later, try to stay active. However, don't be too sassy either. Read lots of prayers and remembrance so that your sensitive heart can be calmer. If it's time later, I also want to teach you to read the Quran’an because in the Qur’an it healer.”
