Red Box

Box 14: Not Funny at All!

"Why are you doing this, Dim?!"

For some reason, I suddenly remembered my mother's previous message.

...****************...

When I was a kid, I was just a normal kid. Likes to study outside, and is happy to be able to answer the teacher's questions. Especially if it is told to go straight home.

I will definitely walk with arrogance, as if the most intelligent beings in the universe will pass by. Really, I never thought of being what I am today.

The SMP period is a turning point for life change. A smart boy who used to be a lot of friends, now abandoned. They are more interested in the Bandel who does not stop making a tantrum.

I changed myself as the environment demanded it. Being submissive in those days would only make me a target for bullying. At first it was fun, but then I realized; that was not me.

Skipping school, fighting teachers, judging classmates, joking at class hours, and fighting. In fact, I was once a bully. The surroundings that seemed supportive made me feel so strong. Until something changed everything.

If it's not wrong, "for one, it's enough for one to bear everyone's fault."

That's what they said when they forced me to smoke, at WC students. That's a very impressive motto. But only when I first heard. In fact, it's just bullshit.

Whoever the originator is, I hope hell is his future.

Honestly, I don't like smoking, even coughing while doing it. But it feels so cool. We laughed quite loudly, then when I stopped and decided to go back to class, someone carelessly was still there. When the lesson hours have begun.

Know what happened then?

A teacher found him alone. He was sentenced to smoke half a pack of kretek cigarettes at once.

How funny!

Whoever he is, I think he forgot to bring his brains to school. I laughed the loudest until the next day, the BP teacher called my name in the middle of the first hour lesson.

Kingkong boy! What ideology are you saying? Where is the true unity and friendship you have always talked about?

What happened then was just pointing at each other not wanting to be tried. For the first time in his life, my father had to come to school to talk about this pathetic feat. And it's not the last one.

I felt annoyed at some people after that. We often fuss until we often fight. Again my father was called, even given a stern warning this time.

Not that they are not strict enough, the various punishments they have applied. However, things only got worse as the school became something I hated more and more.

Fights create grudges, and grudges so easily spread until they start attacking me in groups. From there I learned; how not to be a victim of bullying.

At some point, the school finally gave up and asked my parents to move me. Long story short I moved schools, something I always remembered as a big change in my life.

......................

There, I had trouble socializing and was often alone. The first thing I learned from my new environment was; human relationships were rotten, like carrion.

People just pretend to be good up front. In the back, they're bad-mouthing champions. Not to mention that the talk is always changing like a fan.

Sometimes to the left, right, top, bottom, just as long as he is safe, the fact that the sun rises from the east, they are willing to turn around.

I hope someone burns them!

Wherever, there is a gathering, there must be unnecessary talk. I began to feel that it would be something terrible if I forced myself to join, so I decided to withdraw slowly.

Don't say much, close your eyes and ears, stay away from the crowd. All I wanted was to pass, and then without feeling a year passed.

Funny thing is, I want to go to public school, even though my grades are mediocre.

I just hope, "people with intelligent minds won't do what I usually see."

My mother repeatedly asked me where I was going next, but my answer never changed. Who would have thought, the next day I was actually accepted into that school.

Apparently, the standard of public schools is shallow.

My name is really on the admissions list of new students. I guess I just need to live my day as usual. Departing at the clock, sometimes skipping school, and being what I always do. Lazily receive lessons.

Really, everything was still fine until then a student complained to me who seemed to be wearing a uniform, but did not leave. Teacher BK's first call finally came, and I came to him as if nothing had happened.

It's just a normal thing, they won't be too surprised anymore. It turns out that I was surprised myself.

"I'm actually just sorry for your mother who begged us to accept you. Now I'm sorry!"

That's what he said.

I should have known, there's no way I'd be taken for granted.

Really, my feelings are mixed. They blame me, but I feel lied to. I was so angry, that for the first time in my life, I cursed my own mother, when obviously I did nothing noble.

For the first time in his life, he used corporal punishment; the way he hated it.

"If you're a man, you should protect, not make women cry, let alone your own mother!"

I was so surprised. He didn't say much, but once he said something, it became a long-term memory that was always embedded in my mind. Unfortunately, character is not something that is easily changed. Closed personality I did not improve, routine truant still I run although the intensity of the action is getting reduced every day.

However, I paid for my absence yesterday, by hearing the most focused lesson the next day. Thanks to him, every year I managed to go to class, even with academic scores and attendance at the end of the horn.

How pathetic?

Not really!

My grades may always be mediocre, but national testing is the ultimate momentum. I only studied for a week, but my grades beat those who tutored by day night. SKS, aka last night's speeding system, actually worked for me.

Without begging for mercy like before, I was even accepted into a student at one of the state universities. It's quite proud. Until then, I heard the fact that they might not be able to send my sister as high as me.

Very amusing. I don't know why I can't laugh. That's when I wanted to do it again.

......................

I guess I'm just a brat. It was fate, something that violated the nature to fight against.