Pure Darkness
Chapter 56
With this chapter, we reach the end of Volume 1. Our Scooby team is divided; bo Jinyan takes time off in a way that fully suits her personality (Poor Jian Yao), while An Yan's moment with Gu Fangfang is much more hopeful, and the, and give a little light humor. It's a dismal end to Volume 1, but Ding Mo is also building anticipation for his next story arc with the possibility of showing who ‘Big Bad’ might be. . . .
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A thin piece of white gauze covered Bo Jinyan's eyes.
Sitting by his side, Jian Yao extended her hand to touch him, but placed it down again.
“Do you want to porridge again?” he asked gently.
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“No need,” he said in a soft tone.
Jian Yao nodded, then realized that she could not see him. Gently, he pulled her back so that she lay on the bed.
A thought suddenly flashed in his head. If everything was as usual, right now, he would read.
Do you want me to read to you? Those words were on his lips, but he could not utter them.
So, they both sat like that, in silence. He couldn't see his eyes, so he didn't know what he was thinking. His hands were only a foot away, but it suddenly felt as if they were separated by many people.
“Jinyan. . . do you want to go out for a walk?” she asked.
Bo Jinyan looked over.
Outside the window of the ward, there were voices, as well as the chirping of small birds.
“No need,” he said gently.
Jian Yao suddenly felt a tremendous burden of sadness. She didn't want him to notice, so she hurriedly said, “I'm going to the restroom.”
“Oke.”
Silence once again filled the room.
Bo Jinyan raised her head slightly. Indeed, the sensation of darkness was overwhelming. Because of the darkness, people's hearts would completely become confused and helpless, for no matter which direction one looked, no matter which direction one walked, it did not matter which way one walked, it is impossible to know if the next step will lead to the bottomless pit.
He lay very quietly, alone, for five minutes.
He finally could not tolerate it any further. He grabbed the blanket by his side and threw it forcefully.
His pale face shone with a hint of sweat, and also had a tinge of green.
This was the scene that Jian Yao saw as she walked through the door holding a cup of tea. He immediately put it down, ran to his side and gripped his hand tightly. “Jinyan, everything is fine. . .just relax.”
The tension on Bo Jinyan's face eased for a moment. It was as if he could not lose his temper when he was around. He said nothing, and just looked towards the window.
“Ya,” said, in a very low voice.
Jian Yao held his hand speechlessly.
He did not realize that he had to face his miserable and miserable condition.
Bo Jinyan, this person, was extremely pitiful and uncommunicative.
Then, when the food arrived, Jian Yao patiently and meticulously fed him, spoonful by spoonful.
After eating, he fell asleep due to the medication. Jian Yao curled up beside him on the bed. In a hazy state, she could feel that someone was gently stroking her cheeks and hair. Jian Yao subconsciously curled further into his embrace, and then hugged tightly.
“Jinyan. .” she whispered, “in the future, I will be your eyes.”
No need to say anything more. All the talk about constantly trying new medical breakthroughs, or about how the doctor will say that there is only a piece of hope, but one should not give up. . .
If you are blind for one day, then I will live as if I were blind for one day.
If you're blind for the rest of your life, I'll be by your side until our hair bleaches.
It was like a drop of boiling hot liquid landed on his cheek. In the dimly lit room, Jian Yao did not raise his head, but pretended not to notice anything.
“Ziyu. . . has he been found?” tanyanya slow.
Jian Yao's heart was a well of sorrow. “Find.”
He did not ask further.
“Jian Yao, I want to be alone for a while,” he said.
Jian Yao did not speak.
The ring on his finger silently glittered in the darkness.
Just like a broken heart.
——
One afternoon, a few days later, Bo Jinyan left just like that.
Jian Yao returned from the police station to a completely empty room and a neatly folded bed.
His face was pale, and he did not say a word. He searched the entire hospital, looking into every ward, until he was sure that he was really gone. He really left her.
At the same time as his departure, An Yan was discharged from the hospital. These two men, like colorless and meaningless water droplets, completely disappeared from the face of the earth.
Finally, Jian Yao found the letter under the pillow. He sat by the window, framed by the setting sun and wind-blown curtains, and read a letter written by Bo Jinyan himself.
“Yes,
I want to go for a minute.
Once, my belief in justice was unshakeable. Even until now, this belief has not wavered.
However, there are some things I have to deal with myself; some things need to be clarified; some things cannot be let go.
I'll take care of myself. I hope you do the same.
I'll come back to you when I think I've prepared myself well enough for our future.
I regret.
— Jinyan, who loves you so much.”
Even though his words were barely legible, they were still written boldly and vigorously. A few words overlap.
He wrote this letter with his eyes closed.
Jian Yao looked at it for a long time. Then, with one hand gripping his heart, he lowered his head, and did not look up for a very long time.
——
At night, the lights on the university campus went out, and everything was silent.
An Yan stood on the ground floor of the sorority dormitory. Many people stared at him, but his expression did not change.
A girl he didn't know ran down the stairs and walked towards him. With a tone of disbelief in his voice, he asked, “Kamu. . is that the police officer, An Yan?”
An Yan nodded. “I An Yan.”
The girl exclaimed and said, “Wait a moment, the situation seems to be different from what we thought. Please wait.” After speaking, he ran up the stairs in a hurry.
An Yan continued to stand upright, like a pillar.
In the dorm.
Gu Fangfang sat on his desk, somewhat dumbfounded. Behind him was a group of girls who were all giving his advice.
“Don't be gentle, Fangfang, he made you wait* for more than a month, it will help him if you make him wait!”
“Fright!”
*T/N (fang le ge zi) – lights up. to release pigeons; ara. to make an appointment and not keep it; fraud. It comes from a pigeon that is a symbol of peace.
**T/N (si hua) – women recognized as the prettiest women in the department.
At this moment, the girl who was originally sent down to mock An Yan and make her life miserable came back running, gasping for breath. “No, Fangfang, something's not right! He's injured, there's a bandage on his arm! Face hurt!”
The girls did not know how to react. Gu Fangfang immediately stood up and dashed down without a word.
He left a circle of dumbfounded school friends.
“How can this happen? Didn't he say he was only in charge of monitoring? How could he be hurt?”
“I also think he's handsome. . So, it doesn't seem like everything is that simple.”
Gu Fangfang dashed down the stairs; he could already see An Yan from a distance. She was surprised – was only a month, but she had become so thin, and her entire appearance seemed to indicate that she had suffered a terrible disaster.
“Are you okay?” he asked while running towards her.
When An Yan saw her, his heart surged in excitement. It was only then that he realized that the thread of longing he had instilled in his heart over the past few days had developed into something even more intense.
“I'm fine,” he said, his face flushed red.
However, Gu Fangfang continued to frown as he stared at his bandaged arm.
“I'm sorry.” He continued, “That day, I was on duty and something happened, so I couldn't come.”
“No problem, no problem!” Gu Fangfang quickly waved his hand. “You ..as long as you are fine, everything is fine. ”
“Yes, I'm fine.”
Both of them were silent for a moment, looking uncomfortable.
Gu Fangfang investigated further. “Are you hurt trying to catch the bad guy?”
An Yan suddenly found himself at a loss for words as a complex network of emotions he had never experienced before surged in his chest.
The girl in front of him, standing under the calm night light, lived a peaceful and blessed life. How could he tell her, how could he make her understand, that this young criminal investigator, who had spent several days on the verge of life and death, was, at the time of the explosion suddenly thought – oh, no , I can't meet him tomorrow.
So, this is what it means to leave obligations for love*.
*T/N (ying xiong qi duan, er nuq qing chang) – light up. the spirit of a hero ( ⁇ ) is short/short ( ⁇ ), but the love between man and woman ( ⁇ ) is long/ eternal ( ⁇ ); used to refer to a man who turns away from duty for the sake of love. First used in the 18th chapter (shui hu ji), the Chinese version/game classic (shui hu zhuan), known in various ways (in English) as ‘The Water Margin’, is, ‘ Outlaws of the Marsh’, and ‘All Men are Brothers’.
An Yan smiled faintly, and said, “Ya, that's right.”
Gu Fangfang's gaze shifted, and he looked down. “Then, when will we eat it?”
An Yan's heart was suddenly filled with waves of sadness. A kind of wild push over him and he took a step forward to pull him closer with one hand.
Gu Fangfang was completely shocked.
“Wah. .” A cry sounded from the top floor of the dormitory behind them.
“SAYA . . Must go briefly, ”said An Yan. “I want to protect someone. Someone I respect for my life. If there were still people in this world who could be called ‘hebat’, he would be one of them. The situation right now is really bad. I have to take care of him, and help him. Just as we will keep our faith.”
Gu Fangfang's body was still numb, completely numb, but he felt a hint of indescribable sadness upon hearing his words. “Then . . . How long will you be gone?”
“Maybe a few months, maybe a few years.”
“Jadi . . . lama, ah.”
An Yan gradually released her. “Fangfang, wait for me back.” After saying this, he turned around and left.
Gu Fangfang stood in place, not moving a muscle, watching him get into the car, watching him drive out of campus, watching him disappear from his sight.
At that moment, shouts of shock and cries of admiration burst out from the people around him. Gu Fangfang looked up when he heard that voice. In the darkness of the blue-black night, several lights actually appeared simultaneously on the huge skyscraper across the campus. Moreover, the lights were arranged with a pattern. The person next to him had read the words out loud:
“Wait for me, Goddess.
AY”
“Wait for me, Goddess! AY What kind of hero or bastard is this AY? So arrogant! Shit!”
——
The same intoxicating twilight also enveloped the tall buildings in the city.
Luo Lang sat in front of the window, lazily smoking. The symphony of ‘Manfred’ Tchaikovsky is being played, filling the room with a deafening sound.
The curtains are tightly closed, with narrow gaps.
In front of the crack stood a precision telescope.
Luo Lang finished smoking, stood up, and looked at the telescope.
Really focused.
Passing through the building, past the night curtain, past many people. The telescope was trained precisely on the window.
In the window, the muslin curtain moved slightly. A single lamp emitted a soft light into the room. Jian Yao wore a warm yellow T-shirt as she sat in front of the window with her head slightly bowed, revealing a neck that was as pale as jade. He sat in silence for a long time.
Since then, she is the only one in her home, her home that is much loved and blessed.
Luo Lang moved away from the telescope and sat down once more. He started smoking moodyly, until the ashtray could no longer hold any more ash, until the darkness of the night became a huge black hole that enveloped the earth. The lights in the room turned on automatically, consecutively. Behind him was a wall, extending from the bedroom, through the hallway, into the living room.
On the wall, the photos. Lots of photos, crammed together without a sense of regularity. Hundreds of them.
Jian Yao was in police uniform; Jian Yao and Bo Jinyan walked to the Animation Garden; Jian Yao with an apron at home, cooked; Jian Yao was on his way to work.
……
Photo Jian Xuan* is reading in the university library. The photo of Bu Jian selling vegetables in the market, slightly smiling, head down.
*T/N Brother Jian Yao
……
The dagger that had killed the killer was on the table next to him. The blood trail and fingerprints have been erased.
Luo Lang looked down. The hand that had been holding the cigarette was now stuck to his forehead.
If separation causes one great grief, reuniting also causes one to lose direction.
All we need is forgiveness.
……
He said justice and faith will never change.
He said he'd come back.
You know, justice is like a deep pool under the moon, inside of which are cold rocks.
In the dark, clear light and crystals from the water* are always present.
*T/N (an guang lin lin) – \= darkness; \= light; \= clear and crystallized (water). The title of the novel, , comes from this phrase, which we have translated as ‘Pure’ Darkness.
Although there are times when the water becomes cloudy, or turbulent,
in the end, the water will settle so that the rocks are visible, and the clouds will scatter so that the moon shines brightly.
If he finally returns,
please, from this moment on, close your eyes that have soaked tears in the darkness of the night.
*T/N (we maintain the previous 4-line format as given in the online version of the novel)
Since he's coming, please close your eyes.
End of Volume 1
